The Pumpkin Spice Café

“The smoke had barely cleared from the last time he’d crashed and burned in front of the entire town. He wouldn’t be repeating those mistakes anytime soon. Next time he dated someone, he would keep the whole thing far away from Dream Harbor. Maybe one of those nice long-distance relationships everyone was always talking about. Not that he wanted to date Jeanie. He just wanted coffee.”

As with Jeanie, Gilmore often alludes to Logan’s past early in the novel to reveal the degree to which his past trauma still affects him. The author underscores The Effects of Fear on New Relationships through Logan’s conflicting feelings about Jeanie and his attempts to resist his interest in her.

“He blinked. This woman was not the one he met this morning. This woman didn’t need rescuing. For the first time, he wondered who she had been before she moved here, what she’d done outside of Dream Harbor. He’d been so sure she needed him to help, to fix something for her. A bad habit of his.”

As the novel progresses, Logan’s interest in Jeanie continues to surprise him out of his carefully constructed, self-protective life, catalyzing his personal growth and healing. Here, Logan’s internal thoughts emphasize the ways in which his sense of self-worth is rooted in his ability to solve problems for others—a trait Gilmore’s novel frames as ironic, since he can solve everyone’s problems but his own.

“It was, frankly, adorable. Autumnal, small-town New England at its best. Shouldn’t she feel different here? Away from the frenetic energy of Boston, the traffic, and the crowds? Shouldn’t she be different here? She was damn well going to try.”

This quote highlights Jeanie’s belief that her new life must be tied to a new personality. Her worry that she doesn’t immediately feel different even though she’s left her old life behind highlights The Ongoing Process of Healing After Trauma as a central theme in the novel. The repetition of rhetorical questions demonstrates Jeanie’s nervous energy and her deep determination to change her life.

“Why was she not supposed to date him? Oh, right, she needed to get her life back on track first. Figure out how to live in this tiny, odd town. Transform into the quintessential café owner. Calm and cool, maybe a little quirky. The kind of person who paints purple farm animals in her spare time. Like Aunt Dot. A free spirit just living her dream, following her bliss, or whatever. Then she could date the farmer. Maybe. If his friends said she could.”

Like Logan, Jeanie has conflicting feelings about dating. In this excerpt, Gilmore depicts her thoughts jumping back and forth between to indicate her attraction to Logan and her nervousness around the idea of a romantic connection. Gilmore also suggests a connection in Jeanie’s mind between the idea of the “New Jeanie” and a relationship with Logan. Jeanie believes she needs to transform herself in order to become the kind of person Logan could love, just as she believes she needs to change to fit into Dream Harbor.

“He chuckled, pulling her closer, ignoring every warning bell ringing in alarm at how comfortable this felt. How right. She’d basically just confessed that the only reason she was here was because she was suffering from the shock and trauma of finding her dead boss. Once she was feeling better, what would keep her here then? It was only a matter of time before she realized this small-town life wasn’t for her. Just like Lucy.”

This passage emphasizes Logan’s fears about dating Jeanie. Throughout the novel, he frequently compares her to Lucy, emphasizing the ways in which his past trauma influences his present perspective. Logan’s self-protective assumption that Jeanie will leave Dream Harbor just as Lucy did emphasizes his deep fear of abandonment.

“‘I think maybe you’re not used to being treated right, Jeanie.’ His words landed hard. Damn. Was it true? Had she gotten used to being treated poorly and taken advantage of? The nature of her job had been to make sure Marvin had everything he needed to do his job. But who made sure she had everything she needed? She hadn’t had anyone to lean on in so long. She hadn’t slowed down long enough to lean, even if there had been someone there.”

Logan words in this scene catalyze a shift in Jeanie’s perspective for the rest of the novel, prompting her to think back on the last decade of her life and the ways in which she wants her new life to be different. By the end of the novel, Jeanie moves toward self-acceptance, embracing the reality that she is worthy of love, kindness and respect.

“But what did she have to offer in return? A pile of insecurities about running this café; an undercurrent of anxiety that she’d made the wrong choice moving here; too much chatter, not enough listening—and a tendency to jump to the worst-case scenario in all scenarios. It wasn’t a great list. And it also wasn’t who she wanted to be anymore.”

Jeanie often feels unworthy of Logan, and vice versa. Here Jeanie compares her perceived deficiencies with Logan’s strengths as a means of self-criticism. The final sentence reemphasizes the idea that she needs to change in order to be worthy of her place in Dream Harbor and Logan’s love.

“Hadn’t Jeanie said she’d wanted things to be perfect here? That she had some kind of vision for how she wanted her life to be here? Well, there was no such thing as perfect, and he wasn’t going to be the one caught trying to make Jeanie’s life vision come true. He couldn’t. It wouldn’t work. It never did.”

Despite his feelings for Jeanie, Logan often feels triggered by the impermanence of Jeanie’s life in Dream Harbor. Throughout the novel, Logan tries to talk himself out of his feelings for Jeanie, using his logic and his experiences with Lucy to justify his lack of initiative in the relationship—a practice Gilmore frames as self-protective.

“He was just tired of his pain being town business, however well-meaning they were. Maybe he just wanted to hurt in private this time.”

Logan feels he’s been in the spotlight in Dream Harbor since he was a child. In the wake of Lucy’s rejection, the lack of privacy leaves him feeling exposed and vulnerable rather than supported. Over the course of his arc, Gilmore reveals the ways in which Logan’s mixed feelings about the town reflect his need for healing.

“This wasn’t part of the plan. Was it? Was this New Jeanie? Did she accost men in her entryway? This had never been Jeanie’s style in the past. The men she dated had been…fine. Just fine, perfectly nice, decent kissers, decent at everything else. But she’d never once felt the need to wrap herself up in them. She’d never wanted them to stick around very long, never really cared when things fizzled out. But this, this was different. This was new.”

This passage emphasizes the strength of Jeanie and Logan’s feelings for one another, positioning their connection as a catalyst for personal growth. While Jeanie credits the idea of her new self to her assertiveness with Logan, Gilmore suggests that the potential for a future together gives both Jeanie and Logan the motivation they need to change their lives.

“‘I didn’t want to seem hysterical.’ ‘Damn it, Jeanie. You need to stop with this crap. You are fine. A pain in the ass, but otherwise fine.’ ‘Nothing happened! And the person is gone now. I don’t want to waste town resources […] It was probably nothing.’”

Gilmore includes text conversations between Jeanie and her brother Ben to demonstrate Jeanie’s desire to lean into her new personality and her need to fit in with and please the people of the town. The text conversations also establish the tone of the sibling dynamic between Jeanie and Ben.

“This was good enough for now. Just right, actually. She could keep things with Logan casual and fun. No need to make things too intense, no need to demand things from Logan that he wasn’t ready to give.”

Jeanie’s willingness to settle in her relationship with Logan suggests that she doesn’t yet feel worthy of pursuing what she truly wants. In this way, Gilmore signals Jeanie’s journey toward self-love and acceptance as very much in progress.

“So simple. That one little sentence. But, God, did he want to believe it. She looked like she belonged here, tonight especially. She officially knew more people in this town than he did. He wanted her to belong here. He wanted her ‘I like it here’ to mean: ‘I like you and your smelly old farm and your slightly nutty grandparents. I like you and I’m sticking around.’ He wanted her ‘I like it here’ to give him some kind of guarantee that of course, no one could really give him.”

Throughout the novel, Gilmore builds dramatic tension by creating a dynamic between Jeanie and Logan in which each of them instinctually hesitates to take what the other says at face value. When Jeanie admits she likes being in Dream Harbor, Logan immediately fears that Jeanie doesn’t really mean it and will eventually leave him. His thoughts turn to Lucy, indicating the impact of his previous heartbreak on his present perspective.

“He jumped away from her, like he might catch fire if he touched her. He dropped his hands from her body, like he couldn’t bear the thought of anyone knowing what they’d been up to these past few weeks. And suddenly, this secret relationship was less fun.”

Logan’s actions show Jeanie a different side of their secret relationship and how she does not feel entirely comfortable about keeping things between them. Jeanie’s worries about their relationship change repeatedly throughout the novel, emphasizing her own fears about not knowing who she is or what she wants.

“She wasn’t going to sell. She didn’t want that. She liked running the café. Even though she still hadn’t solved the mystery of who was messing with her. And even though running her own business was just as stressful, if not more so, than being Marvin’s assistant. At least now all her hard work was for her. For her dream. For her life. She wasn’t ready to give up on that yet.”

This excerpt emphasizes the difference between Jeanie’s old life and her life in Dream Harbor. Unlike the new version of herself she’s trying to cultivate, the real change that has occurred in her life since moving is evidenced by the satisfaction and sense of fulfillment she now takes from her work.

“Logan had worked beside her all morning, occasionally brushing his arm against hers or giving her a slow secret smile. It wasn’t exactly a proclamation of his intentions in front of the whole town, but she didn’t want that anyway. The fact that he was here beside her was enough. More than enough.”

As Jeanie and Logan’s individual arcs progress, they start to feel more comfortable and at ease in their romantic relationship, building toward the moment when they take their relationship public. As Logan begins to show he is not afraid of people knowing they are together, he reveals more of himself and his past to Jeanie, letting go of his fear and building trust between them.

“She’d wanted this, hadn’t she? She’d wanted Logan to choose her for real. But somehow, she’d conveniently forgotten that she had to get her shit together, too. She shook her head like she could rid herself of these damn doubts.”

Throughout the novel, Jeanie’s fears about her relationship with Logan change and grow. Just after she feels calmed by Logan’s ability to show affection in front of others, Jeanie becomes worried that she is not worthy of him. Over the course of the novel, Jeanie must learn to overcome these fears in order to trust herself and Logan.

“Logan forced himself to ignore the flash of anxiety he felt at the sight of the still-packed boxes in Jeanie’s room. A mirror leaned against one wall, still not hung. The lamp by her bed sat on top of a large cardboard box. The bed was covered in a random assortment of pillows and blankets. The windows had blinds but no curtains. The walls had no pictures, no art. Temporary. Unsettled. This room screamed impermanence.”

The physical evidence of Jeanie’s life in Dream Harbor as impermanent triggers Logan’s fear of abandonment. Logan interprets the unpacked boxes and lack of furniture as evidence that Jeanie wants to leave, rather than a manifestation of her own fears and insecurities.

“This is her real life! Why would she be killing herself to keep the café open all week—even though they’re crazy short-staffed—if she was leaving? Why would she be joining the book club and signing up for baking classes, if she didn’t like it here? Why would she be falling in love with you, if she didn’t plan on staying?”

Throughout Logan’s relationship with Jeanie, he tries to rationalize all the reasons she might want to leave. Gilmore reiterates the importance of friendship in Logan’s life through a series of rhetorical questions that Hazel asks to demonstrate the ways in which Logan’s perspective is misguided. In this chapter, Hazel and Annie have to be especially blunt with Logan about how he is ruining his own relationship in order for him to understand because he is so manipulated by his own fears.

“Abandonment issues. It sounded complicated, but it was simple. He was afraid. Afraid of Jeanie leaving. Afraid of failing again. Afraid of getting hurt. And he’d let that fear guide every interaction he’d had with Jeanie. It made him want to deny his attraction to her. It made him want to hide what was going on between them. And it made him freak out and jump to conclusions instead of talking to her.”

Gilmore demonstrates the importance of friendship in Logan’s arc through Annie and Hazel’s explicit identification of his abandonment issues—a conversation that leads Logan to think about this idea for the first time. Though it takes Logan the majority of the novel to move toward healing, his friends help him break down the ways in which his past trauma is affecting his relationship with Jeanie.

“If there was one thing Jeanie had figured out over the last week, it was that she belonged here in Dream Harbor. She liked being here and she liked herself here. She still hadn’t figured out exactly who New Jeanie was, but she knew she didn’t allow men, not even the sexy-farmer variety, to toss her aside like that.”

Despite feeling like she doesn’t belong throughout most of the novel, here Jeanie acknowledges that only she can decide where she belongs. Additionally, Jeanie discovers that she doesn’t need to change or even know exactly who she is in order to be happy, showing how she is finally ready to put herself first.

“Look, Logan. I can’t be what you want. […] I tried. I thought I wanted to be this new person, that I could be this new person. And I am a little bit, but I’m also still the old me. I’m kind of a mess, and it’ll probably take me several months to unpack; and I overreact and overthink. I tried to be a sunshine-y ball of quirky calmness, some archetype of the perfect small-town café owner. I tried to be like Dot. But I’m not. I’m just me, and I like running this café. My café.”

As Jeanie breaks down what she has learned about becoming a new person, she recognizes she doesn’t need to be someone else in order to be loved or worthy of happiness. Ultimately Jeanie realizes that she shouldn’t pretend to be someone she’s not for anyone, including herself.

“Jeanie breathed in memories of her childhood visits here. The Pumpkin Spice Café and weekends with Dot used to mean freedom and fun and endless cups of cinnamon-spiced hot chocolate. It meant different things to her now. It was belonging, and satisfying work, and friends just a few steps away”

Throughout much of the novel, Jeanie sees Dream Harbor and The Pumpkin Spice Café through the idealized lens of her childhood. Over the course of the novel, she discovers she can both change and stay the same, just as Dream Harbor does. With her combined memories and experiences in the café, Jeanie can honor the past while still looking toward the future.