The Last Kids on Earth

It’s before sunrise. Jack and June return to the classroom where the others should be asleep. But everyone’s awake now, and Quint is in a colossally bad mood. He didn’t sleep much, and worse, he tells Jack to look out the window: The zombies have surrounded Big Mama, and Blarg is prowling with its eyes on the school. June asks why Blarg is there and Jack tells her about their growing rivalry. She is annoyed at Jack for attracting Blarg’s anger. Jack is frustrated about Blarg’s constant presence and yells out to it. Blarg hears them but can’t see, and begins to hunt in the area. While searching, Blarg trips on a car. Ever-observant, Quint notices this and goes into his 3-ring-binder notes.

He digs up Jack’s photos. One is a close-up of Blarg’s eyes, and Quint notices that Blarg’s pupils are pale and transparent, which indicates “his low-light vision is poor” (183). Blarg is a day hunter, so can’t see in the dark. With the morning sun rising, they must act quickly in order to escape and survive without Blarg noticing. Jack, sensing they are trapped and without proper supplies, suddenly feels like saving June might’ve been a mistake. Feeling like this could be their end, June tells him it is an opportunity to prove his heroics. He gathers himself and declares he has an idea. They must gather whatever supplies for armor and weapons they can salvage.

As they rummage, Quint tells Jack he is embarrassed and wants to help out in the fight so that he doesn’t seem useless in front of June. Jack at first gets defensive and says that June is “his,” but Quint merely clarifies that he wants to help them and not stand in the back like usual while a girl is there. Jack understands and gives Quint a pep talk. Quint goes off into a room, then reappears with a renewed confidence, revealing his new scientific weapons: “smoke flash capsules,” “stink bombs,” and “acid eye blast capsules,” which he concocted in the school’s lab (188). He also retrieved Jack’s wrist-rocket slingshot from a desk in which a teacher had previously confiscated it. They all gather together with their gear, and look at themselves in the mirror. They look like a ragtag gang of misfits wearing football helmets, hockey pads, and wielding their makeshift weapons. Jack proudly proclaims that they are a “TEAM!” (190).

The team assembles outside and begins to creep towards Big Mama. It’s dark, and Jack gives a pep talk before they dash into battle against the zombie swarm. They smash their way to the vehicle and get in. But when Jack starts the car, the high beams pierce through the dawn’s darkness and straight into Blarg’s eyes. Blarg, angry, realizes the kids are attempting to escape. Knowing that “heroes GOTTA have back up plans,” Jack remembers that he has light-up sneakers (197). He gets out and begins dancing so that his shoes light up and he can distract Blarg. The team calls for Jack but he tells them to escape to the tree house.

Before leaving, Quint gives Jack his science explosives as additional ammunition to fight Blarg. Jack runs off and the team gets away as Blarg focuses on Jack. Jack knows Blarg will most likely eat him, but he is glad he could help his friends make it out safely. Finally, he stops and turns around to face Blarg. He uses his wrist rocket slingshot to shoot “Acid Eye Blast” into Blarg’s face—and he hits his target. Blarg is in pain and even angrier than before (199). Then, Jack hears another monster approaching and knows he is in trouble. He turns around to face his second opponent.

Instead of a villain, Jack turns to find that his massive dog, Rover, has entered the battle to save him. Thankful, Jack hops on and they get away. They dash past Blarg and through an obstacle course of nearby dozers. With Rover’s speed, they catch up to Big Mama a few blocks away from the tree house. The team is shocked—but thrilled—to see Jack. Quint activates the tree house’s defenses with the push of a button on a control and a catapult launches a big screen TV at the oncoming Blarg’s head. The kids reach the fortress safely and scramble inside to prepare for battle.

Blarg is quickly approaching and wrecking the neighborhood in anger. Quint panics, and June thinks they should retreat, but Jack refuses. For the first time he has found a home and a group of friends that he can trust, and he refuses to let Blarg destroy his new life. They decide to fight back, launching “Juice Grenades” with acid that Quint has concocted (212). They unleash the second catapult: a blast of junk and scraps like bricks and bicycle seats. Everything hits Blarg but it continues its advances. June distracts Blarg by swinging onto the roof of the house, then Rover attacks, but Blarg quickly hurls Rover aside. Things are looking bad. Jack feels defeated seeing his friends and treehouse in shambles. Then, Dirk arrives with an arsenal of secret weapons that Quint has made. He unleashes on Blarg with “razor Frisbees” and “the explosive football launcher” (217). The attack fazes Blarg and it slips into the treehouse’s defensive moat, cracking one of its ankles from the off-balance pressure. Jack springs into action and tells Quint to throw him his Slicer. Jack catches it mid-air and slams the sharp point through Blarg’s skull.

Jack recovers from the exhaustion of battle by lying on top of the dead Blarg. June comes to congratulate him, and the others tell him he needs to pick up the mess. Jack feels at home with his new family. They’ve won the battle celebrate with each other. Jack has completed the “ULTIMATE Feat of Apocalyptic Success” (224) and hopes his new team of adolescents can grow into an army to fight evil. There is still no secret handshake, but Jack alludes to a sequel in which they will finally have one to share with more members.