The Collected Regrets of Clover

The Collected Regrets of Clover by Mikki Brammer addresses the cultural context surrounding death in Western society. In contrast to other cultures, death is often treated as a taboo subject in Western culture. Examples of such avoidance abound in the book. The most significant example is the behavior of Claudia’s family when she is nearing death. First, the family attempts to hide reality from the dying person. Furthermore, they conceal their emotions and maintain a detached, cold attitude toward the death of a beloved person. Clover’s profession as a death doula involves countering such behaviors to help individuals come to terms with death and prepare for the end of life.

In Western society, death is frequently seen as a morbid or uncomfortable topic, leading to a culture of avoidance and silence. This fear of death can be attributed to various historical, religious, and societal factors. For example, the medicalization of death has led to the distancing of individuals from the process of dying. As a result, death becomes a clinical event rather than a natural part of life. This detachment contributes to a general sense of discomfort around the topic.

However, The Collected Regrets of Clover explores the death positive movement, which has been gaining momentum in North America and the United Kingdom since the 1970s. This movement reflects a shift in Western norms and narratives surrounding death as it aims to provide individuals with a more compassionate and informed perspective on the end of life.

The movement had many influences over the years, such as the Chicano Movement in the 1970s, which focused on reclaiming the social identity of the Latinx population in the United States. Part of this reclamation involved the public expression of the images and rituals associated with Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead), which brought discussions about death into the public sphere. Moreover, in the 1980s, palliative care gained traction in the United States, introducing an interdisciplinary approach to the care of individuals approaching the ends of their lives. Instead of exclusively focusing on medical interventions aimed at prolonging life, end-of-life care shifted toward practices that help patients improve their quality of life and come to terms with the inevitability of death. This signaled a critical step in the broader acceptance of mortality as a part of life.

Another significant shift took place due to the AIDS epidemic in the 1980s and 1990s, as people with AIDS were often stigmatized and denied proper care. This situation led to activists demanding acknowledgment and scientific research. Community death care providers stepped in when medical personnel were not available, emphasizing the need for humanity and compassion in death care. The community aspect has developed further over the years.

Death cafés play an important role for the protagonist of The Collected Regrets of Clover. They became popular in the United Kingdom in 2011. Their role is to provide casual, public spaces for people to discuss death. This model has since spread worldwide. The emergence of Clover’s profession, the death doula, is influenced by the community movements surrounding death in Western society. Death doulas provide emotional and logistical support for both families and dying individuals.

The death positive movement gained momentum when, in 2011, Caitlin Doughty, a funeral director, founded an organization called The Order of the Good Death. This death acceptance organization encourages a more open and positive approach to death. In recent years, death positivity has intersected with other social justice movements, such as feminism and the Black Lives Matter movement, to highlight the systemic impact of racial disparities and gender inequalities on the end-of-life experience.