The Unlikely Hero of Room 13B

Adam tucks Sweetie into bed. Adam tells him he is cool for doing real tough-boy stuff and being brave. Adam makes his dad drive him back home even though it’s late, but the house is so messy and overcrowded that he can’t sleep there. He still hasn’t asked his mom about the letter, and it’s clear she received another one.

On Saturday morning, his mom makes him pancakes while he waits for Brenda to pick him up. He’s so much taller than her now when they hug. She says she’s throwing out more trash bags and they’ll soon have their house back, but when Adam offers to help, she says she must finish organizing things herself before he can assist. When Adam tucks Sweetie into bed that night, he lays awake counting until he is sure it is okay to fall asleep. He whispers to Sweetie that his broken arm is Adam’s fault that he will have to do better to keep everyone he loves safe.

At his next individual session, Chuck decides to record them for the first time. Adam has run out of his medication and has been taking Advil PMs every night, but they haven’t been helping much. He tells Chuck he hasn’t been sleeping well and the counting is escalating and becoming more complex, with patterns, groupings, and speeds. Chuck brings up the exposure response and prevention therapy, which he thinks will help Adam recover. Chuck thinks Adam is ready, but Adam doesn’t think he can do it, as he can’t even keep up with the Lists. Adam describes the increasing hostility between his two houses, glossing over his mom’s hoarding. Chuck asks about the letters, believing that Adam’s recovery is tied to them. Adam says he can’t talk about them because they’re supposed to be a secret. He’s already betrayed his mom by telling Group. He lies and says there hasn’t been a new one in a while.

Chuck asks about the threshold issue next. Adam says it’s getting worse, especially at his house. Chuck assures him this is all normal and he’s not crazy. Adam just wants to be cured or at least able to control his compulsions. He’s worried Robyn is further along in recovery than him. Chuck pauses the recorder and tells Adam that she is doing much better. Robyn may be having a hard time accepting that and letting go. Adam wishes he could have a quiet mind for once. They spend the rest of the session going over coping techniques, but Adam immediately forgets them after leaving. Chuck asks if Adam has cried recently, and he hasn’t. Chuck says it might be healthy to cry.

Adam struggles with his rituals when he gets home, but after 40 minutes he gives up. He can’t clear the threshold or get into his house. He goes across the street and knocks on Mrs. Polanski’s door, then asks to use her phone. When Mrs. Polanski moves aside to let him in, he notices her house is the exact same as his own, but his neighbor’s place is clean, and one can walk easily through the halls. Adam is hypnotized by the image of what his house used to look like: welcoming, breathable, and clean. He feels tears in his eyes, but they don’t fall.

He calls his dad and asks to be picked up. His dad worries that Carmella will be upset because it is not his weekend to have Adam over, but Adam suggests telling her Chuck recommended it. His dad says he’ll be right there. Then, Mrs. Polanski gives him a big hug and tells him that we often hurt the ones we love. She adds that sometimes it’s necessary to hurt the people we love because letting go is a part of growing up. Adam thinks she must be right.

Adam calls Robyn while Sweetie sits quietly next to him, listening while pretending to play with toy trucks. Robyn wants to try out for the school play. She then says Adam makes her feel safe. They tell each other how much they love each other and flirtatiously argue about who should hang up first.

Adam sits down to write his List. He writes that Robyn is his true love, that he believes getting fixed is the most important thing in the world, and that he wants to start doing exposure therapy and anything else he needs to get better. He also writes that he needs to do something about his mom; that he believes everybody lies, so deal with it; that his threshold issue is getting seriously worse; that all the superheroes from Group are his friends, and he’s their friend; and that he believes he is unclean and will harm those he loves. When he’s finished writing, Sweetie asks him to play Batman and Robin, but Adam is so tired that he goes right to bed. He has to use all his strength to not cry.

Wonder Woman is missing from Group, and everyone notices because no one else ever misses a session. Green Lantern seems to be getting better, but he mentions that he probably calls Chuck too much. Adam realizes that Chuck has other private patients besides himself and wonders when he finds time to be with family. He thinks, “[He] wasn’t sure why he was getting these blinding little insights, but lately he’d started to notice the world around him a bit more” (244). Adam congratulates Green Lantern on his progress but says he’s scared to start the ODC manual that Chuck is suggesting. He notices Thor looks unbearably sad.

Adam tells the group that his threshold issue is preventing him from going inside his house completely. Wolverine calls him a pussy for leaving his mom while she’s still being stalked and getting those letters. Everyone else glares at Wolverine, but Adam agrees with him. Iron Man interrupts to say that no one is judging him. Snooki agrees, saying, “You are so here for everyone in here, all the time. I don’t think it even registers with you how much you carry. You worry about too many people, like your mom, and your fat friend, and your little brother” (246). Adam is shocked that he’s talked about Ben Stones to them and starts to disagree with her, but Chuck tells him to let the comments sit with him for a bit. Perhaps they will change his perception of the truth.

Chuck changes the subject to explain that Wonder Woman, Connie, will no longer be in Group because she is transferring to a residential program. Everyone starts to worry, but Robyn and Chuck tell them this is the best thing for Connie and her road to recovery. After the session is over, Adam tries to ask Thor if he’s okay. Thor struggles to focus on Adam, and Adam can tell that his medication levels might be off like they were for him. Adam says maybe they can text each other or hang out with his friend Ben together. Thor says he has Adam covered, referring to the letters and Carmella. They walk on together in silence.