50 pages • 1 hour read
Erin Entrada KellyThe First State of Being
Fiction | Novel | Middle Grade | Published in 2022A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Themes
The Relationship Between Guilt and Grief
For both Michael and Ridge, guilt and grief are closely intertwined throughout the novel. Michael longs to protect his loved ones from all possible harm, and his belief that he should be able to do so leads him to blame himself whenever things go wrong. For instance, Michael blames himself for his mother losing her job at the Gibsons’ store because she stayed home to care for him when he was ill (100). Although many adults he trusts and looks up to (e.g., Mr. Mosley) tell him otherwise, Michael continues to fixate on his perceived guilt and look for ways to make amends for much of the book. He fixates on the coming Y2K disaster, keeping a stash of stolen goods meant to support him and his mother during the rioting and dystopian chaos he believes will follow the turning of the century. For Michael, the predicted Y2K bug symbolizes all the unpredictability of the future, and the stash—full of his mother’s favorite foods—represents his hope that he can keep her safe no matter what happens. He even calculates how much food his birthday shoes could buy, thereby denying his own desires. Michael essentially embodies Ridge’s own fear that mistakes mean one doesn’t deserve good things.
Michael’s guilt intensifies after meeting Ridge: He wants information about Y2K both to ease his anxiety and to validate his preparations up to that point—if there really will be a disaster, he’ll be ready—but Ridge’s knowledge exacerbates Michael’s guilt rather than allaying it. When Michael learns of the coming earthquake in Turkey, he agonizes over telling someone about it, hoping to save the victims just as he hopes to save his mother after Y2K. He grieves for the almost 20,000 people who lost their lives in the quake, but his grief is made far worse by the belief that he could have done something to mitigate it. Michael’s guilt peaks when Mr. Mosley dies: Michael’s missed opportunity to say goodbye, to check in on him, and perhaps save his life, compounds the guilt he already feels for his other perceived failures. As Michael faces his grief, he slowly comes to terms with his guilt: He can’t change the past or bring Mr. Mosley back, but he can choose to focus on his happier memories of Mr. Mosley rather than only the regret of his loss. Giving up Mr. Mosley’s food allows Michael to let go of his metaphorical burdens and pushes him to confess his misdeeds—stealing Beejee’s tools and the sumbook. In this way, through his grief, Michael can finally let go of his guilt.
Ridge also experiences guilt and grief, but at a more condensed pace. His decision to travel in time was an impulsive one, and it is only later that Ridge realizes the potential consequences of his actions: Even if he can return to 2199, he may have cost his mother her career. His guilt is so strong that he even worries his family has rejected him for his actions and that this is the reason the machine isn’t working (169). Ridge’s guilt, like Michael’s, is exacerbated by grief: He misses his family and fears that he will never see them again. The intensity of this grief leads him to blame himself. When the common cold (1999 variant) nearly kills him, Ridge is forced to understand the severity of his actions (212), but his eventual recovery grants him a second chance to correct his mistakes. Michael’s reminder that mistakes aren’t forever not only demonstrates his character development, but also shows Ridge that, no matter his knowledge of the future, he is not omniscient. He is equally susceptible to guilt because he is just as human. In this way, Kelly explores guilt as a major theme in the book.
The Mutual Nature of Caregiving
Throughout much of the novel, Michael believes that caretaking is a one-way street. In any given relationship, in his view, one is either the caregiver or the one who is cared for, and he believes that coming of age means transitioning from the former role to the latter. As the novel progresses, he learns that adult relationships are often defined by mutual care, and he must learn to rely on others as much as they rely on him.
Michael’s mother is often busy or exhausted from working three jobs to support herself and her son, and Michael has no siblings to share the experience or solitude. Instead, he has Gibby, a teenager only a few years his elder, and Mr. Mosley, the apartment complex handyman. All three of these characters do their best to care for Michael—Gibby babysits him, Mr. Mosley mentors him and saves money for him, and Ms. Rosario works hard to support him while also being there for him emotionally—but he often rejects their overtures, believing that he should be taking care of them rather than the opposite. He is old enough to be capable of independence, but not yet old enough to understand and appreciate dependence—his mother and Mr. Mosley both must teach Michael to accept their gifts, and Michael must learn that Gibby doesn’t need protecting and prefers that he stay true to himself (18). It is not until Ridge falls deathly ill and Mr. Mosley dies that Michael learns both the difficulty of truly taking care of someone and that it’s okay to be vulnerable and lean on others for aid. It is only then that Michael can break out of his isolated shell and branch out to form new social connections.
Gibby contrasts Michael’s experience with her own. At 16, Gibby is old enough to be partially independent—she has a car and a job, but still lives at home and remains somewhat dependent on her father. Her brother and father, both legal adults with their own homes, incomes, and lifestyles, should be taking care of her. However, Gibby is forced to take care of them solely due to their misogynistic belief that housework is a woman’s job (79-80). While Gibby takes care of Michael because she wants to, she is forced to take care of the very people who should be taking care of her. As Ms. Rosario tells Michael, “It’s my job to take care of you” (234). Though Michael does learn to let his mother take care of him and to let go of his fear of the future, he continues to prioritize her well-being and that of his friends. For Michael, coming of age means letting others care for him as much as he cares for them.
The Importance of Living in the Present
In her time-travel research, Dr. Sabio refers to the present, past, and future as the first, second, and third states of being, respectively. Ridge borrows this language to describe Michael’s tendency to obsess about the future: He says that Michael is living in the third state of being, when he should be living in the first. Throughout the novel, Michael’s coming-of-age process largely involves learning to live in the present and accept that he cannot control everything that will happen in the future.
As already established, Michael is most often driven by guilt and anxiety. As such, he seeks to put his mind at ease by preparing for every possible catastrophe. His Y2K stash epitomizes this mental habit (26). As a result, he is often indecisive or slow, reluctant to act because he fears the unknown. His obsession with Ridge’s sumbook reflects this: He steals it to learn about Y2K, despite Ridge’s many warnings and refusals to divulge information. It is only when Michael is faced with the impossibility of predicting all possibilities that he can instead focus on the first state of being—living in the present and taking life as it comes.
Similarly, the time travel scientists in 2199 remain focused on the “what ifs” instead of the here and now. Although Dr. Sabio has invented both the technology and the fail-safes required for time travel, the reality of it remains largely hypothetical. Scientists use abstractions like ethics and potential contagion to support their varied arguments—to them, time travel’s unpredictable consequences are sufficient reason not to pursue it. It is not until Ridge actually attempts time travel that anyone learns what will truly happen and the real cause/effect patterns (if any) in the space-time continuum.
In contrast, other characters live in and benefit from the first state of being: Ridge, rather than argue hypotheticals with his siblings, simply (impulsively) travels in time himself. While certain disasters may have been avoided with more planning (e.g., getting sick, different clothing), Ridge ultimately learns more and enjoys his experience by being present in his reality and going with the flow—he visits the mall, makes friends with 1999 denizens, and uses both a telephone and a microwave. He is ultimately granted a more fulfilling experience as a result (and learns the truth about his name). Gibby also lives in the first state of being; therefore, she is able to more easily accept Ridge’s story about time travel, not stress about Y2K, and generally be more self-confident and open to the world—so much so that her experience with Ridge leads her to establish the very field of science (spatial transportation) that Ridge’s mother specializes in, essentially paving the way for Ridge to travel back in time to meet her. Because she lives in the present, Gibby’s “what if” questions are better directed and productively posed, rather than the general muddled anxiety with which Michael struggles.
To a less dramatic extent, Mr. Mosley and Ms. Rosario also live in the present: Mr. Mosley looks forward to lunch with Michael and Gibby, while Ms. Rosario describes a good day as one where she “took every breath” (28). By focusing on their present rather than the nebulous future, they can enjoy life more. Rather than worrying about an impending illness, Mr. Mosley can look forward to spending time with Michael. By appreciating her “every breath,” Ms. Rosario is grateful for the positives in her life, like peaches and Michael, rather than the negatives (e.g., Y2K riots). In this way, Kelly demonstrates the value of living in the present and the dangers of worrying too much about the future.
The Power and Responsibility of Knowledge
The final theme of the novel explores the power and responsibility of knowledge. One of the great debates about time travel is not just whether it can be done, but whether it should be. Since everything that happens in the present has future consequences, any action a time traveler takes in the past is likely to alter their present in unpredictable ways. For this reason, one of the cardinal rules for time travelers in Ridge’s world is to avoid revealing the existence of time travel to denizens of the past and, ideally, to avoid engaging NTIs at all. Ridge is supposed to observe the people of 1999 from a distance, but he almost immediately fails and instead becomes a close if temporary friend to Michael and Gibby.
Michael’s friends tell him everything they know about their world—that of the distant past from Ridge’s perspective—but he cannot reciprocate this favor by telling them about his own era. Even if Michael and Gibby promised not to act on their new knowledge, Ridge understands that they would be unable to keep this promise. With knowledge comes a responsibility to act. Michael learns this early in the novel, when Ridge predicts the İzmit earthquake. If Michael knew that there would be devastating riots after Y2K, he would have a responsibility to warn people about this coming disaster regardless of the consequences. Ridge’s own existence, and the maintenance of his own timeline, is dependent on his silence about the future—much to the frustration of Michael, who seeks this knowledge for peace of mind.
As one 2199 scientist observed, humans are flawed beings. This is demonstrated when Michael steals Ridge’s sumbook and only realizes the truth behind Ridge’s concerns with the dashing of his final hope: With his limited knowledge, he cannot parse the sumbook, which has been encrypted to protect against his very human flaws. Indeed, it is not until Michael is able to set aside his emotional desires that he can understand the importance (and benefits) of his ignorance of the future. It is only then that he can be responsible and destroy the sumbook, once the allure of its power is gone.
Ridge, meanwhile, must bear the burden of this power and responsibility. Not only must he keep his secrets about what is to come, but he also can’t help himself when he is most vulnerable: Because he has future technology implanted in his body, he can’t seek medical attention when he gets sick, even if it would save his life.
Conversely, Ridge’s time travel effectively creates the future (his present). It is only after he reveals the possibility of successful time travel to Gibby that she establishes the scientific field that will develop the STM/EGG technology that Ridge needs to travel back in time in the first place, and it is by giving Gibby his name on a piece of paper that Ridge effectively names himself, a fact he won’t know until he does it (but keeps to himself to maintain the timeline). Time travel reveals the responsibility that comes with knowledge.
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