One! Hundred! Demons!

At 14, Barry meets a boy whose face she now barely remembers, except for a chipped tooth. She and the boy take speed, drink wine, and kiss. He is a “laughing sort of person” (161). She recalls quotidian moments with him, like all her friends saying “Hi, Bob,” to him. Bob is the first of Barry’s friends to die by suicide.

The summer she meets Bob, Barry acts out. She spends the summer out in her best friend Jeannie’s wealthy neighborhood, smoking pot and drinking with groups of other teens. All summer, Barry often kisses Bob, but never goes to his house, or takes him to hers. When Jeannie tells Barry that Bob died, Barry cries but feels blank. Barry waits for emotion to hit her but continues to feel nothing.

When Barry is an adult, another friend dies by suicide. When Barry hears cicadas in the trees, she thinks of their whirring noise the previous year when the friend died. The night he dies, Barry hears his mother screaming in the street. Barry offers to clean up the remains, and people commend her for being kind and brave. The real motivation, however, is to address the blankness she felt about Bob. In the room where her friend died, Barry sees the evidence of the suicide, but also surprisingly, two fresh nectarines and a couple of leftover pits. She is shocked by their reality. As Barry draws this chapter, she hears cicadas and feels emotional.

Barry and her husband have three dogs that bark when the doorbell rings. When they bark, she immediately yells and repeats her command to stop despite the dog books counseling her not to. The dog books never mention the two variables in every equation: the dog’s nature and the owner’s nature. Barry draws herself yelling at the dog repeatedly and her mother yelling at her repeatedly. Barry thinks of bad moments from her childhood, such as getting yelled at, as well as good moments with her kind teacher Mrs. Lesene.

Barry has two carefree dogs and one troubled dog named Ooola. Ooola is like Barry: “observant, moody, socially unpredictable, AKA ‘artistic’” (174). Ooola’s previous owner threw her out of the window, breaking her leg. Barry feels connected to Ooola because they both grew up in violent houses. Ooola has already been adopted once and returned when Barry finds her.

Barry remembers a second grade teacher who showed her kindness. At that time, Barry is having mental breakdowns over small things. Mrs. Lasene is kind and patient. She encourages Barry to draw and paint. Barry’s mother calls Barry stupid for drawing a picture for her teacher. Young Barry calls the family dog stupid, copying her mother’s patterns.

When Barry brings Ooola home, the dog immediately displays behavioral issues with growling and snapping. Barry tries what the dog books recommend—using pinch collars and putting Ooola in submissive poses. None of it works. Then Barry tries a new method, giving Ooola a chance to start over and “be a baby” (179). Ooola gets better and reveals that she is a good dog.