Slow Dance

Mikey and Shiloh want to seal their friendship with a blood oath in high school, but Cary refuses to participate. He says to Shiloh, “You already got my sword […] And my shoulder” (174). Cary agrees to spit and shake hands, and though Shiloh finds the ritual disgusting, she agrees. They seal their friendship with the spit-filled handshake, and Mikey is overjoyed. He proclaims that he can’t wait to tell them all his secrets.

Shiloh attends a performance at her theater with the kids, her work best friend Tom, and his partner Daniel. Tom tells her that Ryan came to last night’s performance because he’s dating Jocelyn, an actress in the production. Tom supported Shiloh during her divorce and now encourages her to move forward. The costume designer Kate has asked Shiloh out, and Tom wants her to accept, but Shiloh says it’s too soon. The kids recognize Jocelyn, which means they’ve met her at Ryan’s. Tom knows it’s Ryan’s weekend with the kids and asks Shiloh about her plans, but she has none.

Initially, Ryan and Shiloh’s split was explosive, but they soon found common ground in their children. Ryan is a good father and demanded they split custody equally. Their chaotic schedule ensures the children are never separated from one parent for over three days. Yet, Shiloh can’t escape the feeling that she’s doing “part-time parenthood,” depriving the children and herself of something, but she’s glad they can co-parent peacefully (182). When Mikey and Janine’s son Otis is born, Shiloh is happy for them yet can’t shake her jealousy over their perfect, unified family.

Cary calls Shiloh at 3 am from Singapore because his mother has fallen and needs help. Shiloh and her mother go to Lois and find her on the floor, conscious but injured. Shiloh calls 911 despite Lois’s protests and rides with her to the hospital. Lois has a fractured hip and needs surgery, so Shiloh stays until other family members arrive. She keeps Cary updated on Lois’s condition, and when Cary’s niece Angel arrives, Shiloh leaves.

Shiloh gets updates on Lois from Cary, and he says the doctor thinks she had a heart attack. Cary gets emergency leave and travels to Omaha to see his mom. He and Jackie—his biological mother whom he calls his sister since he was raised by Lois—don’t get along, and she refuses to let him stay at home, so he asks Shiloh if he can stay with her for one night until he gets a hotel room. Cary arrives looking exhausted and haggard. Shiloh makes him toast, and he eats hungrily. Shiloh makes up the couch as a bed, and Cary asks her to sit with him for a while. She loves being near him again and the idea that he called her when he needed someone. It reminds her of when they were in high school and had “Constant intimacy, careful boundaries” (196). She decides she can be okay with them just being friends.

The following day, Ryan arrives early to pick up the kids. Shiloh tries to shoo them out the door before they see Cary on the couch, but Junie shouts when she sees him. Ryan recognizes him as the “Cary of the full-page yearbook letter” (199). Ryan is confused because they’ve agreed they will not have overnight guests when the kids are home. Shiloh explains that Cary is only there because his mother is hospitalized.

The day the yearbooks are distributed, Cary and Shiloh swap, and Cary takes hers to the darkroom to work on his letter. Shiloh’s letter to him is humorous but also honest and heartfelt.

In his long yearbook letter, Cary tells Shiloh she is intelligent and capable of doing anything she dreams of, including being an actress. What he will remember most about her is spending every morning and afternoon together.

When Ryan wants to drop their rule about no overnight guests when the kids are around, Shiloh resolves to say no. Ryan has never had to worry about Shiloh violating their agreement because he knows she isn’t dating anyone. After all, “The kind of guy who would introduce his girlfriends to his wife didn’t get to set the terms thereafter” (204). Shiloh knows he only wants to change the rule because he believes she will never bring anyone home anyway.

Cary’s mother has surgery to place a stint on her heart. Cary gets a hotel room close to the hospital. He will be in town for at least two weeks to get her transitioned to a rehabilitation facility. On the phone, he apologizes to Shiloh for the awkward situation with Ryan. She assures him not to worry and says she wants to be friends. They make plans to have dinner that evening.

Over a casual dinner, Shiloh explains to Cary her and Ryan’s custody split agreement. They both lament that they never knew their fathers. Cary knows Lois is his grandmother, and Jackie is his biological mother. Cary worries about Lois, and while he discusses his complicated family situation, Shiloh enjoys the fact that he trusts her to talk about hard things. He says no one cares about a person’s past in the Navy. She wonders if he has anyone to talk to on the ship. Cary won’t let Shiloh pay for dinner.

While Shiloh’s at work with Tom, Cary texts and asks her to dinner again. Shiloh and Ryan have switched days, so she has the kids, but she invites Cary to eat with them. Cary calls and explains that he isn’t entirely comfortable being around the kids, not because he doesn’t like them but because of Ryan. Shiloh assures him they can reschedule, but Cary says he’ll come. She reminds him that he will never fully understand the complexities of her co-parenting situation. Tom overhears the conversation and tells Shiloh that her situation “sounds like a big old mess,” but he is happy for her (214).

Shiloh asks her mother to eat dinner with them to give the impression that it’s a platonic date. Cary eats with Shiloh, the children, and Gloria and then plays board games with the children afterward. Cary waits on the couch while Shiloh and her mom put the kids to bed, and when it takes longer than usual, Shiloh feels guilty for making Cary participate in her domestic life when he’s got so much on his mind.

When she joins him on the couch, he's nearly asleep. When he calls Ryan a “handful,” Shiloh explains that he is a high school drama teacher, and they met in a college production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Shiloh asks why Cary never got married, and he explains that he isn’t good with relationships because when he feels out of control, he closes himself off emotionally. Shiloh says her divorce proves she isn’t good at relationships either, but she thinks people can change. Cary believes it’s hard for people to change. Cary massages Shiloh's ankle as they sit in silence.

Cary and Shiloh have dinner a few more times. His mother is released from the hospital into a rehab facility, but matters remain tense between him and his family. Mikey declares they are having “Family Fun Time” and invites Shiloh and Cary to accompany him. Caring for a newborn is taking its toll on Janine and Mikey, and he’s thankful for a break. They go to the arcade they enjoyed as teens and play all their vintage games. Shiloh feels like a teenager again and starts poking Cary and pulling his hair like she did in high school. After the arcade, they go to Taco Bell, just like before, and then take Mikey home. Cary takes Shiloh home, and he tells her he is leaving in two days. She makes him promise not to let so much time pass before they talk again. He walks her to the porch and touches her chin just as Junie flings open the door. Junie runs upstairs crying, and Shiloh follows. Junie says she doesn’t want Shiloh to “do that” with Cary and doesn’t want him to return. Shiloh says Cary is going to his home on the ocean.

Cary texts Shiloh, apologizing for upsetting Junie. Shiloh explains that it’s not his fault and “there’s no good way to be a divorced mom. Or a kid with divorced parents” (234). Cary now understands why Shiloh had given him a chance to back out after the wedding, knowing her life might be too much for him. He doesn’t want to be a person that upsets Shiloh’s children.

Shiloh can’t fall asleep with Cary in her dorm room bed. She keeps touching his face and all the moles and scars she never knew existed. Cary returns her touch, and they have sex again. She tells him she loves him. Before Cary leaves, he tries to leave one of his dog tags with her but doesn’t like the idea of the tags as an identification for a dead soldier, nor does she need them to remember him. She keeps one anyway.

When Cary was eight, his father died; afterward, his mother had many men in and out of the house. Some were abusive to Cary, and he had to padlock his bedroom door. Cary’s sisters are each from different fathers.

Shiloh waits to text Cary, thinking their relationship might have run its course. He emails her after he returns to his ship and tells her to write to him.

Cary and Shiloh’s email exchange shows them catching up on their day-to-day lives. Shiloh watches Navy movies to learn more about Cary’s job. She shares that Gus is still having problems, and Cary shares that he’s trying to get his mother into an assisted living facility, but she likely won’t agree to it. Cary sends Shiloh pictures of his ship.

Cary’s photos show just how small and cramped his living quarters are. Shiloh shares the pictures with Tom, who thinks Cary is attractive. Shiloh describes their correspondence as “very friendly.” Shiloh emails Cary with questions about the photos, and he responds, helping her better understand his life at sea.

Cary emails Shiloh to say he’s had a bad day but can’t tell her why. He is still worried about Junie, but Shiloh assures him she will eventually adjust to the divorce. Cary is surprised Shiloh hasn’t dated since the divorce and says she should date and find happiness.

Shiloh goes on a date with Kate to see a production of Macbeth. Kate kisses her during the performance, and Shiloh likes it, mainly because it clarifies what she’s long suspected about her sexuality. Tom is encouraged, saying that she’s “doubled the size of [her] dating pool” (251), but Shiloh says she doesn’t want to date Kate or anyone.