Tell Me Everything

In the third week of April, Bob and Margaret’s neighbors hear them having a terrible fight. Earlier, Bob went with Margaret to Boston, where she gave a talk. She practiced the sermon in the car on the way. Bob knew that the sermon was good, but sometimes, he was troubled by the sanctimoniousness that she exudes when she speaks at church.

The next day, Margaret went to deliver her sermon, agreeing to meet Bob at the hotel at one o’clock to meet their hired car. When Margaret didn’t return at one, Bob packed her bags and checked out of the hotel. He waited outside for the Uber.

Bob’s therapist told him once that because of his guilt over his father’s death, he is uncomfortable being angry. However, by the time Margaret returns at 3:20 pm, he is angry. On the way home, Margaret finally notices his anger but doesn’t understand it.

Later, he realizes it is because he “felt abandoned” and connects it to a memory of his mother forgetting to pick him up from a Cub Scout meeting once. When he explains this to Margaret, she tells him that she is always having to accommodate his “childhood trauma.” Bob realizes she is gaslighting him, a term he learned from Lucy, and tells her so.

Bob buys cigarettes and a bottle of wine and sits by the river. When he goes home, Margaret apologizes but not with a nice tone. Bob tells her that she is “self-absorbed” and points out that she never asks him about his day. He goes upstairs to bed, “stunned” at what he’s done.

Later, Margaret comes upstairs. She tells him that she Googled “gaslighting,” and he’s right. The fight is over, but Bob is still uneasy about his realization. The next day, Margaret asks him how the Matt Beach case is going. He tells her about it, and she is engaged, asking questions. However, Bob feels like she isn’t truly sorry and realizes that he doesn’t completely trust her.

The next day, Bob picks up Matt’s computer from the police. He and Matt look at the contents together. The only potentially damaging things on it are the letters he occasionally wrote complaining about his mother.

Bob asks if Matt ever thinks about hurting himself. When Matt says no, Bob believes he is lying. He wants to take Matt’s rifle, but instead, they compromise. Matt will call Bob “every morning and every night until this case goes away” (184). Bob asks Matt if there is anything else he should know. When Matt says no again, Bob knows he is lying. The case is starting to exhaust him. He interviews two men who worked with Matt before he retired, but they don’t help Matt’s case.

Bob meets Lucy for a walk. As she comes toward him in the parking lot, she realizes how much he loves her. He tells Lucy about his fight with Margaret, but Lucy believes Margaret can change, as “[t]here’s a difference between being self-absorbed and being a narcissist” (189). He wishes he could tell Lucy about Matt’s case. Lucy expresses her joy at the dandelions that are beginning to bloom, and for a moment, Bob sees the beauty of them. They talk about what frightens them and how terrifying the world sometimes is. Lucy asks Bob if he envies people and tells him about an email she got from someone who envied her. Lucy remembers envying Princess Diana but knows that she is too arrogant to be envious of many people. Bob admits that he is envious of Lucy’s daughters because of how much she loves them.

Lucy says that it is terrifying that no one ever really knows anyone else. She wishes she wasn’t so lonely but feels like she is too good at it. She envies a woman “who is [her own] age who can just leave her life and go on to another” (195), and Bob points out that one can’t envy imaginary people.

Bob asks Lucy to tell him a story. She tells him about Charlene Bibber’s dog, who has dementia, and how she takes the dog for acupuncture. Even as Bob feels insensitive, he can’t help laughing.

That night, Bob thinks about what he and Lucy seemed to say to each other without saying it. He feels like Lucy really hears him. Afterward, he thinks of her constantly.

Bob gives Matt a cell phone. When Matt asks who he will call, Bob says, “[C]all me” (199). He shows Matt all the apps and puts Matt on his locator app. Matt is excited that Bob wants to know where he is—no one else cares. Bob sets his locator up on Matt’s phone and tells Matt that no one else, not even Margaret, is allowed to track him.

Olive calls Bob. She remembered what she knew about Matt Beach. Diana had told her guidance counselor that her father sexually abused her. Bob tries to investigate but comes to a dead end. Matt says he doesn’t know anything about it but tells Bob that he’s added Diana to his locator app, too.

During this time, Bob is aware of both the pleasure and pain of being in love with Lucy and waits for their next walk. One day, he sees Lucy at the grocery store, but she doesn’t see him. Lucy speaks to a woman condescendingly, and Bob doesn’t like seeing that side of her. Immediately after, Charlene Bibber approaches Lucy, who hugs her as she cries about putting her dog down. Bob is somewhat mollified by this but reflects that “he did not know her as well as he thought he did” (203).

Since her fight with Bob, Margaret hasn’t been sleeping well. She realizes that her marriage is not what she assumed it was, which means that she isn’t who she thought she was, either. When she asks Bob if he loves her, he tells her, of course, and it seems sincere.

The next time Bob walks with Lucy, she tells him about Charlene’s dog. He asks about her relationship with Arlene Cleary and tells her he saw her snub Arlene at the grocery store. She finds it strange that he was watching her and didn’t say he was there. He apologizes. After a moment, she forgives him. She smiles, and he thinks that she is beautiful.

Lucy tells him that she is glad he is a part of her life, and he says he feels the same. He apologizes again, and they sit together in companionable silence. He realizes they are connected again.