Vera Wong's Unsolicited Advice for Murderers

First-generation immigrants like Vera often retain values from their countries of origin—especially regarding family. Sometimes, these values clash with one’s new home—in Chinese immigrant Vera’s case, the US, a country that values independence and individualism. Second-generation children often internalize the culture of their new home, which can create conflict between generations with different perspectives and expectations. Vera grew up in a culture that values filial piety: She was expected to prioritize her parents’ needs and wants, emotionally and financially. Children of Chinese parents might compete with one another to demonstrate the depth of their filial piety, sometimes at the cost of their own lives. Vera remembers getting up before dawn to serve her parents and going to them for advice even when she didn’t need it so they would feel appreciated. For her, these were expressions of love, and they remain ingrained in her as an older woman. Thus, she feels hurt when Tilly doesn’t show filial love in the same way. He grew up in the US, which prioritizes independence over family. His mother’s constant texts are an intrusion on this independence, but their relationship changes when he learns Vera is having difficulties. Tilly then offers the emotional and financial support that she recognizes as filial love.

In many Chinese families, children’s academic and professional achievements affect their parents’ social status. Success is seen as a reflection of parents’ hard work and sacrifice, for which they receive praise. In Chinese culture, success is also a reflection of parents’ virtue. Chinese parents Vera and Alex, as well as South Asian mother Priya, illustrate different ways in which filial piety and social status impact intergenerational relationships. Vera and Alex are both proud of their respective sons’ professional success, or, in Alex’s case, what he believes to be Marshall’s success. When Vera calls Tilly at his office, she hears people working in the background, and the sound fills her with pride. His profession as a lawyer is prestigious in terms of both money and morals—which frames Vera as a competent, virtuous parent in return. When Alex brags about the successes of his filial son, Vera is careful never to bring up his other son, the “bad” one, who brings shame on the family.

Sana’s mother, Priya, describes Sana as a creative genius and shows off her paintings, but Sana feels that she is just bragging about herself in a roundabout way. However, her approach is reflective of her own parents: When Priya rejected an engineering career, her parents disowned her and only revoked their decision when she became a successful writer. In doing so, they made their love conditional. Priya’s excessive praise of Sana is a reaction to this betrayal, one that she doesn’t want to inflict on her own daughter. She doesn’t fixate on money as her own parents did but harms her daughter’s mental health by perpetuating their idea of success.