Part 1, Chapters 1-3Chapter Summaries & Analyses
Part 1: “Before”
Part 1, Chapter 1 Summary
Content Warning: The source material and this guide reference body image struggles, anti-gay bias, suicide, and addiction to alcohol.
In November, 18-year-old Will White attends a bonfire with his friend Josh Winters and Josh’s twin sister Rosie. He’s never noticed Rosie at school before and feels drawn to her in the firelight, inexplicably telling her that his mom left them when he was young, something he’s never told anyone. Josh begins playing the guitar, and when Rosie sings, Will thinks it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard. He and Rosie talk by the firelight long into the night.
Will lives with his grandmother and his sister Amber. The next day, Will sleeps late and works on his new motorcycle, his prized possession. Being in the garage with his bike, surrounded by all his grandfather's tools, “[…] is the only place where things feel somewhat right to him, where everything has a purpose, and nobody talks or doubts or expects things” (8). He tries not to think of Rosie while he works.
Rosie stays late in the music room, working on a new composition. She goes to the gym to run only to appease her mom. Rosie counts her steps on the way home and counts seconds during her shower. At dinner, Rosie’s mother gives her a smaller portion of lasagna than Josh or anyone else. Her father does a crossword during dinner while her mom discusses a case at work. While clearing the table, Josh secretly gives Rosie his leftovers, and Rosie hears a new song in her head.
The next day, Rosie’s friend Marley wants to get together. Rosie claims she has too much work to do, but Marley reminds Rosie that they are young and need to have fun. Rosie points out that they had fun at the bonfire, but Marley says it was uneventful except that she made out with someone. Marley calls Rosie a “vanilla virgin” and says they must have fun over the weekend. Later, walking to school alone, as she ritualistically crosses and re-crosses the road several times, Rosie considers that Marley is right. She’s never had sex, tried drugs or alcohol, or done anything adventurous. Rosie has only been kissed once, without her consent and it left her with bruises on her back from being shoved against a door. She resolves that she has plenty of time to experience everything life offers.
Part 1, Chapter 2 Summary
Josh and Will have the same math class, and Josh wants to ace the mock exams in preparation for spring college entrance exams. Will isn’t planning to attend college. He’s smart, but everyone thinks he’s a delinquent since he drives a motorcycle and has gotten into trouble. Will hasn’t stopped thinking about Rosie since the bonfire, though not in a sexual way. He thinks of her eyes and how she earnestly cared about his story.
Will drives to Josh’s house to help him with his math work. Will knows Rosie is home but doesn’t see her. A snowstorm hits, and Will must stay at Josh’s house overnight. Josh’s mom doesn’t seem happy that Will must spend the night and says he can sleep on the couch. Rosie can’t sleep and comes downstairs and sees Will in the kitchen, which startles her. She gets a glass of water but lingers as if she wants to stay, not believing that a popular guy like Will talked to her at the bonfire and is now in her house. She tells him she has trouble sleeping and offers him a bowl of cereal. They stay up all night talking about deep things like Rosie’s inability to sleep and worries about the future. Will thinks that getting good grades and succeeding in life isn’t always a path to happiness, but Rosie says this is what she truly wants. Before she goes to bed, Will tells her that he can’t stop hearing her singing the song from the campfire. Rosie calls that an “earworm,” which she compares to how her brain gets “caught on a loop” (26). Will considers kissing her but doesn’t, wondering what could come of his attraction to a girl whose plans are so different from his.
The following day, neither Will nor Rosie tells Josh about their late-night talk. Will asks Rosie to walk in the snow, but she needs to study, so Will offers to go later. Rosie can’t concentrate on her work for thinking about her and Will’s conversation the previous night. She wanted to ask him about being suspended from school but didn’t find a good time. Rosie joins Will and Josh at the park, but Will and Rosie don’t love the snow like Josh. Rosie and Will walk home together. Will doesn’t understand why Rosie is so focused on school, but she claims it’s only because she must have a “plan.” Rosie’s hands go numb from the cold. Will puts her hands inside his jacket to warm them, and she can feel his heartbeat.
Part 1, Chapter 3 Summary
After he drives home, Darcy calls Will, asking if he can come over. He knows she only wants sex and says no. Gran peppers Will with questions about his stay at Josh’s house. She suggests he start tutoring for money, but he wants to focus on the garage. Amber is ten and working on a school project about her future. She thinks she could be a lawyer or a dentist.
Rosie watches movies with Marley and tells her about staying up all night with Will. Marley thinks their life is boring, but Rosie considers her night with Will and “[…] feels like there might be something more, already, for her” (39). Later, Rosie composes a new song, and she and Josh discuss how their mom is stressed about work. Josh feels grateful for Will’s help with math and thinks that Rosie judges Will because of his reputation. Rosie looks at Josh and considers all they share as twins, and she wonders if he can read her thoughts about Will.
Will started running four years ago to help with his anger. He loves the freedom and release of a run even though his smoking impacts his lung capacity. He runs on the beach to the lighthouse and then back home. Exhausted, he lies on his bed, looking at the star stickers from childhood on his ceiling. He feels a twinge of bitter nostalgia, but not anger like before. Will has never spoken to Rosie at school, but he talks to her at her locker the next day and walks her home from school. After he finishes his run, he asks her to meet him at the lighthouse that afternoon. Rosie comes, and they watch the sunset together. Their conversation is awkward, and Rosie must lie to her parents to leave the house because it’s so out of character for her. Will says he wants to know what she’s thinking, and Rosie wonders if he asks all girls this. Rosie tells Will that she is nothing like him, loves music, plays several instruments, focuses on getting into college, and doesn’t have time to pursue a relationship. Will walks her home and considers holding her hand but doesn’t. Despite her aloofness, he feels something between them and worries that she might learn the truth about him. Rosie wants to study music but might study history as a more practical route. Will has few passions except his bike and a desire to travel the world.
Later, on the phone to Marley, Rosie downplays every interaction she’s had with Will since the bonfire, but internally, she feels excited. Marley says Will was suspended from school for beating up someone in the bathroom—she finds Will’s troubled past and brooding nature sexy and mysterious. Rosie won’t admit to Marley that she likes him, but inwardly Rosie concedes that even though she wants to pursue something with Will, it’s not the right time in her life. At school the next day, she takes Will to the music room and tells him they can’t be together because she must focus on school. Will tells her that he will wait for her to finish her exams, and then they can have the summer together. He says he’s always thinking about her, and she admits she thinks of him too. She’s even had sexual fantasies about him but doesn’t tell him.
Part 1, Chapters 1-3 Analysis
The novel’s title immediately takes on thematic resonance in the opening scene when Will and Rosie meet over the glow of a late-night bonfire, and The Significance of Unspoken Words and Repressed Emotions emerges as a central theme in the novel. From the start of the narrative, Daverley indicates that Rosie and Will hide parts of themselves from the world, making nighttime ideal for sharing secrets. Thus begins the first of many twilight conversations that solidify their bond, and each shares parts of themselves they’ve never revealed to anyone else despite being opposites in every way. Daverley’s stylistic choice to forgo the use quotation marks for the dialogue adds to the intensity and intimacy of conversations as the dialogue seamlessly blends with the characters’ interior thoughts. The stream of consciousness-like ebb and flow reflects fluid, unstructured conversations and adds to the sense that these connections take place under the cover of night. The darkness allows Rosie and Will the freedom to reveal things they wouldn’t otherwise. For example, Will shares his most painful secret that his mother abandoned him when he was a young child. Rosie reveals music as integral to her life by sharing her original composition—a vulnerable, intimate act that makes her feel exposed. Although Will maintains a tough exterior, hearing Rosie sing and share her private thoughts connects him to a more vulnerable side of himself, a feeling both comforting and terrifying.
In their subsequent late-night encounter at Rosie’s house, Daverley establishes an opposites attract dynamic—a common trope in romance narratives—through Will and Rosie’s opposing perspectives on planning for the future. Rosie places pressure on herself to meet her mother’s lofty expectations of behavior and academic performance. She believes if she adheres to this standard and reaches her goals she’ll be rewarded with a successful, fulfilling life. Conversely, Will sees no point in striving to live up to others’ standards, regardless of whether or not he’s capable. He prefers to live by his rules, free from any expectations for himself or his future beyond working on his motorcycle. Daverley uses Will’s school reputation to reinforce Rosie’s view of him as a part of the popular crowd—a boy she believes would never notice her. Establishing opposing personalities, family dynamics, and social spheres for her characters provides obstacles for the characters to overcome in their romantic arc and allows Daverley to explore the hidden parts of the characters that will become the foundation for their connection.
Daverley grounds the love story between Will and Rosie in their shared secrets and mental health challenges. Rosie hides the impact that her mother’s rigid expectations for her body image and pressure to perform academically has on her mental health, causing her to develop repetitive behaviors and rituals to manage her anxiety. Similarly, Will hides the childhood trauma of his mother’s abandonment. While Rosie and Will both have strong familial relationships—Will with his Gran and Amber and Rosie with Josh—these connections remain complicated by the
The story examines The Challenges of Complex Family Dynamics and Relationships through Will’s relationship with his grandmother, and Rosie and Josh’s twin connection. Will’s gran exemplifies the importance of familial relationships, especially when children are left in the care of extended family. Though Rosie and Josh live with both parents, Daverley depicts their mother as bogged down with work and chronic migraines, and their father as an emotionally distant patriarch, leaving Rosie and Josh lean on one another for support. Rosie feels a strong twin bond between them, which Daverley represents as a deep emotional attachment. Though Rosie hides her anxiety and symptoms of her obsessive-compulsive disorder, Josh instinctively recognizes them and shows support for his sister in small ways, like sharing his food and listening to her.
Daverley structures her novel in three parts, examining the end of teenage life, college, and young adulthood, and approaching middle age. Part 1 reveals the insignificant highs and lows of adolescent life and exposes the specific challenges of teen experience. Rosie’s determined façade hides a young girl struggling. Daverley highlights The Individualized Nature of Mental Health through Rosie’s obsessive-compulsive tendencies, which provide temporary relief for her anxiety but threaten to interfere with her daily life and relationships. Rosie avoids social events and suppresses her attraction to Will because she needs to focus on school and maintain a strict schedule to appease her mother’s expectations. Rosie’s interiority reveals that she keeps her life orderly and organized to maintain a sense of control, but it’s precarious, as if she’s keeping plates spinning. If one falls, the entire system crumbles. Rosie fears that if she allows herself to let go, her whole plan will falter.
