The Light We Lost

Gabe rushes Lucy home and pulls her into bed immediately. When Gabe tells Lucy that “you make me feel invincible” (68), she realizes that he is the one who has defined the meaning of love for her.

Lucy reflects on how perfect that day was, realizing she had forgotten that Gabe was unhappy with his life and ready to leave to pursue his dream.

Gabe and Lucy attend the Daytime Emmys together. It Takes a Galaxy wins its category, and Lucy goes on the stage with the other producers. Lucy and Gabe attend the after party together. As Gabe mingles with the other wives and boyfriends, Lucy notices he is distracted.

At home, Gabe tells Lucy that he will be leaving in three weeks. The Associated Press has hired him to go to Iraq for an article on the troops. The job lasts for two months, but if they like his photographs, it will be much longer. Lucy is angry that he did not tell her sooner, as this has been in talks for weeks. But this is Gabe’s dream, and he wants to go. After arguing for a while Lucy insists they go to sleep, her in the bed and him on the couch. Neither sleep, and eventually Gabe comes to Lucy and asks her to go with him. However, she would have to give up her career. Lucy feels that is unfair. Eventually, they go to sleep. When Lucy wakes the next morning, Gabe admits that she cannot go with him. He tells her she would be better off without him. He packs his things over a week and leaves to spend time with his mother before going to Iraq.

Lucy is miserable in Gabe’s absence. She begins drinking to get through the nights. After six weeks, Kate helps her sublet the apartment and find a new place in Brooklyn. Over the summer, she takes out a share in a house in the Hamptons with friends, including Alexis, and emails Gabe, but she does not initially receive a response. Much later, he responds with a quick email conveying no real meaning. She stashes it away in a folder named “disaster.”

Lucy gets a call from her brother, Jayson, who attempts to comfort her broken heart with analogies born out of science experiments. He tells her that his relationship with his college girlfriend was like the gummy bear experiment, in which gummy bears explode when added to potassium chlorate. But his relationship with his current girlfriend, Vanessa, is more like the Old Nassau experiment in which two clear solutions are mixed together and nothing happens. But when a third solution is added, the liquids first turn orange and then black. He explains the reason his relationship with Vanessa has lasted longer is because it deepens with time, but his relationship with his college girlfriend ended because it was too volatile.

Lucy spends a lot of time with her friends and family that summer, in an attempt to keep her mind off Gabe. However, Lucy knows all she needs is time.

Lucy meets Darren Maxwell the last weekend of her share in the Hamptons. She wakes early one morning to find him sleeping on the couch, likely a stray Alexis’s friend Sabrina brought home. Darren wakes, and Lucy shares a cup of coffee with him. Lucy excuses herself to go get ready for the beach, staying in the room until Darren leaves.

Darren reaches out to Lucy via social media the following day, and they talk about the coffee she made. He invites her to a chocolate and coffee pairing event, and she agrees to go. It feels safe and unlike a date, so Lucy feels comfortable. When he asks her out to dinner a week later, she agrees to go because Darren is funny and helps her forget Gabe.

Darren insists on picking Lucy up for their dinner date. When he shows up in a suit, she feels underdressed, but Darren explains he came straight from work. He assures her she looks nice, making her laugh.

Darren walks Lucy home from dinner and gives her a tour of her neighborhood in a fake accent that makes her laugh. When they arrive at her building, she worries he will want to kiss her, but instead he kisses her forehead. He asks if he can call her the next day, and she agrees.

Lucy confronts Alexis, wondering what she told Darren about Lucy. Alexis claims that Sabrina told Darren that Lucy was “broken” from her breakup with Gabe. She claims Darren said he would put her back together again. Alexis urges Lucy to give Darren a chance.

Darren and Lucy continue to see each other, but he does not attempt to kiss her again. As Halloween approaches, Darren asks Lucy to attend a party with him. They discuss their costumes and, after throwing out lots of ideas, decide to go as a Freudian slip. Lucy will wear a slip with Freudian written on it, and Darren will dress as Dr. Freud. On the day of the party, Darren arrives at Lucy’s with pizza. They attend the party, and Lucy notices Darren constantly watching for her the way she used to watch Gabe. As they prepare to leave, Lucy meets Darren’s friend, Gavin, who refers to her as a “paper doll” (102). Darren walks Lucy home, and because she senses something has changed between them, she asks him to kiss her. Lucy notes the differences between Darren and Gabe’s kisses. Though not ready to sleep with him, she is content to keep seeing him.

Lucy and Darren begin running together. She is impressed when Darren paces himself to her pace and not his own. When she tires, Darren walks beside her. Gabe would have outrun Lucy and gone off without her if she stopped. They make love for the first time that day. Darren is willing to take guidance from Lucy, and she appreciates that. She is surprised she does not break when Gabe crosses her mind.

Lucy debates whether or not to invite Darren to attend her brother’s wedding with her. She tells Kate she is worried that it is too early in their relationship. Kate says that they will have a good time, so she should invite him. Ultimately, Lucy does invite Darren, and he shows her a flyer for a couple’s dance class. Lucy and Darren have a great time taking the class even though they are not good dancers. They struggle through a few dances at the wedding, and Lucy catches her heel on the hem of her dress. Lucy’s uncle asks if she and Darren will marry next, and the thought sends Lucy into a small panic. She is not sure if she is the right woman for Darren.