Small as an Elephant

Jack arrives at Seawall Camping Supplies, a general service store inside a cabin that has showers as well as lobster by the pound. Jack sees a sign that advises patrons, “Change at the counter” (8), and he wishes his mother was there to laugh with him. Jack orders two red snapper hot dogs, and while he eats, he thinks about he should have been sharing this moment with his mom. He tries to put himself in Becky’s shoes, thinking about her tendency to run with ideas and wondering why she would go to such efforts to plan a trip but then leave him. He decides not to let his mother ruin the vacation and goes down to the beach to put his feet in the ocean, all the while still looking for her. At the beach, Jack meets two kids named Aiden and Julie, and he plays on the rocks with Aiden for a while before he and his sister leave with their parents. Jack looks down at the rocks and imagines they’re a herd of elephants. He lays down on top of one and thinks about the first time he met an elephant. His mother took him to the zoo when he was four years old, and when they went into the elephant tent, Becky held Jack while the elephant gently tapped his shoulder. Jack screamed in panic at first, but the elephant coaxed him out of his fear and even made him laugh. Jack felt safe with the elephant then, safer than he’d ever felt.

On his way back to the campsite, Jack passes Aiden and Julie’s site but knows that if he goes to greet them, he’ll only end up drawing attention to his situation. At the campsite, his mother hasn’t returned, and he keeps telling himself she’ll be back soon. A park ranger appears and asks Jack if he’s in trouble, and while Jack knows that he should admit what’s going on, he lies and says everything’s fine. He knows his situation isn’t like those of other kids and worries what will happen if he tells anyone he was left alone.

Jack uses the $10 he has to buy salami, cheese, and marshmallows from the supply store. He thinks about his mother finding him settled and taking care of himself and about the jokes they would make with each other; in truth, though, he knows he would react to her with understandable anger at her leaving him. On his way back to the campsite, he passes Aiden and Julie’s tent again and thinks about joining their family for dinner. He knows, however, that they would have questions and he would have to lie. Jack realizes that he doesn’t have enough change left for firewood and isn’t allowed to collect any, so he ends up eating his marshmallows cold, along with the meat and cheese, in his tent alone. He thinks of his earliest memory of his grandmother, in which they talked about how much elephants eat. Jack remembers how, soon after, his mother and grandmother stopped talking at all. Then he recalls a happy memory of a day he read to his mom from The Cowboy and His Elephant (Malcolm MacPherson) and she complimented his intelligence.

Jack wakes from a nap feeling extremely dehydrated. It’s nine o’clock at night and his mom still isn’t back, so he goes to the nearby tap to fill some cups with water. He runs into Aiden and Julie’s mother there, and she asks Jack about his mom. Jack says that she’s ill and staying at the campsite, and Aiden’s mother invites him to go to Echo Lake the following day. Jack decides that going with Aiden’s family to the lake is better than sitting around waiting for his mother, who may not even show up, so he accepts the invitation after assuring Aiden’s mother that he’ll get his mom’s permission. The next day, Jack awakens, still alone, and thinks about other times his mother left him without a word. She always came back and acted sweet, hoping Jack wouldn’t stay angry with her. While Jack eats the last of his food, another ranger questions him, but he assures the man that his mother is just off running errands.

During the trip to Echo Lake, Jack goes swimming with Aiden and eats a huge, decadent picnic after feeling starved. He again considers telling Aiden’s parents about his mother leaving but worries that someone will try to take him from her if they find out. He decides that he’ll try looking for her one more time, and if he can’t find her, he’ll ask for help. During the picnic, Jack points to a cloud that looks like an elephant and soon everyone sees elephants in the clouds. Jack remembers doing the same thing with his mom and starts missing her terribly. He goes somewhere private to try to call her again but realizes that he went swimming with his phone and ruined it. Realizing that his mother has no way of contacting or locating him, Jack falls to the ground and cries.

Jack tells Aiden’s parents a half-truth about being worried for his mother’s health since she’s sick. Aiden’s mother insists on checking up on her later, and Jack realizes that he has set himself up to be discovered. Without his phone, he worries about what would happen if his mother returned to the campsite, and whether she would know to stay and wait for him. He thinks back to when Social Services took him from his mother and sent him to live with his grandmother. It happened after police found his mother pestering people in the subway station, trying to get them to answer her riddle, “What can burn in space?” (46). Jack remembers frantically trying to calm her down as she went from person to person, poking them, tugging their clothes, and asking the same question over and over. When the train arrived, Jack’s mother refused to board, and the police found them soon after. Jack’s mother had always warned him never to tell anyone anything that went on with her, and when his grandmother took him in, he was questioned constantly about his home life. He told his grandmother nothing but felt like she always looked at him as though she knew. Rather than being discovered alone by Aiden’s mother, Jack decides to pack what he can (a flashlight, some comics, and a couple articles of clothing) and leaves the tent behind to go catch the bus.