The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here for?

The essence of life is to learn how to love, as God is love. The author explains that learning to love unselfishly is a challenging task against human nature; hence, a lifetime is provided for this learning. The foundational command of God is to love others as oneself, with a particular emphasis on loving those within God’s family.

God insists on special love and attention to other believers because He wants His family to be known for its love, which is the greatest witness to the world. Jesus emphasized that love for each other, not doctrinal beliefs, is what demonstrates discipleship to the world.

The process of learning to love others in God’s family is essential preparation for eternity. God assigns “family responsibilities” to train individuals in this aspect, with the primary responsibility being the practice of loving each other. This task of learning and practicing love is portrayed as the most important lesson and purpose of life on earth​​.

The concept that individuals are created for community, not isolation, is discussed. Being part of God’s family, the church, is essential for fulfilling God’s purposes. The message is that believers are called to belong, not just believe: “You are members of God’s very own family, citizens of God’s country, and you belong in God’s household with every other Christian” (132). The Bible’s portrayal of the church is as an interconnected body, where each member is vital for the whole.

Warren addresses the importance of being part of a local church, and he likens an individual’s spiritual life to an organ in a body. Just as an organ cannot survive without the body, a Christian’s spiritual life will wither without the connection to a local church. The church is described as more than a building; it is a living body, an organism where each member contributes to its function and health.

The church’s eternal significance and durability are emphasized in the quote, “The church will outlive this universe, and so will your role in it” (134). Christ’s commitment to building His church is highlighted, along with the directive to love the church as Jesus does. The church congregation is considered God’s family,​​ a concept meant to instill a sense of belonging and responsibility toward the church.

The author discusses the concept of fellowship as a shared life experience among believers. He clarifies that true fellowship extends beyond superficial interactions and involves deep, meaningful connections: “Real fellowship happens when people get honest about who they are and what is happening in their lives” (142). Authentic fellowship is described as involving honesty, vulnerability, and mutual support.

Warren emphasizes the importance of small groups within the church, stating that real community occurs in these smaller settings rather than in large gatherings. He argues that every Christian should be involved in a small group for genuine fellowship and spiritual growth.

Four key aspects of real fellowship are outlined: authenticity, mutuality, sympathy, and mercy. Authenticity involves being open and honest about one’s struggles and failures. Mutuality refers to the interdependence among believers, where they support and encourage each other. Sympathy is about sharing and understanding each other’s pain, while mercy involves offering forgiveness and grace.

The author posits the idea that fellowship is essential for spiritual health and growth. He stresses the need for forgiveness in maintaining fellowship, as unresolved conflicts and bitterness can destroy the communal fabric: “You can’t have fellowship without forgiveness” (144). Believers are encouraged to embrace fellowship as a place of grace and mutual support​​.

The roles of commitment and personal choices in developing a strong Christian community are emphasized. Warren highlights that the Holy Spirit initiates real fellowship among believers, but its growth depends on individual efforts and decisions. Many people may not have the relational skills needed for true fellowship due to their upbringing in families with unhealthy relationships. Therefore, they must learn these skills, and the New Testament offers guidance on living together in God’s family.

The author argues that cultivating a genuine Christian community requires honesty, even if it means addressing uncomfortable issues or speaking painful truths. Avoiding problems or failing to speak up against harmful behaviors does not promote love or growth. Warren also discusses the importance of humility in fostering fellowship, as pride can create barriers between people. Humility involves recognizing and admitting one’s weaknesses, being open to correction, and prioritizing others’ needs over one’s own.

Furthermore, the author considers the significance of courtesy in community building. This includes respecting differences, being considerate of others’ feelings, and being patient with challenging individuals. He also stresses the importance of confidentiality for creating a safe and trusting environment where people can share their deepest concerns and hurts.

Finally, Warren asserts that maintaining and nurturing community relationships requires frequent and regular interaction. He suggests that members of a small group or church make a covenant that includes key characteristics like authenticity, mutuality, sympathy, mercy, honesty, humility, courtesy, confidentiality, and regular meetings. Through these commitments, Warren believes that the benefits of shared life outweigh the costs and prepare individuals for heaven.

The author believes that relationships are always worth restoring, as life’s primary purpose is to learn how to love. He presents the idea that God has tasked individuals with the ministry of restoring relationships, a concept recurrent throughout the New Testament. According to Warren, the ability to get along with others is a mark of spiritual maturity.

The concept of peacemaking is discussed, differentiating it from conflict avoidance or appeasement. Warren clarifies that peacemaking involves actively seeking to resolve conflicts, a task that requires courage and is essential for spiritual growth. Conflict resolution is not commonly taught, even though it’s crucial for being part of God’s family. Seven steps to restore a broken fellowship are outlined:

1. Talk to God before addressing the conflict with the person.
2. Take the initiative to resolve the conflict, regardless of who is at fault.
3. Listen to the other person’s feelings before trying to solve the disagreement.
4. Confess your part of the conflict.
5. Focus on resolving the problem rather than fixing the blame.
6. Cooperate as much as possible to achieve peace.
7. Prioritize reconciliation over resolution, understanding that agreement on all issues is not always possible.

Restoring relationships requires considerable effort and is a key part of living in peace with others. Working toward peace aligns with God’s will, making peacemakers true children of God.

Warren discusses the role of individuals in maintaining unity within a church community. Gossip causes harm, and the author advocates for encouraging direct communication. The approach to resolving conflicts is outlined as a gradual process, starting with private discussions and escalating to involving the church if necessary. Warren highlights the importance of supporting and respecting church leaders, acknowledging the challenges they face in mediating conflicts and guiding the congregation. He also provides guidance on handling divisive individuals, emphasizing gentle teaching and, if needed, eventual removal from the church to preserve harmony.

The responsibility of each church member to actively protect and promote unity is underlined. Warren suggests that prioritizing the community’s needs over personal preferences and practicing unselfishness within the church are essential for a healthy, growing church environment. The benefits of a unified and loving church are exemplified through the growth and positive impact experienced by churches that successfully foster such an environment.

The day’s reflections culminate in a personal challenge to contribute to the church’s unity, framed by a specific point to ponder about individual responsibility, a verse from Romans focusing on harmony, and a question urging self-reflection on one’s contribution to church unity.