The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want

Lyubomirsky emphasizes the significance of Happiness Activity No. 10, which is committing to meaningful life goals. She starts by highlighting the idea that people who actively pursue personally significant goals tend to be happier than those who lack strong aspirations. She quotes Australian Psychiatrist W. Béran Wolfe, who observed that happy individuals often engage in purposeful activities such as building, creating, educating, or exploring.

Lyubomirsky argues that the pursuit of goals is distinct from other happiness activities discussed in the book because everyone has goals, regardless of their current level of happiness. She then explores the various benefits of committed goal pursuit. For example, pursuing goals provides individuals with a sense of purpose and direction in life. Meaningful goal pursuit also boosts self-esteem and confidence. Moreover, goals add structure and meaning to daily life, as they generate responsibilities, deadlines, and opportunities for skill development. Pursuing goals helps individuals master the skill of time management, and commitment to goals can aid in coping with life’s challenges.

Lyubomirsky then discusses the types of goals that are more likely to lead to happiness. She emphasizes the importance of pursuing intrinsic goals (i.e., goals that are personally rewarding), citing psychological studies to support the idea that people who prioritize intrinsic goals tend to obtain more satisfaction and pleasure from their pursuits. Moreover, the author discusses the research conducted by Ken Sheldon and Andrew Elliot on self-determined or authentic goals. Their studies found that people are happier, healthier, and more hardworking when they pursue goals that align with their core interests and values.

Lyubomirsky further asserts that engaging in new activities and experiences that align with one’s interests and values can provide a steady stream of positive feelings and happiness. Lyubomirsky and Ken Sheldon conducted a field study to compare the effects of circumstantial changes (e.g., moving to a nicer apartment) and activity changes (e.g., pursuing new activities) on happiness. Their study found that while both types of changes initially made participants happier, only activity changes continued to have a positive impact on happiness over time. This specific research underscores the idea that sustained pursuit of activity-based goals can lead to lasting happiness.

Lyubomirsky advises individuals to discern between intrinsically and extrinsically motivated goals. She recommends an exercise that asks individuals to reflect on the legacy they want to leave behind. Envisioning how one wishes to be remembered by future generations and identifying core values and accomplishments can clarify meaningful life goals.

Lyubomirsky also advocates for flexibility in goal pursuit, highlighting the ability to adapt goals in response to obstacles, constraints, or newfound opportunities. Lastly, she cautions against undermining intrinsic motivation; external rewards, she notes, can diminish enjoyment of activities that were once naturally fulfilling.

Lyubomirsky discusses strategies that may initially seem unrelated to happiness but can significantly contribute to it. These strategies include practicing religion and spirituality, as well as sanctifying ordinary aspects of life. Despite the challenge of empirically studying spirituality and religion, research suggests that religious or otherwise spiritual individuals tend to be happier, healthier, and better at coping with traumas. The benefits may arise from the social support within religious communities and the sense of purpose and meaning that faith provides.

Lyubomirsky highlights that the relationship with God or a higher power is a source of comfort and self-esteem for many, offering a sense of security and peace. Belief in divine intervention can help individuals find meaning even in the face of adversity. For example, she mentions a study where individuals who found strength and comfort in their religious faith were almost three times more likely to be alive six months after serious cardiac surgery. The chapter also emphasizes the importance of personal connection with spirituality and religion, as well as the benefits of meditative prayer.

The chapter discusses the positive emotions associated with religion and spirituality. Lyubomirsky mentions that religious and spiritual individuals tend to be more forgiving, according to numerous studies. This attribute contributes to their overall happiness. She refers to the example of parents who have lost a baby to sudden infant death syndrome coping better when attending religious services frequently and considering religion important. This effect is attributed to the greater social support within religious communities.

However, Lyubomirsky acknowledges that the effectiveness of these practices depends on individual openness and commitment, linked to the theme of Personal Agency in Happiness. Lyubomirsky also refers to the potential downsides of religion, such as guilt, repressed emotions, and conflicts within religious congregations. Despite these challenges, harnessing the benefits of faith has the potential to improve happiness and overall well-being.

As Happiness Activity No. 12, Lyubomirsky discusses the benefits of meditation and physical activity for happiness and well-being. She highlights that meditation, which is particularly rooted in Eastern religions like Buddhism, offers a contemplative practice to achieve awareness and detachment. Lyubomirsky emphasizes that meditation involves being nonjudgmental, patient, trusting, open, and letting go of rumination. Many studies support the positive effects of meditation, such as reducing stress, improving cognitive abilities, and enhancing physical health.

Moving on to physical activity, Lyubomirsky cites a study that shows how exercise can effectively alleviate depression, similar to antidepressant medication. She lists various psychological and physiological explanations for why physical activity leads to happiness, including increased self-esteem, the potential for experiencing a state of flow, and the release of positive emotions. She also notes that regular exercise can improve physical fitness, leading to greater well-being.

Additionally, Lyubomirsky touches on the concept of using facial expressions to influence emotions, suggesting that practicing facial expressions associated with happiness can actually make a person feel happier. She discusses how permanent facial expressions, developed over time, can even shape a person’s emotional experiences.