The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Nonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 1989

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Summary

Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Chapters 1-2

Chapters 3-4

Chapters 5-6

Chapters 7-8

Chapters 9-11

Key Figures

Themes

Index of Terms

Important Quotes

Essay Topics

Tools

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Discussion Questions

Chapters 7-8Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Part 2: “Private Victory”

Chapter 7 Summary: “Habit 4: Think Win/Win”

The author has now moved into defining interpersonal skills and introduces the fourth habit of effective people, which is to think Win/Win. By Win/Win, he means an outcome that will leave each person with some desired result. He says, “Win/Win is not a technique; it’s a total philosophy of human interaction. In fact, it is one of six paradigms of interaction. The alternative paradigms are Win/Lose, Lose/Win, Lose/Lose, Win, and Win/Win or No Deal” (237).

He goes on to define each of the other scenarios and explains why even the person who seems to win the negotiation really ends up losing. Covey sees only two viable options in any interaction, either Win/Win or No Deal. He explains No Deal as similar to an escape clause: “When you have No Deal as an option in your mind, you feel liberated because you have no need to manipulate people, to push your own agenda, to drive for what you want. You can be open” (244).

No Deal represents a way to bow out gracefully for all parties involved, but Covey still believes that Win/Win should be the outcome for which to strive. The author then discusses the Win/Win concept by examining its five dimensions at a detailed level:

1) Character requires integrity, maturity, and an abundance mentality.

2) Relationships are built on trust and a surplus in your Emotional Bank Account.

3) Agreements are created to articulate desired results, guidelines for performance, resources needed to fulfill the agreement, accountability for various tasks, and consequences if an agreement isn’t honored.

4) Structure and systems are the organizational or family culture, which can aid or hinder a Win/Win scenario depending on how much competition is stressed over cooperation.

5) Processes are the methods used to accomplish a Win/Win. These include seeing the problem from the other point of view, identifying key issues and concerns, determining what results would constitute a fully acceptable solution, and identifying possible new options to achieve those results.

The chapter concludes with an exercise that involves several independent steps. The reader is invited to do the following:

1) Think about a problem and how to create a Win/Win.

2) Identify obstacles that keep you from more frequent Win/Win results.

3) Think about a difficult relationship from the other person’s perspective.

4) Assess your Emotional Bank Balance in three key relationships in your life.

5) Consider whether your own internal scripting is Win/Win or Win/Lose.

6) Think of a person who exemplifies a Win/Win attitude and learn from this person.

Chapter 8 Summary: “Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood”

The next interpersonal skill the author explores is empathic listening. Rather than merely collecting facts, he suggests that listening should be an active attempt to understand a point of view other than your own: “When I say empathic listening, I mean listening with intent to understand. I mean seeking first to understand, to really understand. It’s an entirely different paradigm” (278).

Covey believes that we often listen to other people by filtering what they say through the lens of our own experience. We typically fall into one of four different autobiographical responses: evaluate, probe, advise, or interpret. These are all based on our experiences, not those of the person who is talking.

Instead, the author suggests a different set of responses based on empathy. When listening to another, we should mimic content, rephrase the content, and reflect the speaker’s feeling. These techniques should be based on a sincere desire to understand where the other person is coming from emotionally.

Covey then examines the second part of Habit 5—the need to be understood: “Seeking to understand requires consideration; seeking to be understood takes courage” (293). He says that when a speaker is communicating with an audience or making a presentation, they should try to engage emotionally with their listeners before offering logical solutions.

He draws on three terms the ancient Greeks used to describe communication: ethos (personal credibility), pathos (empathic feeling), logos (logic or words). Covey says, “Notice the sequence: ethos, pathos, logos—your character, and your relationships, and then the logic of your presentation” (293).

The chapter ends with an exercise to improve empathic communication skills:

1) If you have failed to understand someone close to you, try to see the situation from that person’s point of view. Do a reality check with them later.

2) Invite empathy feedback from somebody close to you.

3) Watch a group of people communicate while covering your ears. What did you pick up about their conversation from nonverbal cues?

4) If caught giving an autobiographical response, use the opportunity to make a deposit into your Emotional Bank Account by apologizing.

5) Base your next presentation on empathic communication. Note the results.

Chapters 7-8 Analysis

The chapters in this section cover the topic of negotiation, even though Covey doesn’t use that word to describe what is happening here. Obviously, a person needs to function interdependently to be a good negotiator. One always needs to keep the needs of the other in mind when trying to reach some kind of agreement—whether on a social or business level.

Each chapter presents a different tool that is calculated to raise the reader’s level of interdependence. In Chapter 7, we learn about the Win/Win scenario. Though generally applied to business, this negotiation strategy can also be employed within a family dynamic, as Covey illustrates with personal examples. Because interdependence is a concept that depends on balance and equality among the parties involved, the Win/Win strategy embodies the goal of making sure everyone is satisfied with the outcome of the negotiation.

Covey is careful to draw a distinction between Win/Win and compromise, in which no one is really happy with the result. Instead, he substitutes the No Deal option as a way of limiting any damage to a relationship that might ensue from outcomes other than Win/Win.

The habit that follows in Chapter 8 really dovetails with that of Chapter 7. If communications break down, a Win/Win outcome would be impossible to achieve. Covey proposes learning empathic communication as a way around this problem. He encourages the reader to try to understand the point of view of another, as well as the factual data they are presenting. Conversely, if one is the speaker, one needs to make sure that one’s true feelings are understood by others.

Both chapters contain detailed exercises designed to reinforce the skills they teach. By adding this material, Covey exemplifies two of the book’s central themes. After creating a paradigm shift in the reader’s mind with Win/Win and empathic communication, he nurtures growth in these areas through repetitive exercise.