Thinking in Pictures: My Life With Autism

“People throughout the world are on a continuum of visualization skills ranging from next to none, to seeing vague generalized pictures, to seeing semi-specific pictures, to seeing, as in my case, in very specific pictures.”

Although similarities exist regarding thinking patterns for those with autism, not everyone with autism thinks identically. People with and without autism think along a spectrum, with varying degrees of visualization. Grandin’s thinking represents a strong capacity for visual thinking.

“It appears that at one end of the spectrum, autism is primarily a cognitive disorder, and at the other end, it is primarily a sensory processing disorder.” 

Cognition refers to mental activities, such as thinking. Grandin’s struggle with abstract thought is an example of a cognitive difficulty. Sensory processing involves what happens when the body experiences sensory information, such as sight and sound, and how the brain processes that information. An example of a sensory processing difficulty for Grandin is her sensitivity to high-pitch sounds. 

“It must be like seeing the world through a kaleidoscope and trying to listen to a radio station that is jammed with static at the same time. Add to that a broken volume control, which causes the volume to jump erratically from a loud boom to inaudible.” 

Grandin describes the sensory process of a person with a more extreme form of autism. Extreme forms can include “sensory mixing,” or an overlapping of sensory information with no concrete distinction between them. The metaphor of a kaleidoscope illuminates the likely overwhelming experience associated with sensing all sights, sounds, and other sensory information at one time.

“Do not get too single-minded on one method. Use things that work and eliminate things that do not work. Sometimes a combination of methods is best.” 

Multiple effective treatment options for autism exist. Success depends on the severity of autism and other unique and personal factors. Grandin takes a logical perspective to determine the best treatment option, stating the importance of evaluating the effectiveness, and not feeling restrained to only one method. 

“It came as a kind of revelation, as well as a blessed relief, when I learned that my sensory problems weren’t the result of my weakness or lack of character. When I was a teenager, I was aware that I did not fit in socially, but I was not aware that my method of visual thinking and my overly sensitive senses were the cause of my difficulties in relating to and interacting with other people.”

Grandin states a growing awareness for the differences between her patterns of processing and relating to the world, compared to those without autism. Insight about how her visual thinking and sensory sensitivities influence her social difficulties reframes Grandin’s perceptions of self. Grandin’s experience as an outsider motivates her to help others understand the cognitive and sensory effects on social interactions, so others can avoid social detachment or rejection. 

“I am frustrated by the fact that some teachers and therapists still do not recognize the importance of sensory over sensibility. It must be difficult for them to imagine a totally different way of perceiving the world where sounds and lights are super intense.”

Past beliefs about autism often exclude the prominent role of sensory sensitivities, including how sensory sensitivities affect behaviors. It may be difficult for professionals to understand the role of sensory processing if they never directly experience a sensory sensitivity. Grandin advocates for giving the necessary attention to sensory processing for complete understanding.

“Construction of this abnormal ‘dendrite highway’ may explain why it is so difficult to rehabilitate zoo animals that have engaged in years of stereotypical pacing. This is why it is so important to start therapy and education when an autistic child is young, so that developing nerve endings can connect in the right places.”

The brain is interactional with the environment, meaning it grows and changes with the experiences of a person or animal. The “dendrite highway” is part of the physical structure of the brain, and can be difficult to change. Early intervention is important for healthy brain development, including healthy “dendrite highway” construction.

“The closest thing I have to joy is the excited pleasure I feel when I have solved a design problem. When I get this feeling, I just want to kick up my heels. I’m like a calf gamboling about on a spring day.”

People with autism are not void of emotion, but how they experience emotion is different. Grandin refers to intellect taking precedence, as well as her emotional attachment to places, and problem solving, rather than people. Grandin relates her emotional expression to a calf, another example of her connection to cattle. 

“Throughout my life I have been helped by understanding teachers and mentors. People with autism desperately need guides to instruct and educate them so they will survive in the social jungle.”

Awareness for her use of intellect rather than emotions in social situations helps Grandin navigate the social world. Without this awareness, social interactions can be more difficult. Adults serve an important function because those with autism require explicit instruction with social skills. 

“People have empathy when they directly experience suffering. In my work with restaurant companies, I have taken many top executives on their first tours to farms and slaughter plants. Prior to the site visits, animal welfare was just an abstract thing. After they saw suffering firsthand, they made big changes and forced their suppliers to comply with animal welfare guidelines.”

Empathy occurs at varying degrees for both autistic and non-autistic people. An abstract concept, empathy may require direct experience to understand. Grandin describes the concrete way she increases empathy and advocates for animal welfare in slaughter facilities. Empathy is prominent in Grandin’s work with animals and her desire to promote animal welfare. 

“Psychiatrists and psychologists were of little help. They were too busy trying to psychoanalyze me and discover my deep dark psychological problems. One psychiatrist thought if he could find my ‘psychic injury,’ I would be cured.”

The professionals Grandin references in this quote miss the importance of sensory sensitivities, instead believing the source of her problem is psychological rather than biological. Grandin reports that multiple professionals misunderstood autism, which negatively influenced their ability to help. 

“But autism exaggerates normal behavior to a point that is beyond most people’s capacity for understanding. For example, many people thought the way I perseverated on my door symbols was weird and tried to get me to get rid of them. It took someone like Mr. Carlock to help me channel my fixations.” 

When viewed as strange, autistic behavior can lead people to dismiss characteristics and coping mechanisms they don’t understand. However, adults like Mr. Carlock perceive Grandin’s fixations differently—that is, he recognizes their purpose and benefit. Fixations can be motivators when appropriately structured.

“Students need to be exposed to many different interesting things in science, industry, and other fields so they learn that there is more to life than video games.”

Grandin encourages children with autism to explore a variety of interests. She raises concerns about video games because they may reduce opportunities to learn and practice social skills, as well as limit experience with other interests. A fixation with video games may result in undesirable consequences.

“In an ideal world the scientist should find a method to prevent the most severe forms of autism but allow the milder forms to survive. After all, the really social people did not invent the first stone spear. It was probably invented by an Aspie who chipped away at rocks while other people socialized around the campfire. Without autism traits we might still be living in caves.”

Not all autistic traits are problematic. At a milder level, autistic traits contribute to knowledge and innovation. Grandin references an “Aspie” (i.e., person with Asperger’s) using a fixation of chipping at rocks as an example of the skills those with autism provide. Grandin shares a concern about a world without autism, a world with less diversity and void of the many benefits that autistic people offer.

“I used to think it was normal to feel nervous all the time, and it was a revelation to find out that most people do not have constant anxiety attacks.” 

Anxiety and panic attacks plague Grandin, more so following puberty. Pursuing knowledge about biochemistry and anxiety, she uses her scientific mind to expand her understanding. Grandin eventually learns that anxiety is not the default emotional state for everyone, and seeks out medication to reduce anxiety.

“Medication can reduce anxiety, but it will not inspire a person the way a good teacher can. It seems that some people with autism are given so many powerful drugs that they act as a chemical straitjacket.”

Grandin states the contributions of medication and social support. She challenges the possible belief that medication is an all-encompassing treatment option, again declaring the significance of mentors. She also spotlights the problem of overmedicating people with autism, which increases with a lack of understanding about how to prescribe medication to autistic people. 

“All my life I have been an observer, and I have always felt like someone who watches from the outside.”

Social difficulties weave through many stories of those with autism, including Grandin. Ridicule by her peers, a lack of common interests, and insufficient knowledge and innate understanding about social interactions all make life more challenging. Those with autism may lack full integration in their social world, instead sequestered to the fringe. 

“Learning social skills is like learning how to act in a play. Social skills can be taught but social emotional relatedness cannot be taught. Social skills and emotional relatedness are two different things.”

The ability to relate socially and emotionally to others may never be the goal for a person with autism. Instead, adults need to focus on the straightforward teaching of social skills. Grandin describes her experience in social interactions with the metaphor of acting out a role in a play—enacting social skills but without the emotions that accompany social relationships for others.

“My connection with these animals goes back to the time I first realized that the squeeze machine could help calm my anxiety. I have been seeing the world from their point of view ever since.” 

Empathy and perspective taking serve as important goals in Grandin’s life, particularly in her career. She recalls observing cattle in the chute at her Aunt Brecheen’s, noticing the resulting calm of the cattle. After experiencing her own sense of calm following the pressure of the cattle chute, she connects to the animals, increasing her perspective taking and empathy. Sensory perspective taking, and empathy for animals, are necessary skills for Grandin.

“Cattle have a very wide, panoramic visual field, because they are a prey species, ever wary and watchful for signs of danger. Similarly, some people with autism are like fearful animals in a world full of dangerous predators.”

Grandin notes multiple similarities between animals and autism, such as the role of fear. Other possible similarities include visual thinking, sensory sensitivities, and fixations. Autism gifts Grandin with the awareness of these similarities, including her ability to find patterns and associations that others might miss. Understanding the common fear response, including the physiological fear reaction, offers an opportunity for more empathy for animals and people with autism.

 “My experience as a visual thinker with autism makes it clear to me that thought does not have to be verbal or sequential to be real. I considered my thoughts to be real long before I learned that there was a difference between visual and verbal thinkers. I am not saying that animals and normal humans and autistics think alike. But I do believe that recognizing different capacities and kinds of thought and expression can lead to greater connectedness and understanding.”

People can overlook different forms of thinking, such as visual thinking. An acknowledgment of the benefits from multiple forms of thought should supersede any hierarchy of thinking. People are likely to be more empathetic when they take the time to understand different forms of thought and expression. 

“During the past three years I have become fully aware that my visualization skills exceed those of most other people. I would never want to become so normal that I would lose these skills.”

Grandin discusses the ideas of genius, abnormality, and normality. Abnormality includes both genius and autism, with genius defined as positive and autism as negative. However, Grandin discusses the commonalities between genius and autism. The abnormality of autism includes Grandin’s talent for visualization, and trading her visual thinking for the label of “normal” is not a trade she desires to make. 

“During my career, I have met many brilliant visual thinkers working in the maintenance departments of meat plants. Some of these people are great designers and invent all kinds of innovative equipment, but they were disillusioned and frustrated at school. Our educational system weeds these people out of the system instead of turning them into world-class scientists.” 

Misconceptions surrounding autism and types of thinking may direct a person away from a career in science. Viewing those with autism or high degrees of visual thinking from a deficit viewpoint, or simply overlooking their visual talents, may cause children to disengage from school. The educational system needs to adjust to recognize diversity of talent.