The People We Keep

April stays at Ethan’s house and realizes that Ethan is just as broken by romance as she is. His recent breakup with Ivan has left him vulnerable and needy. The next day, Robert cooks breakfast for her and Ethan, and Ethan insists on learning about April’s pre-gig rituals. He is disappointed to hear that she doesn’t have any and insists on changing that. He takes April to the university where he teaches technical theater and design and raises her in a moon so that she can sing in front of him. April sings a song she never plays at her shows, though the vulnerability makes her uncomfortable: “[I]t feels like too much to share” (259). The experience helps them bond and leaves April wondering what life could have been like if she attended college.

April performs at Robert’s restaurant to a very small and reserved crowd. April believes that this will mean no more gigs, but Robert assures her that her performance helped him sell more to his customers and asks if she will perform again. April agrees and realizes that for the first time in quite a while she really enjoyed playing for people.

April stays in Asheville and as she performs more often, the crowds grow in size. One morning, she wakes to find Ethan filling out applications. He tells her that they are for possible jobs, as he feels it is time to move on after his breakup. As April looks over the schools he’s considering working for, she spots and suggests Ithaca College.

On what would have been Ethan’s three-year anniversary with Ivan, April decides to cook him dinner to celebrate having sent out all of his job applications. When she returns home with the food, she finds Ivan assaulting Ethan. April throws a jar of sauce at Ivan, who in turn attacks her. He soon leaves, but Ethan is hurt and refuses to go to the hospital. He tells April that the police won’t care about the attack because he and Ivan are gay.

Robert comes to help April watch over Ethan. While Ethan sleeps, Robert tells April about Rodney, a former partner with whom Ethan planned to adopt a child: “Ethan and Rodney were like the romance you always dreamed you could have” (273). However, Rodney died in a car accident four years prior. Ethan witnessed the accident, and when he tried to see Rodney in the hospital, he was turned away “because he wasn’t immediate family” (273). Rodney died alone, and Ethan lost not only him but also the girl they planned to adopt. Ethan tried to move on, but Ivan took advantage of his vulnerable state. April comforts Robert as he explains that he wishes he had stopped Ethan from becoming involved with Ivan but feared pushing Ethan away.

Robert and April take turns spending time with Ethan. April and Ethan watch soap operas, and Ethan tells April about his abusive relationship with Ivan: “There were tiny little parts of a good person and I miss having hope that those parts would take over” (276). April helps Ethan overcome his pain by keeping him company and putting a towel over the mirror so he won’t have to see the bruises Ivan gave him.

One night, April covers for a band that canceled on Robert, leaving Ethan home alone for the first time since the attack. After the show, April helps Robert clean up and close the bar. After they finish, they kiss. Some drunk people at the window briefly harass them, but Robert soon turns off the lights and rejoins April at the bar.

On any nights that April has free, she and Ethan hang out together, watching movies and listening to music. One night, as they dance, Ethan tells April, “You, here, makes my whole life better” (279). April is overcome with emotion and the two open up completely to each other. Ethan tells her about Rodney and the little girl they would have adopted, Luz. April in turn explains her home situation, her departure from Ithaca, and her encounters with Ray and Justin.

Ethan invites April to the Pride Ball and she agrees to be his date. He also reveals that he knows about April and Robert and says that Robert has strong feelings for her.

April goes to Robert’s house for dinner and spends the night. She falls for Robert and finds herself experiencing new feelings. She is comforted by his assuredness and wants to “exist” with him.

Ethan and April prepare for the Pride Ball. April struggles to get into her dress and realizes that she has been eating three square meals a day for the first time in a long time. April never got to go to prom and revels in the experience. She and Ethan dress as Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers and nearly win a prize for having the best costumes. April asserts that it’s “the best night [she’s] ever had” (288).

April begins waking up tired every morning and one day throws up at breakfast. Robert is confused until Ethan announces, “She’s pregnant, you dope” (289). This hadn’t occurred to April either, but Robert is immediately supportive.

Ethan has job offers from Oberlin, DePaul, and Ithaca but won’t leave Asheville because of April and the baby. He is struggling, though, and April knows he deserves to start over. When he ran into Ivan the week prior, he had a panic attack and hid in the stock room. He was accused of shoplifting and Robert had to get him. April knows it is selfish to want him to stay with her, but she does.

Robert schedules an ultrasound and accompanies April to the doctor. The two see the baby for the first time and find out that it is healthy. The doctor then asks Robert to step out and has a conversation with April. She tells April that the baby is eight weeks old, meaning that the baby is Justin’s. April and Robert go home, but April keeps the ultrasound picture to herself, knowing that Ethan, who has been reading about pregnancies, would be able to figure out that the baby isn’t Robert’s.

April becomes increasingly anxious about what will happen if Robert and Ethan find out that the baby is Justin’s; she also worries that she will be an inadequate parent like her own mother and father. Ethan reassures her regarding the latter concern, telling her, “If you’re in survival mode you can keep problems buried” (297). April recognizes this but can’t overcome her anxiety, and she laments losing her prior candor with Ethan.

April is now four and a half months pregnant, although Robert and Ethan think she only three and a half months along. Robert is excited and has begun preparing a nursery and even compiling a list of things he wants to do with the child. Ethan thinks that the baby is a girl, but April believes the baby will be a boy. She wants to name him Max, Robert wants to name him Rierdan, and Ethan wants to name him Ethan. April considers calling Justin or driving to Binghamton to tell him.

April visits the doctor again, alone this time, and finds out that the baby is indeed a boy. The next morning, Robert proposes and April says yes.

April leaves Asheville, taking only her guitar and some clothes. She leaves a note for Ethan explaining everything as well as the ring that Robert gave her. As she leaves Ethan’s house, she sees the abstract painting he has been working on for what it is: her. The sight tempts her to stay, but she can’t bring herself to deceive Ethan and Robert any longer.