Sideways Stories from Wayside School

Jason is the student with the second-largest mouth in class, after Joy, who is always chewing gum. One day, he tattles on Joy for chewing gum, and Mrs. Jewls admonishes her. She heads to the chalkboard to write Joy’s name under “Discipline.” Jason offers to write it for her, and while he is out of his seat, Joy places her chewed gum onto it. When he sits down, Jason finds he is stuck to his seat. Mrs. Jewls asks Joy to apologize, telling her she will be sent home on the kindergarten bus.

Several students try to pull Jason from the chair but cannot release him. Mrs. Jewls decides cold water might freeze the gum, thus freeing Jason. Despite his protestations, she douses Jason with a bucket of water. This only makes him wet and cold. She insists his pants must be cut from the chair and asks some of the students to carry the chair off to the bathroom to do so. They turn the chair upside down while Jason protests. Joy asks Mrs. Jewls if she will withhold punishment if Joy is able to get Jason unstuck. Mrs. Jewls agrees. Still upside down in the chair, Jason protests, but Joy kisses him on the nose. Jason comes unstuck, falling to the floor. Joy quietly moves to the chalkboard and erases her name.

Rondi is missing her two front teeth. Mrs. Jewls insists that Rondi’s front teeth are cute, which confuses Rondi. Other students compliment Rondi’s front teeth as well, which further frustrates her. She sarcastically asks if others find the hat that she is not wearing or the boots she is not wearing to be appealing, too. When others agree that these nonexistent items are nice, she grows increasingly frustrated. She places her head on her desk and covers herself with her arms so that no one can see her. Soon, the students around her begin laughing at a joke that Rondi did not tell. She is disciplined for telling jokes, despite her protestations. Rondi then offers to tell a joke if that’s what the class wants. She tells a long joke about a monkey searching for the perfect banana, but no one laughs when she finishes.

At recess, Rondi is still upset, and Louis attempts to cheer her up by asking her to show him her cute front teeth. She bites him, using the teeth she does not have: “And that kind of bite hurts the worst” (70).

It is a rainy day, and the classroom smells from the wet raincoats. Mrs. Jewls introduces Sammy, a new student. Two students insist he smells, so Mrs. Jewls disciplines them. She then asks Sammy to remove his raincoat. He refuses and calls Mrs. Jewls a name. She removes his raincoat, only to discover he is wearing a second raincoat underneath and that he smells worse without the first coat. Mrs. Jewls removes the second raincoat only to find another one underneath.

She continues to remove raincoats as Sammy continues to shout insults. Each time, Mrs. Jewls places a mark next to his name on the chalkboard. Sammy grows smaller and smaller as each raincoat is removed, but the foul smell increases. When Sammy is only two inches tall, Mrs. Jewls removes the final raincoat and discovers he is not a boy but a dead rat. She throws the rat out, insisting that rats are not allowed in her classroom. Sammy is the third rat she’s removed since the start of the school year.

Deedee is the student who prefers recess to spelling. She is known for disobeying the signs around the school, which prohibit jumping on the stairs and walking on the grass. Her intent is to arrive at recess to obtain the best ball (a green one) or the second best (a red one). Because she attends class on the 30th story, she cannot arrive before the students on lower stories claim them. The only ball left is always a yellow ball, which does not bounce. Deedee asks Mrs. Jewls if she may leave for recess early. Mrs. Jewls agrees to allow Deedee to do so if she can spell “Mississippi.” Because Deedee struggles with spelling, she is late for recess instead of early.

One day, Deedee devises a plan: She disguises herself as a dead rat by covering herself in cream cheese, jelly, nuts, and shredded cheese. Todd, who assists the plan, tells Mrs. Jewls of the dead rat, and Mrs. Jewls orders it immediately out of the classroom. Deedee finds herself first on the playground. Mrs. Jewls sends Todd home early on the kindergarten bus when she learns she has been tricked.

On the playground, Deedee bounces the green ball and argues with Louis, whom she is certain does not like her. Finally, she accepts that he truly does like her, and Louis insists he has always wanted to be friends with a dead rat.

DJ skips up to the classroom on the 30th story. He has a big, wide smile. Todd sees his smile, compliments it, and smiles himself. Mrs. Jewls is about to write Todd’s name on the chalkboard under “Discipline” but is distracted by DJ’s smile. One by one, each of the other children notices DJ’s smile and begin smiling themselves. The smile spreads throughout the classroom. Even Jason, who is upset because he is late, is no longer upset when he sees the smiling faces. DJ’s smile is so uplifting that the entire class breaks out in laughter. Mrs. Jewls asks DJ to explain what has caused him to be so happy, but DJ only shakes his head in refusal.

DJ finally agrees that, if a student can guess the reason for his happiness, he will reveal it. The children propose several possibilities, including swimming, his birthday, obtaining the green ball, and even falling in love. However, no one guesses correctly.

At recess, Louis also notices DJ’s smile and asks DJ to reveal why he is so happy. DJ tells him: “You need a reason to be sad. You don’t need a reason to be happy” (88).

John and Joe are best friends. John is smart but can only read upside down. He solves this problem by turning his book upside down. One day, Mrs. Jewls insists John must correct this problem to be able to read the chalkboard. She says he must learn to stand on his head. John has tried to stand on his head, but cannot, though Joe is able to stand on John’s head. Mrs. Jewls places a pillow on the floor and recruits Calvin and Nancy to stand on either side of John to prevent him from falling over. With this help, John can stand on his head and read the blackboard.

John is excited and asks Calvin to get him a book to read. When Calvin runs off, John falls but discovers he can now read right-side up. He decides that the fall must have “flipped [his] brain” (92), causing him to be able to read the “normal” way. Mrs. Jewls says he may take a piece of candy from atop her desk as a reward. John looks under her desk but cannot find any candy.

Leslie has two pigtails, ten fingers, and ten toes. She feels her toes are useless and asks other students how she might use her toes. Sharie suggests Leslie suck on them, but Leslie cannot reach her mouth with her toes. Dana suggests she use her toes to scratch her legs, but Leslie replies that her legs do not itch. Leslie asks Louis, the playground supervisor, who offers to buy her toes for five cents each. Louis explains that if she cuts off her toes for him, he can give them to the lunch teacher to make hot dogs. Leslie replies that she will consider this offer.

Leslie returns to the classroom and tells Mrs. Jewls of Louis’s offer. Mrs. Jewls is certain that Louis was only kidding, but Leslie has decided that, if Louis is indeed willing to pay fifty cents, the deal is a good one. She returns to Louis, who asks to inspect Leslie’s toes first. He decides he will pay five cents each for the two large toes but only three cents each for the rest as they are small. Leslie feels three cents is unfair, so Louis offers to buy only the two big toes. Leslie refuses, saying that the toes are to be sold only as a set. She walks away, and Louis offers to buy her pigtails for one dollar each. Leslie insists cutting off her hair is a “crazy” idea.

Because the building has no 19th story, Miss Zarves does not exist.

Kathy does not like anyone, including all the members of Mrs. Jewls’s class. She has reasons for disliking each student. She did like Sammy, the dead rat, however. Kathy owns a cat named Skunks, whom she fears will run away and therefore keeps locked in a closet. She often forgets to feed Skunks. One day, as Kathy opens the closet to get her shoes, Skunks runs out. Kathy now dislikes Mrs. Jewls because she had insisted that the cat would not run away.

Kathy also dislikes Dameon, who tried to teach her to catch a ball. Kathy insisted she would not be able to catch it and, upon closing her eyes as the ball came near, was hit by the ball. Kathy also dislikes Allison because Allison gave her a cookie she had baked. Kathy, certain the cookie would not taste good, refused to eat it and put it in her desk. Three weeks later, Kathy became hungry and resorted to eating the stale cookie, covered in dust. As with Mrs. Jewls and Dameon, Kathy then dislikes Allison, once she has proven Allison wrong about the cookie.

The narrator notes that Kathy even dislikes the reader, certain that the reader would not like Kathy if they ever were to meet her. In this way, Kathy is right about disliking everyone: “It’s funny how a person can be right all the time and still be wrong” (105).