P.S. I Still Love You

This chapter is a letter that Lara Jean writes to John. In the letter, she tells him how she never intended for him to get her love letter and how she used to write private letters for many boys she liked: letters which Kitty then distributed.

Lara Jean reminisces in her letter about a pizza party that they had back in middle school and about how pushy Peter was about eating the last slice of pizza. She asks John to please return her love letter to her, because she now has all of her other love letters back. She signs her letter, “Your Friend.”

After a date, Lara Jean and Peter go up to a treehouse on her neighbors’ property. Lara Jean recalls how their group of friends, including John, used to spend time there as middle schoolers.

Lara Jean and Peter kiss for a while, then Lara Jean tells Peter that she is not ready for sex yet. She questions him about his sex drive, asking him if she is a disappointment after Genevieve, with whom she knows he had sex. Peter is annoyed but understanding. He says that he doesn’t want to talk about Genevieve.

Lara Jean remembers a time capsule that their group of friends all made together in middle school, then buried beneath the tree with the treehouse. She asks Peter if he remembers the time capsule as well. He suggests that they dig the capsule up, but she tells him that they should wait until their high school graduation as planned.

This chapter opens with another letter from John, expressing mock outrage that he is not the only boy whom Lara Jean liked. His letter is followed by a letter from Lara Jean, admitting that she did like a lot of boys and asking him, again, to send her back her original love letter. It is a friendly and slightly flirtatious exchange.

Lara Jean eats breakfast oatmeal with Kitty; their father has gone early to the hospital where he works. Noticing Lara Jean glancing repeatedly out of the window, Kitty asks her what she is waiting for. Lara Jean confides in Kitty about her letter exchange with John, and Kitty reminds Lara Jean that she already has a boyfriend. Kitty then goes to visit Ms. Rothschild, ignoring Lara Jean’s warnings to give their neighbor some space.

Lara Jean receives a third letter from John, this one enclosing her love letter. Reading her own letter again, Lara Jean is embarrassed and surprised by its intensity. She wonders if her feelings for John and Peter ever overlapped and recalls that it was Genevieve who predicted—back when the two of them were still friends—that she and John would get together one day.

Lara Jean talks to her friend Lucas about John. She asks Lucas if he thinks that she is cheating on Peter, and he tells her that it depends on the letter; he asks her if it was the same kind of letter that she once wrote to him before she found out that he was gay. Lara Jean tells Lucas that she used to have a crush on John, and Lucas confesses that he once did as well. He tells Lara Jean that she is lucky, as a straight woman, to have so many romantic options.

Lara Jean’s father tells her and Kitty over dinner that new neighbors will be moving in next door and will probably be taking down the tree house. This causes Lara Jean to wonder about the fate of the time capsule and if she and her group should unearth it before the treehouse is destroyed. Kitty tells her that she should have one last party in the treehouse, and she should not invite Genevieve.

Lara Jean remembers old gatherings in the treehouse. She remembers a peaceful afternoon of reading with John, who is bookish and studious like she is (unlike Peter). She also remembers a time when Genevieve was upset about mysterious family difficulties, and how Peter—who was her boyfriend at the time—comforted her. She remembers when Genevieve moved out of their neighborhood and when Genevieve suddenly dropped her in the eighth grade.

Lara Jean discovers that Josh has a new girlfriend after seeing them kissing goodbye in his driveway one afternoon. The new girlfriend’s name is Liza, and Lara Jean considers her to be pretty, but not as pretty as Margot. She confronts Josh about Liza, and he tells her that he and Margot would never have stayed together no matter what. Lara Jean resolves to stay out of Josh’s private business.

Chris comes over to the Song Covey household with newly dyed lavender hair. She is insecure about her new hair color and asks Lara Jean if she thinks it looks bad; Lara Jeans tells her that she just needs a Korean hair mask to make her hair less brittle.

When Lara Jean comes back into her bedroom with the hair mask, she sees that Chris has been going through her shoebox where she keeps all of her valentines. Chris has been reading Peter’s poem to her, and tells Lara Jean that the poem was plagiarized from Edgar Allen Poe’s “Annabel Lee.”

Lara Jean and Peter have a fight when Lara Jean tells him that she cannot go to his lacrosse game, because she has a commitment that day at Bellevue. Peter says that he might not come to the time capsule party that she has planned for the following day. She confronts him about the plagiarized poem, and he claims that she never asked him if he wrote it. The two of them reconcile eventually, but Lara Jean still feels uneasy.

It is the day of the time capsule party. Lara Jean digs up the time capsule box and washes it beforehand. John is the first guest to arrive, and there is some awkwardness and romantic tension between them. They go up into the treehouse together, and Lara Jean brings the snacks, which are all foods that they used to eat as middle school students.

Chris arrives along with their friend Trevor; Peter then arrives with Genevieve, even though she was not invited. Lara Jean is furious with them both but resolves to hide her anger. Genevieve says hello to everyone but Lara Jean. The old friends take turns unearthing items from the time capsule. Lara Jean finds a friendship bracelet that Genevieve once made for her, Peter finds a baseball, and John finds the Orioles cap that he used to constantly wear. Genevieve claims that she put nothing in the capsule.

The group recalls when they used to play “Assassin,” and John suggests that they play the game again for old time’s sake. Genevieve comes up with the idea that the winner be granted a wish from all of the losers. The group draws names, and Lara Jean discovers that her target is John.

After the time capsule party, Peter follows an angry Lara Jean into her house. She asks Peter why he brought Genevieve to her party, and he is evasive, telling her only that Genevieve was upset and needed a friend. He then asks Lara Jean what is going on between her and John, and she tells him that they are only friends. Peter asks her if she wants to break up, but they both back down from this idea and reconcile. They kiss, and Lara Jean is relieved.

Chris and Lara Jean team up for the first round of “Assassin.” Chris enlists Lara Jean to help her entrap Trevor, who is her target, by faking a sprained ankle in his neighborhood. He stops his car to get out and help her, and Chris then sneaks up on him and tags him.

Trevor then gives up the name of his target to Chris, as are the rules of the game. Chris will not reveal her target to Lara Jean, though she insists that it is not Lara Jean herself. Wary, and wanting to win the game this time, Lara Jean tells Chris to drive back home in her car, and she will go home on her sister’s bike.

Lara Jean and Lucas are standing around her locker eating popsicles when Chris interrupts them. She reveals that John has just tagged her, and he now has her target, Peter. She further reveals that she had been scared to tag Peter herself because he is always with Genevieve.

Chris and Lucas then both look at Lara Jean with pity. In order to deflect this pity, she tells them that she realizes that Peter and Genevieve are still friends, and Genevieve is going through a hard time. She reflects to herself that since she has John for a target, either Genevieve or Peter must have her name, and they have perhaps teamed up together.

At a Belleview cocktail party that Lara Jean has organized, she is surprised to see John among the guests. It turns out that he is Stormy’s great-grandson, whom Stormy has been trying to get Lara Jean to date. Lara Jean and John are happy to see each other, but wary as well; each thinks that the other might tag them.

Stormy gets the pair to slow dance. Lara Jean resolves to tag John, but first they chat. John admits to being surprised that Lara Jean is dating Peter, and her letters had led him to believe that she liked him. Lara Jean admits to having liked a lot of boys. She tags him at the end of their dance, and he tells her that his own target was Peter. He also tells her that his wish, had he won the game, would have been for her to bake a chocolate cake with his name spelled out on it in Reese’s Pieces.

Lara Jean now has Peter as a target. Over the phone, he begs her to come over to his house—houses are neutral zones in the game—but she refuses. She resolves instead to surprise him at his next lacrosse game and tag him then.

She dresses up as a fan and has John drive her to Peter’s game, which takes place at his school. While waiting for Peter in John’s car, John tells Lara Jean that he had planned to ask her out for the middle school formal but lost his nerve at the last minute. Lara Jean notices how popular John seems to be with the kids at his school, including the girls.

Peter’s team bus arrives, but Lara Jean is surprised to see that Peter doesn’t get off the bus. Another player tells her that he had a family emergency. John drives Lara Jean to Peter’s house, where they see him hugging Genevieve on his front lawn. Lara Jean is too upset to talk much more to John; she resolves to invite Peter over that night and to tag him and confront him at the same time.

Lara Jean confronts Peter at her house. He tells her that the hug with Genevieve was innocent but admits to her that it was Genevieve who posted the video. Lara Jean also guesses that he had been waiting for Genevieve in the hot tub on the night of the ski trip, but was surprised by Lara Jean instead.

Peter continues to insist that Genevieve has family problems that he is unable to reveal to her. Lara Jean tells Peter that if she wins the game, her wish will be that nothing had ever happened between the two of them. She tags him, he gives up Genevieve’s name as a target, and they break up.

Lara Jean is upset over Peter, and her sadness makes her miss her mother. She nevertheless involves herself in planning a USO-themed cocktail party at Belleview. She gets Janette to reserve the dining room at the center for the evening, telling her that it will make Belleview look more desirable to prospective residents of the home and their families.

During the party-planning, Stormy and Alicia have a spat over decorations; Alicia wants to have a table dedicated to Japanese prisoners of war, which Stormy finds too morbid for a party. The tension causes Lara Jean to burst into tears, which causes the older women to drop their fight and comfort her. They both recall their own youthful romances and try to soothe Lara Jean by reminding her that she is still young.

As Lara Jean is curling her hair one night, Chris surprises her by climbing through her bedroom window. Chris tells her that it is just as well that she and Peter broke up, and she should start dating John. She also tells Lara Jean that it was probably a good, toughening experience for her to have gone out with Peter, and she was overly childish beforehand.

After a chemistry class the following day, Peter asks Lara Jean for her heart-shaped necklace back: the Valentine’s gift that he had given her. She fumbles taking off the necklace, and he has to help her remove it.

Kitty asks Lara Jean about the break-up with Peter. At first, she blames Lara Jean for the break-up, accusing her of cheating on Peter with John. However, Kitty softens when Lara Jean starts crying, and she gives her a hug. Lara Jean resolves not to tell Kitty about Genevieve posting the video, because she wants Kitty to stay innocent. 

Lara Jean’s father also asks her about the break-up while the two of them are washing dishes together after dinner. He tries to reassure her by telling her that there is no one perfect person for anyone; however, Lara Jean reflects that her father has dated no one since her mother died.

Lara Jean enlists John to help her take out Genevieve. He comes over to her house to strategize, but the two of them instead end up discussing the past and circling around the subject of their burgeoning relationship. They recall an old game of “spin the bottle” in middle school, and John confesses to Lara Jean that he had hoped to kiss her (which he did). He then “unequivocally” declares to her that he still likes her (270).

Kitty, who is also home, is hostile to John at first because she is loyal towards Peter. However, she warms to him when he asks for her advice on targeting Genevieve.

Lara Jean is surprised when Peter arrives at her house one morning to pick up Kitty for school. He ignores Lara Jean and seems to be there only for Kitty. Afterwards, Kitty confirms that he never mentioned Lara Jean during their drive to school.

Lara Jean plans an elaborate slumber party for Kitty’s 10th birthday. In the middle of the party, she notices her sister looking despondent; she takes her aside and asks her what is wrong. Kitty complains to her that her best friend now seems to prefer another girl and is ignoring her at her own party. She also asks Lara Jean how her friendship with Genevieve ended.

Lara Jean admits that friendships between teenaged girls can get complicated, because different girls mature at different rates. However, she cheers Kitty up by telling her that all of this is a part of growing up and becoming a free and independent adult.

Lara Jean and John are planning a USO-themed cocktail party at Belleview retirement home. When the weather turns snowy outside, Stormy commands both teenagers to stay at the retirement home overnight. She tells them that Lara Jean can stay with her, and John can stay with Mr. Morales, another patient in the home.

After both of their roommates have fallen asleep, Lara Jean and John sneak outside together to play in the snow. They have a flirtatious snow fight. Later, warming up in the retirement home’s downstairs parlor, the two of them notice Stormy sneaking into Mr. Morales’ room. Lara also learns that John comes from a humbler background than she’d thought, and each learns that the other is still a virgin.

The following morning, Stormy asks Lara Jean if she and John enjoyed the snow. Stormy admits that she planned the whole evening just so that the plans would be broken, saying that romance is always more fun when there are a few “roadblocks” (289).

Lara Jean calls Chris to ask her if she can borrow her Rosie the Riveter poster for the USO-themed party. Chris mentions that she needs a job of her own, and Lara Jean suggests that she dress up as a cigarette girl for the party. Chris turns her down when she hears that the work will be unpaid and that the party will take place on a Friday night.

Lara Jean asks Chris if she has heard anything from Genevieve and if Genevieve is even playing the “Assassin” game at all. Chris is suddenly evasive and makes an excuse to hang up the phone.

With Kitty’s help, Lara Jean dresses up in a World War II-themed outfit for the party. John picks her up at her house, driving his father’s red Mustang for the occasion and dressed in a soldier’s uniform. Everyone in Lara Jean’s family is dazzled by his appearance.

The Belleview party is a success. Lara Jean and John dance a swing dance together, and Stormy and Alicia both counsel her to get together with him. After the party, Lara Jean is ambushed outside the nursing home by Genevieve and Peter, walking arm in arm. Peter is surprised to see Lara Jean and says that he had only been taking Genevieve to visit with a friend of her grandmother’s. However, it is clear that Genevieve intends to tag Lara. She nearly does so, but John drives up in his Mustang and rescues Lara Jean at the last minute. In the car driving home, the two kiss for the first time.

Lara Jean goes to Ms. Rothschild’s house after the party to pick up Kitty, who has spent the evening there. She tells Ms. Rothschild everything about the party and asks her if she is interested in their father. She tries to interest her in their father’s good qualities, and Ms. Rothschild finally says that she will go on a date with their father if he asks her. Ms. Rothschild and Lara Jean also talk about love, families, and siblings.

Later, Lara Jean skypes Margot in Scotland, who is getting ready for school (since it is morning in Scotland). Lara Jean tells Margot about her night and asks her older sister if it is normal to have feelings for more than one boy. Margot tells Lara Jean that she is “in love with love” (311).

Lara Jean takes part in a PTA-sponsored cakewalk at her school. She bakes an elaborate caramel cake and makes a playlist of sugar-themed songs for the cakewalk. Setting up in the school’s music room beforehand, she sees Peter’s mother, who is friendly but cool. Later, she sees Peter accompanying his younger brother, Owen.

Lara Jean and Peter are mutually wary and suspicious. Lara Jean asks Peter if he is back together with Genevieve, and he in turn asks Lara Jean if she has gotten together with John. She admits that she kissed John once and that the kiss had nothing to do with getting revenge.

Owen, meanwhile, wins Lara Jean’s cake in the cakewalk. Peter angrily tells Owen to exchange the cake for another one, even though Owen plainly wants Lara Jean’s cake and was angling to get it. Kitty, who has come in to keep Lara Jean company, enforces the rules, and Lara Jean is grateful for her sister’s support.

Lara Jean sees Genevieve in her car and decides to follow her in her own car, determined to tag her and to win the game. She follows Genevieve to Genevieve’s father’s office, surprised that Genevieve should be going there on a weekend.

Waiting outside for Genevieve in the parking lot, Lara Jean sees Genevieve’s father come outside with Anna Hicks, a young woman whom Lara Jean recognizes from Margot’s class. Anna Hicks and Genevieve’s father walk together to Anna Hicks’ car, and Lara Jean sees the two of them passionately kiss goodbye.

Genevieve comes outside the office building and spies Lara Jean in her car. Correctly guessing that Lara Jean has seen everything, she comes up to her and angrily confronts her. Lara Jean is ready to quit the game, but Genevieve takes Lara Jean’s hand and forcibly tags herself with them, telling Lara Jean that she has won and that the game is now over.

Lara Jean reflects on the Korean concept of jung: a lingering attachment even to those whom you now dislike. She doesn’t blame Genevieve for exploiting Peter’s loyalty, when people close to her have been disloyal.

It is almost Lara Jean’s 17th birthday. In their kitchen, her father serenades her with the song “Sixteen Going on Seventeen” from The Sound of Music movie and musical. This leads to a discussion about “The Sound of Music,” which Kitty—who is there in the kitchen with them—has never seen. Their father suggests that they all watch the movie together that night, but Kitty has a date with a friend, and Lara Jean has a commitment at Belleview.

Both girls suggest inviting Ms. Rothschild over to watch the movie instead, and Lara Jean admits that they both asked her separately about dating him. Their father finally agrees to ask her out, but he will ask her out for coffee first, rather than to watch a video.

It is Lara Jean’s 17th birthday. She has a festive breakfast with her father and Kitty and skypes Margot in Scotland. At school, her friends Chris and Lucas give her donuts with candles on them.

While Peter ignores her as usual in chemistry class, he suddenly interrupts her meeting with John after school. John has left his own school early to pick up Lara Jean and to give her a present: a snow globe, with a tiny couple in it, clearly meant to represent the two of them and to recall their evening in the nursing home. Peter then comes striding up to give Lara Jean a present of his own: the necklace with the heart-shaped locket that he had asked to have back earlier.

Though Lara Jean tells Peter that she can’t accept his gift, Peter announces his intent to win her back and tells her that she broke his heart. Later, driving home with John, Lara Jean finds that she is unable to dismiss Peter. John senses her preoccupation and asks her if she is still in love with Peter; she tells him she is and that she is sorry.

Lara Jean encounters Genevieve in a high school bathroom. Lara Jean apologizes for their encounter at Genevieve’s father’s office, but Genevieve remains hostile. She tells Lara Jean that she is on to her “sugary sweet routine” (350). Lara Jean points out that Genevieve was the one who posted the hot tub video, and Genevieve reveals that she has harbored bitterness towards Lara Jean since the seventh grade, when she saw Lara Jean kissing Peter.

Lara Jean asks Genevieve if they cannot put old events behind them and be friends again, and Genevieve tells her scornfully to “grow up” (332). She tells Lara Jean that even if she waited until eighth grade to officially drop her, she no longer considered her a friend ever since she saw her with Peter. Lara Jean does not believe that Genevieve is telling the complete truth but is more inclined to sympathize with her than she has been in the past.

Lara Jean spends a last evening in the treehouse, which is due to be torn down the next day. She reflects on the childish things that she has outgrown, including the treehouse. On the treehouse floor, she finds the friendship bracelet that she once gave Genevieve, and she realizes that this is what Genevieve denied putting in the time capsule on the day of the party. She realizes that this is a sign that she was once important to Genevieve and that Genevieve was hurt as well.

Peter then joins Lara Jean in the treehouse. She has invited him over to tell him that she now knows Genevieve’s secret and wants to make amends. Peter tells Lara Jean that Genevieve’s father has had affairs before, and Genevieve has sometimes hurt herself because of it. He tells Lara Jean that he was addicted to feeling needed by Genevieve, and he was also afraid of corrupting Lara Jean and letting her down.

Peter asks Lara Jean what her wish is, since she won the “Assassin” game. Lara Jeans tells him that she wishes that they could get back together. The two of them kiss, resolving to commit to one another but not to make any sort of contract this time.