This Is How It Always Is

Fairy tales appear repeatedly in the book as a way of coping with and making sense of the world. Penn uses fairy tales as a tool to teach his children life lessons, namely self-acceptance. Poppy takes on this legacy of storytelling, first as a kindergartener facing her gender identity for the first time, then as an English teacher in Thailand. While Poppy is in Thailand, fairy tales serve the dual function of helping the students learn a new language while also helping Poppy connect with people and normalizing her experience in the world. Telling her story to the Thai students gives Poppy perspective on her situation and helps her cultivate the confidence to return to her school in Seattle. Finally, Penn abandons the fairy tale trope after he realizes that he does not believe in neat endings, but rather in the power of storytelling to continue to grow as it is told.

The book repeatedly examines the drawbacks yet necessity of secrets, most pointedly around keeping Claude a secret from the Walsh-Adamses’ Seattle community. On the one hand, this secret allows Poppy to live the life she has always dreamed of, unburdened by public scrutiny or physical violence.