The Break

“Kisses are supposed to be sweet […] They’re supposed to make you excited and happy, make you forget about everything and everyone. Everything comes before and after that one moment, Emily thinks, and it’s supposed to be perfect.”

Emily’s perception of the world at the beginning of the novel illustrates a naivety through her belief that a first kiss will alter the course of her existence. She has an excitement for life and mostly positive emotions surrounding her crushes like Clayton. vermette foreshadows how Emily’s perception of a “before and after” moment alters the way she perceives herself and the world after the sexual assault.

“I am trying to feel it. Like if I can just feel it then I can describe it, give it a name and a label and then deal with it. Hurt, angry, betrayed, unworthy.”

After Gabe leaves Lou, she struggles to identify her feelings regarding his infidelity and abandonment; by feeling and understanding her emotions, Lou believes that she will be able to move forward from the loss of her boyfriend. This moment signifies the need to heal, highlighting the theme of Intergenerational Trauma and the Importance of Healing.

“She remembers that feeling, that fear of what people will think of you and your art, your whole spirit up there, out to be judged. That fear never really goes away. It can only get dulled somehow, or swallowed.”

As she begins to set up an art showing, Cheryl focuses on the fear that artists experience when showing their work to the world. This fear reflects the fear that many of these characters face in their daily lives. Just as Cheryl claims that an artist only dulls or swallows this fear, the other characters also have to learn how to live with their fear.

“She was troubled, that’s for sure, disheveled and clearly emotional. Scott lists off how he would describe her on the report. Native, mid-thirties, thin, medium height, mentioned new baby several times, clearly exhausted, and distressed, crying uncontrollably.”

Tommy consistently struggles with his Indigenous Identity in a Colonized Culture; he grapples with being an Indigenous police officer because he wants to take care of his community, which, at times, is difficult due to the racial prejudices that plague their community. On the one hand, he believes that Stella’s testimony of witnessing a rape, but, on the other hand, he views Stella as a distressed mother, who may be overcome with exhaustion.

“There wasn’t even a feeling or maybe there is just not a word big enough for all that feeling. There was so much it filled me all the way up. It was something more than knowing.”

In this moment, Rain reflects on becoming a mother when she gives birth to Stella, which emphasizes how important motherhood is for the women in the novel. Rain contemplates feeling unprepared for being a mother though she understood that the love she feels for Stella transcends time and even knowledge. Rain’s idea that it was “more than knowing” reflects her as an omniscient figure in the novel who begins each part and watches over the others.

“The sun grows brighter, and the blood has all but disappeared. She looks down Magnus but sees nothing of what happened. Not even a footprint left. The snow made everything clean, just as it always does.”

The image of snow represents a cleansing of sorts from the sexual assault that occurred the night before. However, the snow also hides the evidence of the crime as well, reflecting the way the police ignore Stella and the societal perpetuation of violence in the impoverished Métis community. Although it appears clean, the impact of what has happened, such as the trauma Emily endures and the guilt that Stella feels for witnessing the event, continues to linger despite the lack of evidence that the snow has covered.

“She feels shame, for what she doesn’t know. For herself or her daughter, she doesn’t know.”

Paulina’s reflection implies that shame exists for both herself and her daughter as they now have a shared experience of being sexually assaulted, and Paulina struggles to reconcile with this realization. Through her recognition that she shares her daughter’s experience but does not know how to heal, vermette explores Intergenerational Trauma and the Importance of Healing.

“With smudge, she took the ball of sage in the bowl and lit it up with a match, waved her hand over it until the medicine smoked. She loved that smell […]. She never felt cleansed though.”

Phoenix thinks back to her time in the center and how they used Indigenous methods as part of their healing process. Sage, which is meant to act as a cleansing agent, does not serve its purpose for Phoenix, which indicates an internal struggle regarding who she is as a person. She connects with her culture through the smell of the sage, but she also undergoes such an intense internal battle that she cannot shake her negative emotions.

“To me, it feels like being in a dream […]. It goes on and on and then, something waves, and it all blurs and curls into something. The living hang on, the dead long to.”

As one of the only first-person narrators in the novel, vermette utilizes Rain’s voice to connect the symbol of dreams with the other characters. Rain consistently is seen in Cheryl’s own dreams, so the decision to have Rain explicitly state that death feels like a dream reflects the way in which “the living hang on” to the past and to those around them.

“He pressed his body against her back, but she cringed. Her whole body tensed into a board. He let go and walked away without another word. He knew what that meant, and he didn’t try to reach her over the distance. He left her there, alone in her stiffened silence.”

Despite being from a third-person point of view, this moment illustrates Stella’s internal conflict. The longer she gives in to Jeff’s wishes about not traveling to the city to see her family, the more Stella feels disconnected from those around her. This is perpetuated by gendered oppression. Jeff goes to her for sexual gratification, but, when he walks away from her for not reciprocating, he limits her to a physical body and not a person in need of comfort.

“I think of my aunty and how she died. What my mother and grandmother must be thinking now. Here at the hospital, the same hospital that wants to release their girl, their other girl.”

Through Lou, vermette foreshadows the eventual revelation of how Rain died while also developing the theme of Intergenerational Trauma and the Importance of Healing. The hospital brings back bad memories of losing a loved one, so Cheryl and Kookom struggle to take comfort in their care of Emily. It also illustrates how Kookom and Cheryl are having flashbacks to Rain’s death that will be uncovered in later chapters, creating a layered image through Lou’s perspective.

“When Emily was born, Paul took her home from the hospital and had no idea what to do. Her Kookom had shown her how to wrap her up in a blanket, one side, the bottom, then the other side, tight. ‘Like she is still inside you,’ she whispered as the brand new Emily slept comfortably.”

Paulina’s reflection on being a mother is similar to that of Rain’s that occurs in Part 2; they reflect each other by illustrating how motherhood allows for connection to not just their child but also the women around them. Paulina looks to her Kookom for guidance just as Emily looks to Paulina for guidance. vermette shows how the characters mirror each other through shared experiences, anticipating the way they will help each other to heal.

“It was the way Elsie walked, even if the face looked older than it should have. Stella passed by real close, so their eyes could meet. Elsie saw her but there was no recognition, her eyes were as blank as they had been that night. Still dead.”

vermette utilizes Stella’s perception of Elsie to comment on the impact of addiction on the individual and those around them. Stella recognizes that Elsie is undergoing such a difficulty that it affects her waking life, while vermette begins to weave into the story how all of these characters are connected whether they realize it or not.

“Then the pain comes back and Rita runs to get more drugs. Then the shame comes back and her Moshoom squeezes her hand harder, as if he knows it helps. But it doesn’t go away, not all the way.”

Ziggy comments on the impact of shame, which reflects Emily and Paulina’s commentary on shame in Part 3. Despite characters undergoing violence at the hands of others, vermette depicts the emotional turmoil that trauma survivors undergo; the internalization of these negative emotions contributes to the need to heal from this trauma.

“He wants to prove her wrong. He doesn’t quite know why, but it bugs him. She has lots of opinions about people and places she has never known or been to.”

Tommy comments on how Hannah’s ignorance is an act of violence in itself, emphasizing The Impact of Violence on a Community. By depicting Hannah as ignorant, vermette utilizes Tommy’s perspective to illustrate how the lack of awareness of other cultures and internal prejudices only perpetuates racist ideology.

“She looks so fancy, like she was a real important lady. Phoenix knows she really wasn’t. She was just a half-breed and couldn’t even go in half the stores back then. But she still dressed up to go there.”

Phoenix, who thinks about her grandmother’s stories of growing up, also recognizes how ignorance negatively impacts the Indigenous community. Similar to Tommy, she focuses on how her identity is rooted in being viewed as “sub-human,” and perpetuates a white-imposed self-hatred by referring to Métis people as a “half-breed.” However, her grandmother represents strength by choosing to dress however she wants.

“A storyteller once told me our languages never had a sense of time, that past and present and future happened all at once […] None of us ever lets go, not really. No one has ever shown us how. Or why.”

Rain’s idea that “past and present and future” coexist reflects the structure and temporality of the novel itself. vermette utilizes perspectives from multiple generations who live through the present but constantly dream about the future and dwell on the past. This coexistent temporality reflects the theme of Intergenerational Trauma and the Importance of Healing as the novel itself builds toward an acceptance of the past and a move forward into the future.

“Cheryl knows the social worker thing she does, checking off everyone, making sure they are all safe and ensconced somewhere. Cheryl does this too, but only with her girls and their kids.”

Cheryl correlates herself with Rita regarding how they care for those around them. Although Rita does not have any chapters from her perspective, her characterization is seen through others like Cheryl. They mirror each other in how they take on the role of caretakers. Cheryl not only provides traits to define Rita, but she also characterizes herself by viewing her identity alongside the relationships that matter most to her.

“Rita doesn’t really cry. She has practice avoidance to any kind of vulnerability. Her voice might quiver, might even crack in ways she doesn’t want it to, but her eyes will stay dry.”

To contrast the above quotation, vermette, again, utilizes Cheryl’s perspective to define the identity of Rita. All of the characters in the novel process their emotions in different ways. Knowing that Rita works as a social worker, the reader is presented with a dichotomy of her nurturing side and her ability to keep her emotions at bay. This also explores the real-world implications of how having a job with such heavy and harsh experiences impacts those working them, such as being a social worker.

“As a grown up Stella knew her mom was an addict and that pull was everything she needed. But as a kid, Stella only knew her mom needed something she couldn’t give her.”

Stella reflects on her mother’s battle with addiction which illustrates just how much the experiences of the past affect the present. As an adult, Stella still struggles to combat what she didn’t understand as a child. By exploring Stella’s relationship with her mom, vermette further develops Stella’s character by showing how she internalizes her guilt from the past in the present.

“It was a timeline. Her mom wasn’t a person anymore. She was a story. And it all didn’t matter anyway […]. Her mom was dead and it was her own fault. For a long time, that was all that really mattered.”

This moment foreshadows how the Charles/Traverse family takes on the mindset that they must push forward rather than expecting things to change. However, at the same time, they still internalize these experiences, just as Stella does with her mother’s death. In an attempt to understand how her mother died, Stella had to confront her mother’s own struggles with drug addiction and feelings of abandonment.

“‘You’re a good kid. You’re even getting to be a decent cop. Nicknames don’t mean shit around here.’ Tommy had heard this before, these exact words and others like them, these compliments laced with […] something else.”

Officer Christie’s words to Tommy reflect the negative impact of racism. Although Officer Christie believes that he is complimenting Tommy, he is belittling him and downplaying the racist nickname that he calls him. vermette challenges this mindset by exploring Tommy’s internal thought process as he experiences ignorance and racism.

“Emily would disappear, if she could, break apart and disappear into nothing. She bets it wouldn’t even hurt, to fall apart like that, to become nothing. It might even feel good.”

Emily’s struggle to understand her own trauma or why it even occurred roots itself with her need to discover how to overcome it. However, the desire to be nothing at all illustrates how impactful the actions of one person alter the course of another. Emily’s experience of being sexually assaulted makes her feel as though she cannot exist in her own body as it is now, and she struggles to begin the healing process. This passage leaves Emily’s narrative in an ambiguous place with both hope and fear, highlighting the personal growth of the family but the lack of systemic change.