The Wednesday Wars

As Christmas and Hanukkah decorations fill the classrooms and school halls, Mr. Guareschi announces that students should begin preparing for the New York State Standardized Achievement Test, coming up in January. However, Mrs. Baker doesn’t seem to be in the holiday spirit; she won’t allow any decorations in her classroom. Meanwhile, Holling dreads his upcoming Shakespeare performance as a fairy, and tries to talk Mr. Goldman out of making him wear the feathered costume to no avail.

One day, Mrs. Baker announces that Mickey Mantle will be signing baseballs at the Baker Sporting Emporium next week, and invites the class to come. She also invites the class to the production of The Tempest on the same night. Holling is mortified that his classmates might see him in his feathery yellow tights, but knowing he’ll get to have a baseball signed by Mickey Mantle after the play eases his anguish.

The night of the play, Holling’s father drops him off at the theater; his parents refuse to miss the Bing Crosby Christmas special on TV, so they won’t stay to watch him. Holling reminds his father to pick him up right after the show so that they can make it to Baker’s Sporting Emporium to see Mickey Mantle. As he peeks out at the crowd, Holling can see Mrs. Baker, Mrs. Bigio, and Danny Hupfer’s parents, but is relieved to find that no one from his class appears to be in the audience. He gives his best performance, and as he takes his final bow, looks down to see Meryl Lee, Mai Thi, and Danny Hupfer in the front row. However, instead of laughing at his tights and feathers, they are clapping and crying, moved by the play. As he looks at Danny, both of them remember—they have to leave to see Mickey Mantle!

Still in his tights and unable to get his baseball out of the locked dressing room, Holling runs outside to wait for his father. He sees Danny Hupfer drive away with his parents, but his father never comes. He gets onto a bus, and thankfully, the bus driver has a brand-new white baseball he can have to get signed. He races into the Emporium just in time to see Mickey Mantle hand Danny Hupfer a signed ball. When Mickey Mantle sees Holling in his costume, he refuses to sign his ball, saying, “I don’t sign baseballs for kids in yellow tights” (92). Seeing the whole thing, Danny gives his own signed ball back to Mantle and calls him a “pied ninny” (92). Both boys are devastated by their hero.

Back at school, lunches in the cafeteria are particularly awful as Mrs. Bigio deals with the grief of losing her husband. She even lashes out at Mai Thi one day, saying, “You shouldn’t even be here” (95), and Holling notices that both of them are trying to hold back tears.

That Wednesday afternoon, Mrs. Baker has a special surprise. She’s arranged for Danny and Doug to stay with Holling, and sends them to the gym with three brand new baseballs. When they reach the gym, they find Joe Pepitone and Horace Clark of the Yankees waiting for them. They spend the afternoon hitting and shagging balls. Pepitone and Clark sign their baseballs and mitts and give them tickets for Opening Day. Doug and Danny each get a baseball hat, and Holling gets Joe Pepitone’s jacket. Back in the classroom, Mrs. Baker assigns Holling The Tragedy of Macbeth for Christmas break, and Doug takes home his prank box from the Coat Room, unable to sabotage Mrs. Baker after she arranged such a wonderful afternoon for them.