The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

“Did you ever consider how ridiculous it would be to try to cram on a farm—to forget to plant in the spring, play all summer, and then cram in the fall to bring in the harvest? The farm is a natural system. The price must be paid and the process followed. You always reap what you sow; there is no shortcut.” 

While the farm can be seen as a literary analogy, Covey also seems to suggest that it is an exact parallel to character growth. He sees the psyche as an organic part of nature. To change it in any way requires the same care and patience as planting a seed and waiting for it to bear fruit. 

“In the last analysis, what we are communicates far more eloquently than anything we say or do. We all know it. There are people we trust absolutely because we know their character.” 

This quote reinforces the notion that actions speak louder than words. It also explicitly draws attention once again to the role of character in determining the reaction of others toward us. People subliminally understand communication that masks an attempt to manipulate or control as a falsehood.

“Each of us tends to think we see things as they are, that we are objective. But this is not the case. We see the world, not as it is, but as we are—or, as we are conditioned to see it.”

The conditioning to which the quote refers represents our basic paradigms. Much of the book is an effort to shift several paradigms and change the reader’s perspective. The mere act of recognizing that we are controlled by old paradigms is itself a paradigm shift.

“While practices are situationally specific, principles are deep, fundamental truths that have universal application. They apply to individuals, to marriages, to families, to private and public organizations of every kind. When these truths are internalized into habits, they empower people to create a wide variety of practices to deal with different situations.”

This contrast between practices and principles parallels Covey’s discussion of personality versus character. One is ephemeral. The other is constant. His statement here also implies a direct correlation between principles and constructive habits. The two are essentially the same thing. 

“In an attempt to compensate for my deficiency, I borrowed strength from my position and authority and forced her to do what I wanted her to do.” 

Covey is describing a moment when he used his parental authority to enforce obedience from his daughter. Borrowed strength falls into the same superficial category as personality or practice. Externals are fleeting. They never address the core of the person or of the problem you intend to solve. 

“As we look around us and within us and recognize the problems created as we live and interact within the Personality Ethic, we begin to realize that these are deep, fundamental problems that cannot be solved on the superficial level on which they were created.”

Once again, we see personality equated with superficiality and artifice. To the extent that most self-help books offer superficial advice, Covey is saying that we need to dig deeper to find real solutions. This is a significant paradigm shift from the way most people learn to handle problems. 

“Interdependence is a choice only independent people can make. Dependent people cannot choose to become interdependent. They don’t have the character to do it; they don’t own enough of themselves.”

Covey is expressing his conviction that interdependence represents the most mature form of human interaction. As such, it is acquired through growth and evolution. This explains why Covey constructed the book to lead the reader through habits that can be cultivated independently before they are ready to acquire the skills of interdependence.

“If the only vision we have of ourselves comes from the social mirror—from the current social paradigm and from the opinions, perceptions, and paradigms of the people around us—our view of ourselves is like the reflection in the crazy mirror room at the carnival.”

To accept the verdict of our worth as reflected in the opinions of others is to remain in a chronically dependent state. We may resent a negative view but make no attempt to change it. We are reactive rather than proactive. A paradigm shift in self-definition is required. This change also shifts an individual from a dependent state of mind to an independent one.

“Anytime we think the problem is ‘out there,’ that thought is the problem. We empower what’s out there to control us. The change paradigm is ‘outside-in’—what’s out there has to change before we can change.”

Covey makes this comment in relation to the Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence concepts. Concern implies that we have no control over the outcome of a situation. Influence implies that we do. He is attempting to shift the reader from a reactive to a proactive mindset. In doing so, what is “out there” becomes far less important than what’s “in here.”

“I get caught up in the ‘thick of thin things.’ What matters most gets buried under layers of pressing problems, immediate concerns, and outward behaviors. I become reactive. And the way I interact with my children every day often bears little resemblance to the way I deeply feel about them.”

This quote explains why time management becomes a critical aspect of the Covey system. When a person spends all day putting out fires, they are living in reactive mode and have become the victim of circumstance. Learning to focus on what is important rather than what is urgent shifts attention toward what is really meaningful in life.

“Without involvement, there is no commitment. Mark it down, asterisk it, circle it, underline it. No involvement, no commitment.”

This statement runs contrary to business as usual for many organizations. A directive style of communication means that orders are given from the top and are obeyed by those below. Covey is taking the same organic approach with companies that he does with the individual. Each employee must feel personal involvement in the tasks they are given for the work to succeed.

“My own maxim of personal effectiveness is this: Manage from the left; lead from the right.” 

Covey frequently relies on both intuition and logic in his technique. This quote indicates that both the right brain (intuition) and the left brain (logic) are necessary to achieve one’s goals. A leader grasps the big picture using intuition. A manager implements that vision through careful planning.

“Before moving into the area of Public Victory, we should remember that effective interdependence can only be built on a foundation of true independence. Private Victory precedes Public Victory.” 

This quote reinforces the notion of organic growth. One moves carefully from dependence through independence to interdependence. The process cannot be rushed or short-circuited. This statement also indicates the degree to which interdependence is at play in the connection between Private Victory and Public Victory. 

“The president was trying to get the fruits of cooperation from a paradigm of competition. And when it didn’t work, he wanted a technique, a program, a quick-fix antidote to make his people cooperate. But you can’t change the fruit without changing the root.” 

The analogy of fruit and root comes up frequently in the book. It hearkens back to the notion that growth is an organic process. In nature, it would be silly to assume you can grow apples by planting peach pits. The president of the company in question wanted to modify behavior without digging down to the root of the problem. 

“That’s the case with so many of us. We’re filled with our own rightness, our own autobiography. We want to be understood. Our conversations become collective monologues, and we never really understand what’s going on inside another human being.”

Covey is discussing the topic of empathic listening. To truly listen, one needs to understand another’s point of view. This calls for a new paradigm shift. We cannot understand anyone else until we get ourselves out of the way first.

“He had made a huge deposit in the Emotional Bank Account by giving the man psychological air. When it comes right down to it, other things being relatively equal, the human dynamic is more important than the technical dimensions of the deal.”

Covey’s student, though worried about losing a lucrative deal, put aside his personal concerns to hear what was worrying his prospective client. The deal was concluded successfully not because of superficial tactics to close a sale but because the element of human understanding was present. This is another example of empathic listening.

“You will never be able to truly step inside another person, to see the world as he sees it, until you develop the pure desire, the strength of personal character, and the positive Emotional Bank Account, as well as the empathic listening skills to do it.”

Empathic listening might be described as a quick-fix skill. However, Covey points out that the technique is useless without the desire to actually hear what the other person is saying. You have to want to know the world from their point of view, not merely extract information you can use later. 

“If you really seek to understand, without hypocrisy and without guile, there will be times when you will be literally stunned with the pure knowledge and understanding that will flow to you from another human being […] That kind of understanding transcends technique. Isolated technique only gets in the way.” 

As in the preceding quote, Covey stresses the importance of pure intention when trying to listen empathically. However, here he seems to suggest that intention is enough all by itself. Words become superfluous when you’ve achieved this kind of deep communication. 

“When properly understood, synergy is the highest activity in all life—the true test and manifestation of all of the other habits put together […] What results is almost miraculous. We create new alternatives—something that wasn’t there before.” 

Synergy is the sixth habit. Its placement in that position is no accident since synergy is the culmination of all the preceding habits. It is less a skill or habit in and of itself than it is the ability to weave all the preceding habits seamlessly to create communication flow. The result is inspired thought and effective problem solving. 

“Habit 7 is personal PC. It’s preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have—you. It’s renewing the four dimensions of your nature—physical, spiritual, mental, and social/emotional.” 

In discussing the seventh habit, Covey makes a dramatic shift in focus. All the preceding habits have been geared toward reaching outward to engage the world in new and more constructive ways. Sharpening the saw does exactly the opposite and shifts all attention away from others and toward the care of the individual. 

“Where does intrinsic security come from? […] It comes from within. It comes from accurate paradigms and correct principles deep in our own mind and heart. It comes from inside-out congruence, from living a life of integrity in which our daily habits reflect our deepest values.” 

This statement encapsulates Covey’s entire system of personal growth. To the extent that one accepts the notion of universal principles, such fixed and unchanging ideals can ground the individual and offer some protection against life’s constant fluctuation. Security can never be found in outer circumstances. It exists only within the psyche of the individual who lives a life of integrity. 

“Renewal is the principle—and the process—that empowers us to move on an upward spiral of growth and change, of continuous improvement.” 

This quote offers a rationale for the seventh habit, which doesn’t seem to fit with the preceding six. Self-renewal is the habit that enables future growth as the individual continues to expand and achieve new personal and public victories. No cycle of growth is possible without renewal.

“We discovered that even seemingly trivial things often have roots in deep emotional experiences. To deal only with the superficial trivia without seeing the deeper, more tender issues is to trample on the sacred ground of another’s heart.” 

Covey is describing a series of conversations with his wife on the trivial subject of refrigerator brands. Over the course of the discussion, the hidden meaning behind the superficial choice became obvious. Again, empathic listening helped both individuals see the world through the eyes of another.