The War With Grandpa

The creaking floorboards and dancing shadows continue to haunt Peter. It’s as if a killer is waiting outside his new room. The scene may be funny, but Peter is seriously frightened.

Peter has to tell the reader about a particular word: mope. Jenny mopes a lot. It means hanging around without energy, appearing sad, and acting as if life won’t get better. Jenny mopes when her mom is busy, and since he arrived, Grandpa mopes. He doesn’t want to go to the park or see movies and dine out. He used to take Peter to the park or zoo. Now, he just stares into space.

Peter plays Risk (a board game where the players try to conquer the world) with his two friends, Billy Alston and Steve Mayer. They’re at Steve’s house, and Steve thinks Peter’s situation “stinks,” and Billy believes Grandpa Jack is a “room robber.”

The boys have been friends since kindergarten. Steve wears glasses, reads voraciously, and is a Risk superstar. Billy has countless freckles, but he can do 15 chin-ups (his dad put a chinning bar in his room’s doorway)—Peter can do three and a half chin-ups, while Steve has trouble completing one.

Steve thinks Peter needs to stick up for himself. Billy says he wouldn’t let someone take his room. Steve wonders if Peter is a “doormat” and gets an idea: 1776—the year American leaders declared independence from England. Steve describes the Yankees (New Englanders) fighting the British and brings up the Minutemen—a New England militia whose members could be ready in a minute. The Minutemen used stealth techniques, like shooting from behind rocks and trees.

Zorro, too, kept his identity a secret by wearing a mask. Billy provides the examples of Batman and Robin, and Steve gives Billy some credit. The point Steve wants to make: Peter has to harness “gorilla [guerilla] warfare” (42).

In his new room, Peter wonders: Should he practice “gorilla warfare”? It’s ridiculous and reasonable at the same time. A person shouldn’t shoot at their grandpa. Peter’s grandpa isn’t a Redcoat (a member of the British Army), and he’s not fighting in Lexington or Concord. Then again, Peter’s family took something from him, and they didn’t allow him to fight for it.

Peter goes into his dad’s dingy basement office to use the typewriter. War requires a note: The starter of war must tell their foe what they want and why. A handwritten note won’t do. Peter doesn’t want to sign his name, and if his parents gain possession of the note—the war and Peter are done.

In the declaration, Peter refers to himself as “the Secret Warrior,” and he tells his grandpa he has 24 hours to return what he has stolen. Peter’s proud of the tough tone, but he’s nervous that Grandpa might show it to his mom and dad. He adds a PS: Don’t tell Arthur or Sally.

After dinner, Grandpa sits in front of the TV, and Peter sneaks into his room. He sees the picture of Grandma beside his hairbrush and comb, and then Jenny comes in, wanting to play casino. Peter tells her to go away and stop annoying him. Jenny thinks Peter is acting “totally weird.” Alone, Peter puts the note on top of Grandpa’s pillow. He then retires to his room and throws a tennis ball against the wall “forty million” times.

In the following days, Grandpa doesn’t mention the declaration to Peter. He watches TV with Grandpa, and he says nothing. He goes with Grandpa to the candy store. He then goes with him to buy cigars, which, though it only requires walking two blocks, takes a long time due to Grandpa’s leg.

On the way home, Peter asks Grandpa if there’s something he wants to say to him. Grandpa says he likes being around Peter. Peter then asks if he’s read anything good lately. Grandpa replies, “Just the newspaper […] and there’s so much bad news in it, I try not to pay attention” (51).

The three boys are at Billy’s house, playing Stratomatic Baseball—a game where the players roll dice, the numbers determine the play, and the numbers link to a player’s card. As Billy gets the best players—like Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, and Honus Wagner—Billy inevitably wins when he squares off against Peter and Steve.

Billy thinks Peter is “stupid.” Wars don’t begin with notes. When Japan bombed America’s naval base in Pearl Harbor (December 7, 1941), they didn’t send a note. Peter has to attack—launch a rocket, drop a bomb.

Peter sets his alarm for two in the morning, and the radio turns on with a Beatles song. Peter also writes another note using the Secret Warrior persona. The note reads, “PEOPLE WHO STEAL OTHER PEOPLE’S ROOMS SHOULD NOT SLEEP WELL AT NIGHT. SURRENDER MY ROOM ANDD THE WAR WILL BE OVER” (54).

Using a flashlight, Peter, though he’s not sure he should, sneaks into Grandpa Jack’s room and turns the arrow on his alarm to three in the morning. He then leaves the note on top of the dresser and hurries back to his room.

Peter can’t sleep, and at 2:58 a.m., he hears the alarm; then he hears Grandpa coming up the stairs. Peter pretends to be asleep, but Grandpa doesn’t fall for it. He doesn’t think Peter’s tricks are funny. Peter corrects him: It’s war, not a trick. Grandpa says people don’t go to war against family members—people go to war against enemies, and Grandpa isn’t Peter’s enemy.

Grandpa thought Peter’s declaration of war was a joke. Peter says it’s not a joke because Grandpa took his room, and he wants it back. Grandpa says he didn’t take his room; his parents did. Peter responds that either way, Grandpa gets it. Peter’s stubbornness reminds Grandpa of his wife, Sally. Grandpa is tired. They’ll talk tomorrow. Peter tells Grandpa he loves him, but they’re still at war.