Queenie

The next day, Queenie tells Darcy about her night, portraying the sex with the Welshman as amazing and more adventurous than her sex with Tom. Gina asks them to get back to work and then asks Queenie to come have a chat. Queenie tries to lie and say she’s doing okay, but Gina won’t accept it. Gina tells Queenie that she should stop minimizing her pain and offers her some time off. However, Queenie can’t afford to take time off. After lunch, Gina is out of the office, and Queenie asks Darcy to go to the sexual health clinic with her. Darcy goes, reluctantly, but when they have to wait at the clinic for multiple hours, she becomes upset. Finally, Queenie is called in. The nurse questions her about her sexual history, and Queenie talks about the three men that she has had sex with recently. The nurse asks if they’re from Africa, saying that they must ask this question because Africans are more likely to have HIV. Queenie wishes she had a maternal figure with her. She asks the nurse for a pregnancy test. The nurse and his female chaperone tell Queenie that they can’t insert a speculum in her because she has internal bruising and tearing. She claims that it’s from rough sex. They ask her if she wants her friend to join her, and Queenie says no. They suspect that Queenie has experienced sexual violence and try to give her support. She promises that she hasn’t, and they ask her to return in a few weeks.

Back at work, Queenie goes outside for a cigarette and runs into Ted, who asks her to join him for a walk. As they walk, Queenie decides to open up to Ted about what’s going on in her life. He comforts her and kisses her; although she enjoys kissing him, she feels that it’s too intimate and asks him to stop.

For a few weeks, Queenie successfully slacks at work and ignores men. She returns to the sexual health clinic, and as she waits, Guy texts her that he wants to have sex with her again. She asks him how he’s doing, and he tells her that he’s only interested in talking about sex. A health advisor named Elspeth calls Queenie in. Very clinical and straightforward, she tells Queenie that they can refer her to a counseling service. Queenie is upset that Elspeth, too, is suggesting that she’s being abused. Elspeth responds that Queenie’s “ethnic group puts [her] at a higher risk of being in an abusive relationship” (118) and reminds her to use protection.

Queenie goes to lunch with Cassandra, who’s excited to talk about a new man she met. They’ve been hanging out constantly but are waiting to have sex. Queenie’s jealous. Cassandra lends Queenie more money.

That night, Queenie lets Guy come back. She later wonders why she didn’t make him use protection.

Kyazike convinces Queenie to go out clubbing, but the club they go to is full of white people. They talk about how gentrified Brixton has become and go to a different club. There, a white girl touches Queenie’s hair. Kyazike defends Queenie, pushing the girl off. A bouncer kicks Queenie and Kyazike out. Kyazike tells him off for letting people treat Black people like “‘animals in a petting zoo’” (123). Queenie thinks about how the only people who should touch her hair are herself and the hairdresser.

Queenie is working on a pitch about how readily white liberal people post content about deeply traumatic events without considering whom it might impact. Ted emails her. Ignoring him, she and takes her pitch to Gina, who tells her that the story needs more drive and then suggests that Queenie instead write about “‘ten of the best black dresses Me Too movement supporters have worn at awards ceremonies’” (125). Queenie isn’t thrilled about this idea. After work, Queenie looks after Maggie’s child, Diana, so that Maggie can go on a date. Queenie and Diana must leave because their grandmother has a headache. They go to Queenie’s place, where Diana critiques Queenie’s clothing and makeup. When she finds a film camera in Queenie’s room, she doesn’t know what it is; Queenie feels old. She turns on the TV, but Diana spends the whole time tweeting, so Queenie instead gives her a book and some dinner. Ted emails Queenie again telling her how much better he is than Tom. She writes back that the two of them are essentially strangers and that Tom will return to her. He responds, “I wouldn’t keep you waiting” (129). Diana asks for a headscarf as she starts to fall asleep. She asks about Tom and suggests that Queenie might not have been prepared to allow a man into her life yet. Queenie texts Tom, saying that they haven’t spoken for nearly three months. The next day, Tom replies, “I’m sorry,” and Queenie decides to meet up with Ted at a park.

Ted and Queenie email back and forth because he’s concerned that someone saw them hooking up at the park and may report him as a sex offender. Queenie tells him that she feels guilty. After work, she buys a Christmas present for Tom “partly out of guilt, but mainly out of ritual” (132). She thinks back to the second Christmas she spent with Tom and his family. They were all playing a game when Tom’s uncle decided they should split into teams based on people wearing “‘dark shirts versus light shirts’” (133). Queenie was wearing a white dress, but when she went to stand with the “light shirt” team, Tom’s uncle told her that she should be the scorekeeper because “‘there’s a bit more dark on (her)’” (133). Tom told his uncle that Queenie would be on his team.

Queenie is at Cassandra’s family’s Hanukkah party, where she notices everyone has a partner except her; Cassandra is nervously waiting for her boyfriend to arrive; he hasn’t met her family yet. Cassandra’s father, Jacob, is a beloved figure to Queenie and consoles her about her break with Tom. Queenie asks Cassandra if she’s had sex with her boyfriend yet, and Cassandra tells Queenie to be less vulgar, claiming that their relationship is about more than sex. Cassandra’s boyfriend texts her that he won’t make it to the party; Jacob hugs Cassandra and then scoops an uncomfortable Queenie into the hug, too. Cassandra tells Queenie that she was planning to have sex with her boyfriend that night. Queenie tries to comfort her, but Cassandra becomes irritable, telling Queenie to focus on herself.

As Queenie leaves, she lets Jacob give her another hug. He tells her that Cassandra is upstairs because she’s upset. Queenie is jealous of how caring Jacob is as she thinks about all the men, including her dad, who have neglected her. She texts Guy. He demands that she shave her legs before he comes over. When Queenie gets home, Guy is already there. He refuses her kiss, and when she makes a joke, he tells her that it’s a bad joke. Inside, he asks her to shave once again. He tells her that he likes how Black women’s fat sits on their bodies. Once she finishes shaving, he has fallen asleep.

Queenie thinks of her first Christmas with Tom’s family, which was her first Christmas with a nuclear family; her father always spent it with his other family, and the hostel where her mother lived didn’t permit long visits. Tom’s mother invited her to dinner, and Queenie listened to the family talk about the child they “sponsored” in Africa. Queenie was very excited about the occasion and bought presents for everyone. On Christmas morning, Tom woke her up and gave her a silk headscarf that he went to Brixton to purchase.

Queenie falls asleep next to Guy while, thinking about Tom. Guy wakes her up to say that she’s talking about someone named Tom in her sleep. She tries to make conversation with him about Christmas, but he ignores her, forcing her hand into his pants. Queenie tries to cut things off with Guy but he tells her there’s nothing to end because they’re just having sex. He makes jokes and convinces her to have sex.