The Imaginary Invalid

Béralde asks Argan how he liked the performance, pronouncing it “better than pumping things up your bottom, eh?” (69) He wants to talk to Argan, but Argan exclaims that he needs to tend to something. As he starts to rush off, Toinette reminds him that he needs his cane to walk. Alone, Toinette reminds Béralde to speak on Angélique’s behalf, and Béralde reassures her that he will do anything to help her. They scheme that it might help if they can get a doctor on their side, since Argan believes in doctors. When Argan returns, Béralde tells him that he wants to have a logical conversation. He points out the absurdity of a wealthy man’s sending his daughters to a convent, insinuating that Béline simply wants his daughters out of the way. This raises Argan’s hackles, so Béralde shifts his focus. He reminds Argan that Angélique is the one getting married; therefore, she ought to have a say in who she marries. But Argan insists, “In my family, I’ll only tolerate people I need” (71), adding that perhaps he will marry Louison off to an apothecary. Béralde questions Argan’s obsession with doctors, asserting that Argan is completely healthy. Additionally, he thinks doctors are all “quacks,” as no human is meant to have the ability to cure another; doctors merely spout jargon and create fear. Some doctors “are stupid enough to believe” (73) in what they’re doing, and some know that they are scam artists. Dr. Purgeon is in the first category. Sick people should do nothing but rest, as “most people die of cures, not illnesses” (74).

Argan scoffs at Béralde for thinking that he’s smarter than all the doctors. Béralde mentions that there’s a new play by Molière that broaches the subject of medicine, and Argan is dismissive, calling Molière “one of those arty-farty people [with] no business making fun of medicine” (75). Furthermore, if Argan were a doctor, he would let Molière wither and die if he came down with an ailment for having the audacity to mock the practice of medicine. Béralde returns to the subject of Angélique, reiterating that a woman should be allowed to choose her own husband because it’s her life. Mr. Florid enters to give Argan an enema, and Béralde, irked, challenges Argan to spend “one single moment without an enema or a sedative or some damn pill” (76). Argan tells Mr. Florid to postpone the enema, and Mr. Florid scolds him before exiting. Dr. Purgeon enters, insulted that Argan dismissed his treatment. Argan blames his brother and begs Dr. Purgeon to give him his enema. The doctor is so offended that he exclaims that he will have nothing to do with Argan, cursing him with the hope that without his treatments, Argan’s condition will deteriorate until he dies. Dr. Purgeon exits, and Argan panics, announcing, “I’ve got less than a week to live, he said” (81). Béralde reassures him that Dr. Purgeon doesn’t have godlike powers to end his life, but Argan worries because Dr. Purgeon knows his body better than anyone else does.

Toinette enters and announces the arrival of another doctor to see Argan, commenting that the doctor looks strangely like her. Toinette exits and reenters, disguised as a doctor. She offers a variety of treatments, which Argan welcomes gladly. He is amazed at how much the doctor looks like Toinette. She excuses herself for a moment, coming back almost immediately as Toinette. Argan expresses wonder at how much Toinette resembles the doctor, but Toinette tells him dismissively that she is busy and uninterested in the doctor. She exits and returns again as the doctor, claiming that she came to see Argan because he is an “incredibly famous invalid” (84). Additionally, as Argan marvels at her youth, she insists that she is 90 years old, a traveling doctor who is interested only in serious illnesses. She asks about Argan’s ailments and diagnoses, ridiculing every recommendation and treatment that Dr. Purgeon gave him. She suggests rich foods and dairy to thicken his blood, adding that he ought to amputate his arm and have his right eye surgically removed. Argan is hesitant toward amputation, but Toinette announces that she needs to leave, as she is meeting to discuss what she might have done differently for a patient who died. She exits, and Argan comments that he isn’t sure about removing an arm and an eye.

Toinette enters as herself, complaining that the doctor tried to take her pulse and is a dirty old man. Béralde brings up Angélique once again, insinuating that Béline is behind Argan’s insistence upon sending her to a convent. Toinette interjects that Béline shows sincere love for Argan and suggests that he elicit a demonstration of proof of his wife’s love by pretending to be dead. When Béline enters, Toinette tells her that Argan died. Béline rejoices, ecstatic to be rid of him. Argan reveals that he is alive and berates her as she exits. Toinette suggests that Argan play the same trick on Angélique. He does, but Angélique is beside herself with grief to hear that her father is dead. Cléante enters and comforts her, explaining that he came to introduce himself properly and try to convince Argan to let him marry her. Angélique resolves to follow her father’s wishes and enter a convent. Moved by Angélique’s devotion, Argan surprises them by speaking. He agrees to allow the two to marry, on the condition that Cléante become a doctor. Gratefully, Cléante agrees. Béralde suggests that Argan simply become a doctor himself, reassuring him that he’ll know what he needs to know as soon as he puts on the robe. Béralde confides to Angélique that he knows a troupe of actors nearby who are rehearsing a scene in which the ceremony to become a doctor is performed. He calls it “innocent fun” and mentions that “it’s carnival time” (96). Angélique agrees.