The Cheat Sheet

“And I, in case you are wondering, am an overeager puppy, begging for Bree to play with me—to always play with me.”

Nathan’s compares himself to a puppy, a term that Jamal later repeats to him at practice when he’s hyper-fixated on Bree. This reference demonstrates the playful energy that Nathan carries in his relationship with Bree as well as his emotional dependence on her.

“Almost every day she says a terrible phrase like: ‘Just friends.’ ‘Practically my brother.’ ‘Incompatible.’ ‘Two amigos.’”

Nathan notices Bree’s attempts at keeping them platonic in conversation with him and others. The description of the words and phrases as “terrible” indicates how Nathan despises the friendzone and yearns to become romantic with Bree.

“And that’s all I want. Well, that and more money to rain down like manna from heaven somehow. I’m not sure how I’ll make it work without Hannah’s tuition and an already tight budget, but I refuse to turn away a girl who needs help.”

Bree’s refusal to turn away any students who need help demonstrates her caring and generous nature. This nature is mirrored in Nathan, who helps pay for the studio so that she can continue to offer discounted tuition to students in need.

“We’re just friends. What happens when I start relying on you financially and then one day you get married and your wife suddenly doesn’t like it that you’re paying for another woman’s rent and all the other things you’d pay for if I let you?”

This is a rare moment of vulnerability for Bree early in the novel. Her worry about what might happen if she allows herself to depend on him financially mirrors her inner insecurity about what will happen to their friendship when he gets into a truly serious relationship.

“I want to believe them, but it’s too hard. We’ve had so many years to overcome the friend zone, and she’s never done anything about it. Any time I get close, she puts up an extra firm force field that pushes me back.”

Bree’s attempts at hiding her own feelings from Nathan have led him to believe that she does not want anything beyond friendship with him. Nathan’s attempts at getting close were likely perceived by Bree as just friendly, as in the way that she perceives his cheek kisses as “brotherly.”

“I don’t want a relationship with him, okay? Not unless he is the one to initiate it by declaring his undying love for me. Anything less will just end up as an epic failure, because no one—not even you—wants to be in a relationship where she’s not loved as fervently as she loves.”

Bree’s desire for Nathan to be the one to initiate a romance between them with fervent declarations of love is more evidence that she fears The Power of Vulnerability. She can’t accept the risk that he will love her less than she loves him.

“But she is checking me out. There’s a spark in her eyes I haven’t noticed before.”

This spark hints at Bree’s feelings for Nathan and his slow realization of those feelings. This spark will continue to grow when Bree decides to “lay it on thick,” so this is an effective form of foreshadowing used by Adams in the dual-perspective format.

“It’s a look I’ve never seen before, like I just got duped by a card shark when I thought I was playing Go Fish against a toddler.”

This thought from Bree foreshadows Nathan’s scheming with the cheat sheet. In this analogy, he is the card shark with an ulterior motive for accepting the fake relationship. He does want Bree to make money to support her studio, but he also wants an opportunity to woo her in earnest.

“My heart is beating in my ears. I feel like I’m going to pass out, but I know I can’t. I have to stay on my feet. There’s no time for whatever this feeling is creeping over me. I don’t get nervous. I help get our team to Super Bowls, not pass out in the tunnel before a game.”

This is the first mention of Nathan’s struggles with mental health. It also illustrates Nathan’s perception that he is not allowed to show vulnerability.

“Nathan has a problem saying no—especially to his parents. They’ve always expected a lot of him and have never been hesitant to ask for a lot too (and give nothing in return besides criticism).”

This information about Nathan’s parents hints at future negative encounters with Vivian that will come. It also illustrates some of the factors that are contributing to Nathan’s deteriorating mental health.

“Now that Lily has pointed it out, it’s almost as if I can hear my hope screaming from a locked closet in my heart. I want that nonprofit space more than anything, but I’ve been terrified to hope for it. I want Nathan, but I’m petrified of losing him.”

Lily’s observation that Bree has forgotten how to hope and dream in the wake of her accident hits Bree hard. She is happy at a superficial level, but the things that she wants lurk deeper in her psyche, as she is unwilling to risk getting hurt and losing something (like ballet) again.

“Football will never be as important to me as she is, so you can either support my relationship with Bree or forfeit a relationship a relationship with me.”

This is the first notable instance of Nathan standing up to his mother in support of his relationship with Bree, even though the relationship is still fake at this point. Though he tolerates his mother’s criticisms of everything in his life, he cannot abide any poor treatment of Bree. This mirrors his distaste for his past girlfriends’ rude treatment of Bree.

“A strong revelation is growing as I see her words and her actions are in direct conflict with each other. Which one is fake?”

Nathan begins to realize that Bree’s words do not always express her true feelings. Her actions say that she has feelings for him, while she vehemently denies such feelings vocally. Nathan struggles with the decision to pursue Bree because the dichotomy between what she says and what she does is confusing.

“That hope Lily was talking about blooms in my chest unbidden.”

Bree’s journey toward hoping again extends during the night of the gala. Nathan sending her flowers, buying her dresses, and sending her Dylan all read as romantic. Even as she tries to push it aside, the hope unfurls within her more and more.

“‘You still with me?’ she asks quietly, making me focus on only her. I let myself drown in her, and my pulse calms a little.”

“You still with me?” is the line that Nathan says at Bree’s apartment before they leave for the gala as a check-in to how she’s feeling. Bree repeats the line to Nathan when he seems anxious on the red carpet, demonstrating her reciprocal care for him.

“Nathan finishes putting my heels on the correct feet, and I notice something odd before he stands back up—he stares at my legs for two breaths.”

As Nathan puts the shoes on Bree’s feet, she is reminded of him tying her shoe on the day they met in high school, which was the moment when Bree fell in love with him. It’s not clear if Nathan knows that that moment led to Bree falling for him, but his “Prince Charming” move has its intended effect.

“No, right now, her eyes have fire in them, and there’s no way I’m going to pretend it’s not there. I won’t keep moving and ignore the signs tonight.”

The fire in Bree’s eyes mirrors the “spark” in her eyes that Nathan saw earlier. This time, he decides to consciously pursue Bree.

“My soul is shaking. I know a whole new side of Nathan now, and I don’t ever want to go back to what we were.”

Bree’s reference to her soul prefaces her admission of liking Nathan’s soul, the closest she comes to a love confession before she actually admits her feelings. The intense kiss is also a moment of shared vulnerability between Nathan and Bree.

“‘See, that’s why we work so well together. Best f—’ I cut myself off and clamp my mouth shut. No more constant reminders of our friendship. I want more. And I’m pretty sure the first step is not claiming an old label.”

In the ocean with Nathan, Bree stops herself from uttering another declaration that their relationship is platonic. Bree also lets herself unabashedly want more from Nathan instead of burying her hopes and feelings.

“You’re a terrible singer. You make me soup when I’m sick. You bought me tampons that time I was laid out on the couch with cramps and couldn’t move. You didn’t even send someone else for them. You went yourself!”

Bree lists the actions that illustrate Nathan’s kindness and generosity. They also clearly illustrate his love for her and the caring behavior he exhibits toward her.

“I love you with everything I am, and that’s never going to change for me. I think I should be the one making sure you’re not just humoring me.”

Bree is the first one to be verbally vulnerable about her romantic feelings, but Nathan reciprocates that vulnerability with his words and his box of mementoes. Nathan’s pledge of “never changing” prefaces his proposal and planned surprise wedding.

“Bree, my best friend, I love you. We haven’t been together very long, but we’ve also been together for years. Will you marry me? Will you let me love you every day from now on? Will you finally move out of your shitty apartment and into mine?”

Nathan’s sense of humor cuts through the intensity of his proposal and demonstrates the levity that exists in his relationship with Bree. The reference to Bree’s terrible apartment continues the throughline of the dichotomy between their living situations and lives that Bree was careful to maintain before they were romantically entwined.

“‘I’ve loved you for so long,’ he says quietly, as if to himself. ‘You’re really here right now?’ I lean in and lay warm kisses up his neck to his jaw. He holds me like I’m spun glass. I will break if he squeezes too tight. ‘We’re both dreaming,’ I say against his velvet skin.”

This moment contains an ethereal, romantic tone that belies the intensity of Bree and Nathan’s first sexual encounter. Nathan wanted to wait until marriage, which he then fast-tracked into reality, and the waiting added to the intensity felt by both Bree and Nathan. The references to fragile glass and the liminal space of dreaming emphasize The Power of Vulnerability.