Slow Dance

Cary arrives at Shiloh’s dorm and sees her before she spots him. Shiloh has cut her hair short and dresses differently, showing more skin than she used to. Shiloh doesn’t recognize Cary with his shaved head and uniform. They don’t hug because they never did. In her dorm room, they catch up on everything. Shiloh has sent Cary letters, but he wants to hear about her college experience. Shiloh loves her freedom in college, and though she’s sometimes lonely, she enjoys not answering to anyone but herself.

Being with Shiloh reminds Cary of how much he misses life outside the Navy. She pokes at him in her customary way, but he stops her when she tries to snatch his flat cap. She snaps his photo and then takes one of the two of them, promising to send him and Mikey a copy. Enamored with its bristly texture, she touched his head and runs her hands over his skin. Cary isn’t sure “which game this [is],” but he doesn’t want it to stop (89). They both admit they missed each other, and Cary kisses her.

In high school, Mikey teases Cary about his relationship with Shiloh, assuming they have a secret romance, but Cary insists that Shiloh doesn’t have feelings for him. Mikey points out that she always touches Cary, which she doesn’t do with others, and wagers Cary a lot of money, saying that Shiloh loves him. Cary reminds Mikey that he has a girlfriend and asks him to let it go and not “make it weird” between him and Shiloh.

In Shiloh’s dorm, Cary continues kissing Shiloh, thinking about the ramifications of finally acting on what he’s wanted to do for so long. He’s always thought they couldn’t date because it might ruin their friendship and because “There [is] nowhere for them to go with each other. The minute they [start], they’[ll] be at the finish line” (93). Now he worries he’s made a mistake.

They keep kissing on the bed, but Shiloh’s roommate, Darla, interrupts them. Shiloh negotiates with Darla to stay elsewhere, giving them privacy over the weekend. Shiloh asks Cary what is happening between them, but he can’t define it. She reminds Cary that he will eventually leave, and they will not see each other for months or years. She wonders if they should start a relationship, knowing what will come. Her doubt devastates him—he feels like he’s just gotten her and is losing her at the same time. Shiloh says they should embrace and enjoy the moment. She cries, and he kisses her again.

In high school, Cary’s in the school play with Shiloh. He feels overwhelmed with ROTC and helping his mom at home and struggles to learn his lines. During the performance, Cary says the wrong line and his mistake threatens to derail the entire cast. Shiloh improvises to cover his mistake and keep the scene moving forward without embarrassing him.

Shiloh and Cary spend hours making out in her dorm. Shiloh has never had sex, and she wants her first time to be with Cary. His first time was with Angie, but he tells Shiloh sex should be with someone they love. Shiloh says she loves him and he makes her feel safe, which angers him. Cary wants sex to be more spontaneous. He accuses her of forcing it, “You’re maneuvering. You’re always maneuvering. It’s not even chess—it’s more overt than that. You’re always making plans” (102). Still, Shiloh wants this, and Cary gives in because he can’t resist her. After buying condoms, they have sex in her bed. Being with Shiloh makes Cary feel like he’s losing control, which frightens him. Yet, he savors every moment with her throughout the weekend.

The day he leaves, he senses Shiloh’s mood has shifted. She seems both angry and sad and laughs at odd intervals. At the bus stop, she tells Cary that this weekend “[can] just be an island of good. For us.” She releases him to be free in his new life (107). Cary feels disappointed, and they don’t kiss or hug before he boards the bus. Shiloh writes to him, but her letters lack emotion. They struggle to connect over the phone due to their conflicting schedules, and soon, Cary hears from Mikey that Shiloh has a boyfriend. Nine months after his visit, he ceases all communication.

Back in the present, in Shiloh’s room at her mom’s house, she and Cary argue over why he doesn’t want to sleep with her. Shiloh thinks he feels as though he’s making a mistake. Cary claims that she’s taking it wrong. He says he doesn’t want to get hurt again like last time. Shiloh frames their intimacy like a one-night stand, and her lack of willingness to be sincere or commit hurts him. Shiloh’s mom comes home and overhears them arguing. She’s happy Cary is there and tells Shiloh to stop arguing and instead enjoy herself. Shiloh tells Cary that she isn't being insincere; instead, she is being realistic. Cary is leaving the next day, and they live far from each other. Cary thinks Shiloh is making all the decisions about their relationship just as she did 14 years ago.

Ryan brings the kids, Junie and Gus, home the following day. Gus cries when Ryan leaves, as he has recently been experiencing grief over their separation. Shiloh makes pancakes for the kids, and her mother, Gloria, offers to watch them while Shiloh showers. Gloria is sad Cary didn’t stay the night, but Shiloh says they argued. Gloria has always thought Shiloh and Cary slept together in high school. While showering, Shiloh recalls the previous night. She can’t understand why Cary never told her he wanted there to be more between them in the past. She’s had other chances to date since the divorce, but reconnecting with Cary has caused her pain. Shiloh finds Cary’s wallet under her bed and decides to return it since his mom lives within walking distance.

Cary’s mom, Lois, answers the door and invites Shiloh inside. Shiloh realizes that she’s never been inside his house. Cary is on the phone trying to sort out Lois’s unpaid bills. Lois is thrilled to see Shiloh and invites her to stay for a beverage, but Shiloh is uncomfortable and leaves the wallet on the table before excusing herself. Lois tells Cary to forget the bill until Monday, but he says he will be gone. Shiloh offers to take Lois to the utility offices to pay the bills in person as long as her kids can join them.

Cary squeezes into the backseat between Gus and Junie’s car seats while Lois rides up front with Shiloh. The children argue, and Gus begins crying, so Shiloh turns on Disney sing-along music. Lois sings along, and Junie’s mood improves. Cary struggles to get out of the car at each stop, and Shiloh apologizes. Cary says, “Stop apologizing. You’re saving the day” (128). While Cary is inside paying her bill, Lois praises him for being such a good son and caring for her. They all go to McDonald’s, and Lois promises to host them for dinner.

When Cary and Shiloh are juniors in high school, Shiloh helps Cary babysit his niece and nephew while he goes to work. Cary’s dryer breaks, and his clothes are wet, so Shiloh irons them to help them dry. Shiloh’s mom drives Cary back and forth to work and helps Shiloh watch the kids. She says it’s repayment for all the times Cary has driven Shiloh to school.

Cary walks to Shiloh’s house to thank her for helping with Lois. Though not experienced with kids, Cary carries a sleeping Gus inside. Shiloh invites Cary to stay for coffee. Cary apologizes to Shiloh for not being more sensitive to the complications of her life. Cary’s family situation is also complicated, and he struggles to help Lois manage her affairs while he’s in California. Being in the Navy forces Cary to move around a lot, but he plans to stay in the military until retirement.

Cary has never married and doesn’t have children. Shiloh explains that she never wanted children in high school, but it seemed like the next logical step after getting married. Having children has permanently changed Shiloh’s life, and Cary remarks that she’s a good mother. Knowing Cary’s leaving tomorrow, Shiloh asks him to return after the kids go to bed, and he agrees.

When Shiloh sees Cary standing in his uniform in her dorm lobby, she’s instantly attracted to him. Their kiss is her first, and after, she knows she can never resist him again. She wants to have sex with him so her first time will be memorable, and because she believes that Cary’s first love will always be the military, so their separation is inevitable. Having sex gives her hope that something might change and that “Maybe the two of them fit—were meant to fit” (146). Cary leaves on a bus and will be gone for six years. When she receives his letter, which sounded like a breakup letter, she’s already dating Ryan.

Cary returns after Shiloh puts the kids to bed. He brings a bottle of wine, but they both agree they shouldn’t drink and instead have tea and cake Shiloh made with her kids earlier in the day. Shiloh wants to understand more about Cary’s job, and he explains his position as an officer on the ship. Shiloh shares more about her work with the children’s theater, though she’s ashamed to admit that it’s been her only job since college. Shiloh steers the conversation back to the last time they saw one another. Cary attributes their fallout to being young and ignorant, but Shiloh disagrees. Shiloh is angry that he never told her how he felt. Cary argues that he showed her his intentions, but all Shiloh could see was that he was leaving. Cary is tired of having the same argument over and over again, and Shiloh cries because she feels they can never resolve their issues. Cary comforts her and then kisses her. They kiss for a long time, and Shiloh knows it’s their way of saying goodbye. Shiloh’s mom returns home from work and interrupts them. Cary says he’s glad he met Shiloh’s kids. He’s leaving for a six-month sail but will be home for Christmas. He hopes that he, Shiloh, and Mikey can get together. Shiloh drives Cary home, and they say goodbye.