Twisted Lies (Twisted, #4)

“Everything was fine. He wasn’t back, and I was safe. But despite my self-reassurance, a small part of me couldn’t shake the sense that my gut had been right and that someone had been watching me in the hall.”

The mysterious mention of a “he” returning from her past, alongside personal reassurances to herself, increases the already ominous tone. Not only is there a strange feeling that someone is watching or following Stella, but there is proof that this has occurred before, making the threat all the more real.

“Christian’s expression remained polite, almost disinterested, while Luisa talked, but there was nothing disinterested about the way his eyes held mine. Dark and knowing, like they could strip away every mask I showed the world and find the broken pieces of the girl hiding underneath. Like they thought the brokenness was beautiful anyway. Unease burned through me, and I severed the connection with a blink.”

This passage early on depicts the way Christian will see Stella for who she truly is and not judge her or shy away. His ability to see through her in every way is why Stella quickly becomes more comfortable with him than she is even with her friends.

“I opened my mouth to interrupt them. I could see myself doing it in my head, but in real life, the words couldn’t make it past the filter of my upbringing and lifelong social anxiety. Disaster number three. To anyone else, Raya’s interruption wouldn’t rise to the level of a disaster, but my brain couldn’t always untangle the difference between a setback and a catastrophe.”

This passage illustrates the anxiety and panic that Stella faces on a daily basis. Her lack of confidence in herself and her overwhelming fear of failure or rejection prevent her from speaking up for herself or charging headfirst toward what she wants. This highlights her internal conflict regarding Escaping Pressurizing Expectations.

“Lack of enthusiasm? Lack of enthusiasm? I was the first person in and the last person out of the office. I did eighty percent of the work on shoots for a fraction of the credit. I never complained even when she threw the most outrageous requests at me, like getting Chanel to ship a limited-edition couture gown to us from Paris with less than twenty-four hours’ notice. If that was a lack of enthusiasm, I shuddered to think what she considered an appropriate level of dedication.”

Her boss’s invalidation of her work and dedication is the latest in a long string of failures and setbacks that have destroyed Stella’s confidence. After years of trying her hardest to excel in a job, one missed call on a weekend when she’s not even supposed to be working is enough to make her a failure in her boss’s eyes. The repetition of “lack of enthusiasm” reflects Stella’s fixated process of unravelling Meredith’s sentiments.

“Deception. Lying. Pretending to be someone I wasn’t. I’d cultivated close relationships with my followers over the years. Some of them had been with me since I was a college freshman posting grainy photos of my campus looks online. The thought of betraying that trust made my stomach turn.”

This passage illustrates the guilt that Stella feels at lying to her followers on Instagram. This also illustrates the blurriness in personal and private boundaries on social media that end up posing a threat to Stella’s life.

“Says the guy who buys followers and uses a fake account to comment how hot he is under his own posts. The retort tingled on the tip of my tongue until my aversion to confrontation squashed it. If I had a penny for every comeback I kept to myself, I wouldn’t need the Delamonte deal. I would already be a millionaire.”

Stella has a habit of holding back her retorts in favor of remaining passive and agreeable to those around her. Her inability to speak up for herself characterizes her lack of confidence and eagerness to please. Huang makes the voices of both Stella and Christian distinctive as she alternates between them, and one of Stella’s characteristics is biting yet comedic sarcasm stylized in italicized speech to portray her anxious filter.

“I finished my first sketch and moved on to the second. A tiny seed of pride sprouted with each sketch I completed. To others, they were just drawings, but to me, they were proof of perseverance after years of holding myself back. Sometimes, victory was as simple as finishing.”

This is the first time in the novel when an accomplishment brings Stella pride. This is not because it is a bigger or grander accomplishment but because it is something she does for herself and in pursuit of her real dream. This step toward Escaping Pressurizing Expectations highlights her character development.

“Ironically, in my fantasies, it was never about the man. My phantom lover had remained faceless all these years, an amorphous figure who didn’t require an identity to provide me with what I wanted—the safe loss of control and an off switch for the ceaseless worries plaguing my brain. Nothing but the sharp stings of pleasure and adjacent pain. But as wetness soaked my fingers and the pressure built between my thighs, the faceless figure came into focus for the first time since my fantasies started. Golden-brown eyes. Lethally soft smile. A heated brush of lips against mine and a ruthless grip that dug into my skin with just enough pressure to make my head swim.”

The fact that Stella’s mystery man in her fantasy morphs into visions of Christian reveals her changing feelings toward him. He is the face that shows up even in rough fantasies where complete trust is required for her to feel comfortable and at ease, which showcases the safety and security that Stella already feels in his company.

“Something jagged and morose punctured my thrill until I slowly floated back down to earth. Somehow, it felt worse to achieve something and still feel dissatisfied than to not achieve it at all. I had a million followers, yet I’d never felt emptier.”

Stella feels disappointed and empty after reaching one million followers. Though it’s been a goal for so long, it doesn’t actually change anything meaningful in her life. Huang uses a metaphor of flying until something is “punctured” and Stella lands back on earth, highlighting Stella’s understanding of the empty promises of a follower count.

“My entire life, I’d created for other people. My blog posts were for my audience, my photos were for my followers, my grades had been for my parents, and my ideas had been for DC Style when I worked there. This was the first time in a long time that I’d done something for me, and honestly? It felt damn good.”

While reaching one million subscribers doesn’t bring Stella pride, sewing a draft of one of her own designs does. The dress is something she makes purely for herself, whereas social media content is something she makes for the judgment of others. Huang uses the anaphora of “my” to reinforce Stella’s new sense of ownership over her life.

“I could apologize and smooth things over. Anything to erase my mother’s hurt and my father’s anger. The little girl in me still cringed at the thought of making my parents mad, but anything less than full honesty would only be a temporary salve for a festering wound.”

The former version of Stella wars with the newer version that’s been fighting to emerge. While the old Stella wants to apologize and bow down to her parents’ desires once again, the new Stella doesn’t want dissatisfaction and misery. The metaphor of a “salve” and a “wound” conveys the point that Stella has felt destroyed by her relationship with her family.

“Look at how you reacted. Instead of supporting her, you attacked her. Instead of being proud of her drive and passion, you force her into a box she doesn’t belong in. Stella is one of the most selfless, creative, and brilliant people I know, yet you belittle her for not conforming to your limited definitions of success. Why? Because you’re embarrassed to have a child who dared stray from the rigid path you yourself took? Your pride matters more to you than her happiness, yet you’re surprised that she considers the only adult who was there for her growing up to be more of a parent than either of you were.”

In Christian’s speech of support for Stella while at dinner with her parents, Huang uses hypophora—a speaker answering their own questions after answering it—to highlight Christian’s sense of righteousness and dominance in a dynamic in which Stella has always felt diminished. The speech dives headfirst into the theme of Escaping Pressurizing Expectations by describing the ways in which their own expectations for Stella have caged her.

“I’ve always been the quiet, obedient daughter. The one who did everything my parents asked, who apologized even when I didn’t need to, and who bent over backward to make sure everyone was happy. But every person has a limit, and I’ve reached mine. I’m pretty sure nothing I do will be good enough for my family, so why even try? I might as well tell them the truth about how I feel.”

Stella finally reaches a point at which she gives up on trying to please others. She eventually understands that the only person who needs pleasing is herself, which greatly eases the pressure she puts on herself. This is a significant moment of character development, marked by a rhetorical question (“[W]hy even try?”) since she now has the confidence to make decisions without waiting for someone to respond to her doubts.

“It’s ironic. I didn’t want him to go, but he ended up being the best part of my night. There’s something about him…I don’t know how to explain it. But he makes me feel like I can be anyone I want to be. Better yet, he makes me feel like I can be who I am.”

Christian has a habit of making Stella feel more herself than she feels with anyone else. She doesn’t feel pressured to put on airs or be anyone but herself when she is with him, unlike how she feels with her family, friends, and online community where there is always pressure to conform. Huang hence juxtaposes Christian with the negative influences in Stella’s life to drive the romantic plot.

“I’d spent years building my brand by myself, but ever since the Delamonte deal and my stalker’s reappearance, I’d been off balance. Unsure of myself. I’d relied on Christian for confidence, and a small part of me was convinced I would’ve bombed the New York shoot if it hadn’t been for him. But I’d completed the shoot today by myself, and I’d done a damn good job.”

Though Stella has experienced significant character growth by this point in the novel, she has relied heavily on Christian for her confidence. The solo photoshoot that she does in Hawaii is her first time relying completely on herself to provide the confidence she needs to move forward.

“She was a study in contrasts, the most fascinating puzzle I’d ever come across—strength and vulnerability, calm and chaos, innocence and debauchery. The woman whose gentle smile soothed the savage beast inside me was the same one who unleashed it with her cries and pleas for more. For me to take her and mark her as mine.”

The comparison of Stella to a puzzle that Christian cannot solve is the reason he becomes obsessed with her in the first place. However, this passage shows that his interest has become less about obsession and more about admiration and pride. Huang uses three antithetical pairs to reinforce Stella’s character complexities and build romantic tension as Christian tries to get to know her.

“If I were with anyone else, I never would’ve found the courage to do what I’d just done. The fear of rejection would’ve been too strong, even with someone I was dating. But that was one of my favorite things about Christian. I could be who I was and who I aspired to be in equal measure. I never had to worry when I was with him.”

The full extent of Stella’s character development over the course of the novel is evidenced in this passage. At the beginning of the novel, she’s afraid to ask for what she wants or speak up for herself. By the end of the novel, she’s completely comfortable with Christian and learns to speak up for herself.

“Leaving went against my every instinct. Every molecule of my body demanded I stay and fight for her, beg and plead until she forgave me. But I had already crossed too many boundaries with her, and I couldn’t cross another one. Not when she’d explicitly asked me not to. I’d meant what I said. I would give Stella anything she wanted, even if it killed me in the process.”

Despite his initial crossing of boundaries, Christian cares about Stella enough to place aside his own desires and put her needs first. His conflicted mindset is reflected in the varied sentence structure and syntax in this passage. The second sentence has multiple clauses, and Huang leaves out any conjunction before “beg and plead” to reflect disordered thoughts. Later sentences, such as “I’d meant what I said,” are more resolute and suggest that he is reaching a firmer conclusion.

“I believed he was sorry, and I believed he loved me in whatever way he knew how. But that didn’t change the fact that our relationship had been built on a lie. He knew how much the stalker had traumatized me. How much I hated the invasion of privacy and loss of control over my own life.”

This third-act breakup does not occur because of a typical misunderstanding but because of the reveal of a major secret. The reveal hits upon Stella’s greatest fear about her Right to Privacy, which is the ultimate slight against her considering the terror that her stalker has caused her.

“Our power imbalance wasn’t about money or security; it was about trust. I’d always given more than I received from him. The thought of him sitting at his desk and poking through the most intimate parts of my life with a mere press of a button sent another shiver down my spine.”

The discovery about Christian’s invasion of Stella’s privacy prompts her to evaluate their relationship in a new light. She begins to realize that she’s revealed much about herself to him, yet he’s revealed little in return. The imagery of Christian at his desk with a “button” evokes villainous tropes of the suspense genre, reinforcing the egregious nature of his invasion of privacy. The reference to a button alludes to someone ordering the deployment of weapons, highlighting the fact that this information could be weaponized against her if in the wrong hands.

“Kage was my oldest employee. My right-hand man. Once upon a time, he’d saved my life, and he was one of the few people I’d trusted.”

This passage drives home the drama of Kage’s betrayal. As CEO of one of the best security companies in existence, the fact that Christian’s oldest friend and best employee, who has quite literally saved Christian’s life in the past, illustrates that total security cannot be certain. This adds extra tension to the current drama unfolding in Stella’s plotline, as she is in potential danger as well. Christian’s failure to catch Kage from the start highlights his human fallibility and creates a sense of doubt that he can save Stella from her stalker.

“He said he loved me, but what he was doing wasn’t love. Love was accepting me for who I was, flaws and all. Love was believing in me even when I didn’t believe in myself. Love was quiet moments and soft kisses, breathless exhilaration and rough hands all rolled into one. Love was what Christian gave me. He’d crossed boundaries and kept secrets, but he would never do this. He would never drug me or intentionally hurt me.”

With Stella’s stalker finally unveiled, this passage places Julian and Christian in direct comparison as each other’s foils. While, in recent chapters, they’ve mirrored each other in some ways, Stella recognizes the difference between Christian’s betrayal and Julian’s. Though Julian’s was obsessive and had malicious intent, Christian’s was born of genuine admiration and eventual love.

“I flipped through them, my heart rate climbing with every sheet that came into view. They were all addressed to me and dated from the day we broke up. One letter for every day we’d been apart.”

Considering that her stalker had written letters to her as well, Huang draws another direct comparison between Julian and Christian to show Christian in a romantic light. These letters, left in the same spot as the invasive information that he’d gathered about Stella long ago, hint at the strides that Christian is making to heal their relationship and restore her love and trust in him.