Same As It Ever Was: A Novel

Julia’s husband, Mark is a relatively minor and flat character in the plot who serves mainly as a catalyst for change in Julia’s life and a sounding board for her emotions. Mark comes from a loving, stable family in La Crosse, Wisconsin, that doesn’t understand his passion for science. He works as a research scientist for his friend Brady’s venture capital firm. Mark is patient, kind, and loyal. He works hard to make Julia feel loved despite her acerbic and guarded nature. This is evident in little moments, such as when he calls her “beautiful” when she’s naked or when he “touch[es] her back for just a second with something like tenderness” (46) after a date.

Mark and Julia largely follow traditional gender roles in the marriage. He works while she stays at home, takes care of the children, and does most of the housework. However, he’s a good and dedicated father who loves his children and supports them entirely. Like many contemporary fathers, he’s an active parent, like when he “wears the baby carrier on his front” (341) or reads to Ben before bed. He has a particularly close relationship with Alma.

Julia perceives Mark as an ideal man. However, certain moments of dialogue suggest that he’s a little myopic and ignorant of how best to engage with his wife, such as when he asks her, “Don’t you just sometimes feel like our lives aren’t as—real as other people’s?” (292). He doesn’t entirely understand her unease about the normal, suburban life. Over time, he learns to accept Julia for who she is, and they work through their differences.

Julia and Mark’s first child is Ben. The novel describes his life from childhood to adulthood, primarily focusing on him at ages three and four and as a 24-year-old who is marrying his pregnant girlfriend, Sunny. As a child, Ben is attentive, sweet, and curious. He’s particularly attuned to his mother’s emotions, as is apparent when he cries after she starts crying. His curiosity is evident in his spending afternoons with Helen’s husband, Pete, “helping” him with work around the house.

These traits are evident in his adult years. Like his father, he has an academic bent, revealing his enduring curiosity about the world. Despite flare-ups and arguments regarding Ben’s decision to marry at a young age, he knows when his mother is upset and works to comfort her, as is evident when he thanks her for her hard work and “comes over to hug her” (402) after an argument Julia has with her mother. As an adult, Ben isn’t perfect. He makes the questionable choice to date his former student and can be a bit distracted and myopic. However, he’s loyal to Sunny and works hard to make the people in his life happy.

Nicknamed Ollie by her family, Alma is Julia and Mark’s younger child. The novel largely describes her at age 17 before she leaves for university. A creative, curious, spunky teen, she likes to dye her hair and spend time with her friends. She wins an award for proposing compostable cutlery in the high school cafeteria. She’s passionate about social justice and as an adult works for nonprofits.

While Alma gets along well with her father, like many teenage girls, Alma has a tense relationship with her mother and can be somewhat “mean.” She’s annoyed when Julia asks her questions about her sort-of girlfriend, Margo, or about her schoolwork. Julia describes the “power dynamic” between them as “not unlike that of a years-long hostage crisis” (12) in which Julia feels she must tiptoe around her daughter for fear of setting her off. However, Alma eventually learns to understand and respect her mother. She demonstrates how sensitive she can be when she feels empathy for Julia’s difficult relationship with Anita.

Julia’s mother, Anita acts as an antagonist in the early part of the novel. She’s a complex character whom the novel depicts in brief episodes throughout Julia’s life. As a young mother, Anita was relentlessly hard on Julia. When Julia, as a second grader, missed her cue in the school play, Anita declared that there was “no reason to celebrate” (379). After Julia’s father, Lawrence, left, Anita began drinking more and bringing men around. She didn’t actively prioritize Julia’s well-being.

When Anita and Julia reunite as adults, Julia realizes that Anita felt overwhelmed by her duties as a young, single mother, especially after Julia’s father left them, and that she did her best. Now older and in a more stable relationship with a better income, Anita demonstrates her capacity for change. She’s sober and attempts to support her daughter and grandchildren.