The Golden Notebook

While Tommy seems to accept the fact of his blindness with equanimity, Anna begins to suspect that this is only because Tommy now has the upper hand. That is, the adults in his life now cater to his wishes, for fear of his state of mind as much as in support of helping him adjust to blindness. Even Molly admits this: “‘He enjoys it.’ […] ‘He’s happy, Anna.’ ‘Yes.’ Now it was out at last, they both felt easier” (378). Later, Anna is even blunter about the situation when talking with Richard. She believes that “Tommy’s set everything up so that he has his mother in the house, not next to him, but close. As his prisoner” (385). Tommy is punishing his mother—punishing them all—for the defects of his upbringing, for the despair that brought him to this. Now, he wrests control from the chaos. Anna’s suggestion that Tommy and Marion go abroad for a time is in defense of her friend, in dislike of Tommy’s motivations.

Richard, for his part, becomes angry and abusive the more he loses control. Anna reminds him that “You should be talking to Tommy. Surely you can see that he’s the key to everything” (386). For her trouble, she bears the brunt of Richard’s invective: He excoriates Marion for leaving him, emotionally speaking, even though he has been having affairs throughout their marriage. Anna clearly sees that Richard’s vanity has been wounded. When he blocks her exit from his office, it is tantamount to harassment, and there is a veiled sexual threat in it.

This leads to a crisis of confidence in Anna that causes both the panic attack on the underground and an emotional crisis after the confrontation with her tenants. She becomes overwhelmed by the crowded conditions on the train, the jostling bodies bumping up against her. She can only come back to herself by calling upon her own identity: “Anna, Anna, I am Anna, she kept repeating” (389). She will not allow herself to be lost in the troubles—or demands—of others. This crisis is also bound up with her uneasy relationship with her tenants. Her thoughts betray an outdated and offensive view of relationships between members of the same sex: Anna believes that Ivor and Ronnie are potentially negative influences on Janet; she even wonders if Janet might be “corrupted” by their presence (393). Earlier, her views on sexuality, as expressed in the black notebook, are more tolerant. This shift seems to have been precipitated by a misguided sense of protectiveness and a lack of cohesion in her own identity: “In my home I can’t move freely because of these two. I’m on the defensive all the time, in my own flat” (394).

Part of her crisis of confidence also has to do with her writing, or lack thereof. The inspiration has gone from her life, both politically and personally. Her days with the Party are past; her affair with Michael is over: “Yes; that’s what’s wrong with me—I’m dry. I’m empty. I’ve got to touch some source somewhere or….” (394). Her resources have been depleted. Later, she makes a metaphor of the situation: “She lay, frightened, and again the words came into her head: the spring has gone dry. And with the words, came the image: she saw a dry well, a cracked opening into the earth that was all dust” (407). This imagery invokes a desiccated land, devoid of fertility and inspiration—a place (and a person) parched by war and its aftermath. It is reminiscent of T. S. Eliot’s epic poem, The Waste Land, with its invocations of water and its fears of “Death by Water,” influenced by the destruction of World War I. Anna tells herself, “I must dream of water” (407).

The conversation with Marion also saps Anna’s strength. Marion’s forays into politics are as offensive as Anna’s earlier views on sexuality. For example, Marion calls one of the leaders of the African movements for independence a “poor thing” (400). Her imperial white privilege, laden with sloganeering (401), undermines any serious commitment to political change, and her condescension leaves Anna cold. The scene also marks a momentous stage of history: Not only has everything changed because of the war, but everything continues to change in its aftermath. Anna (and Marion, though with little understanding) is witness to the forces that are leading to the end of the British Empire. India has already gained self-rule, though at a horrific cost, and by the end of the 1960s, many former imperial colonies in Africa and beyond will no longer be a part of the fading empire.