Once

“‘And Adolf Hitler?’ I whisper. ‘Father Ludwik says Adolf Hitler keeps us safe too.’”

Felix ironically invokes Adolph Hitler in his prayers. This is derived from Father Ludwik, the head priest at the orphanage. Whether Ludwik is actually a Nazi sympathizer or is faking it is unclear: Swearing allegiance to the Nazis would keep his Catholic orphanage safe. 

“There’s a gang of thugs going around the country burning Jewish books. Mum and Dad, wherever in Europe they are, probably don’t even know they are in danger.”

Felix is not yet able to correlate the Nazis with atrocities larger than book burning. He is unaware that it is not the fact that his parents are booksellers but that they are Jewish that puts them in danger. He wants to try to hide his parents’ books. 

“‘Just don’t go,’ he says. ‘You’ll regret it if you do. Really regret it.’”

Jankiel wants to tell Felix about the real danger that the Nazis pose to Jews, but he has promised Mother Minka that he will say nothing. Felix will not be swayed by his friend’s concern. However, Jankiel’s attitude gives Felix misgivings about leaving.

“People who feel sad make careless mistakes and get caught. They trip over tree roots and slide down mountains on their heads and break their glasses and the nuns hear them swearing.”

Felix feels encumbered by his concern for making Dodie sad. However, his concern for his parents is greater. This quote also reveals an insight into his thinking: He is aware of the potential pitfalls that could get him caught as he makes his escape from the orphanage.

“That poor soldier. Tonight in the barracks, he’ll hardly be able to swallow his dinner he’ll be so upset. All he wanted to do is play a little trick, and now he thinks he’s shot an innocent kid.”

This quote demonstrates Felix’s naiveté and his capacity for empathy. He feels sorry for a soldier who fired at him because he invents a story explaining to himself how the soldier must feel. Felix is unaware that the Nazi was likely aiming to kill him; his gun did not merely discharge because of the rough road.

“All the books in the shop are gone.”

After a long journey, Felix discovers that his parents’ shop is empty, and their flat has been taken over by a non-Jewish family. Felix enters into denial about his parents’ fate. At each step of his journey hereafter, he comes up with an excuse to cope with the continued absence of his parents. 

“‘All right, you be a Jew,’ she says. ‘That means you have to be sad ‘cause the Nazis took your mum and dad away.’” 

Children internalize the rhetoric that adult society exposes them to. The fact that these children made a game out of the Nazis abducting Jews shows the depth to which the wave of antisemitism has swept Poland. For Felix, this is the first indication that the Nazis hate the Jewish people.  

“Then I see the owners. Oh.”

This is the first time Felix has seen dead bodies in real life. Each time he encounters a person who has been killed he responds by saying, “Oh.” in an almost emotionless way. This simple response to trauma emphasizes his thought process: Felix believes in the goodness of human nature to the extent that he can hardly process acts of violence or cruelty.

“A horrible thought grows in my throbbing head. What if us Jews aren’t being bullied just because of books? What if it’s because of something else?”

Because Felix was shielded from the truth by his parents and Mother Minka, this is his first inkling that the Nazis are not just persecuting Jews because of their books. This is the next stage of the lifting of his denial; however, he still does not realize the connection between the Nazis and his missing parents. 

“I sigh. I feel really sorry for her. It’s really hard being an orphan if you haven’t got an imagination.” 

This passage demonstrates the deep dramatic irony that pervades Felix’s story. Zelda does not yet realize she is an orphan, nor does Felix. While Felix spent three years in the orphanage, he operates on the assumption that his parents are still alive. Unbeknownst to him, his imagination has indeed helped him as an orphan. 

“When a little kid doesn’t even know her parents are dead, you’ve got to try and keep her spirits up.”

Because Zelda is only six, Felix takes the more “adult” role in their interactions. It is easy to forget how young Felix himself is. Tragically, Felix is in the same position she is in: He must not only keep her spirits up, but his as well. 

“Once I lay in the street in tears because the Nazis are everywhere and no grown-ups can protect kids from them, not Mum and Dad, not Mother Minka, not Father Ludwik, not God, not Jesus, not the Pope, not Adolf Hitler.” 

Each chapter in Once begins with the word “once.” In this passage, Felix invokes all of the absent authority figures he can think of. The fact that he continues to “pray” to Adolf Hitler emphasizes Felix’s naivety and inability to connect the dots between the Nazi “book burners” and their leader.  

“I sit on the floor with them, my thoughts in a daze. Suddenly I’m thinking about another story. The one Mum and Dad told me about why I had to stay at the orphanage. They said it was so I could go to school there while they traveled to fix up their business. They told it so well, that story, I believed it for three years and eight months.”

Much of Felix’s worldview is influenced by storytelling: He tells stories to help himself and others cope with difficult situations. However, it does not occur to him that others can tell stories to trick him or help him. His parents’ story saved his life.

“All I can think of is that if Adolf Hitler hates Jewish kids, perhaps God and Jesus and the Virgin Mary and the Pope do too.”

Learning that Hitler is the leader of the Nazis is a big blow to Felix’s optimistic worldview. His faith in Hitler comes from another authority figure in his life, Father Ludwik. If Hitler is evil, then it calls into question the benevolence of the other authority figures Felix reveres.

“Poor Mr. Grecki was in a lot of pain, but your story helped him get through it. Well done.” 

Felix’s gift for storytelling serves a very practical role for Barney’s illicit dental practice. With no access to anesthetics available, his storytelling distracts the patients from their pain. Barney’s appreciation makes Felix feel proud of himself for the first time in years. 

“‘I think it’s better if you do it,’ he says. ‘You’ve been through a lot together and she trusts you. And you were there.’”

Barney consistently compels Felix to take on a more mature approach to life by giving him responsibilities. Though telling Zelda about the fate of her parents is a heavy task, Felix’s closeness with her and his own storytelling abilities make him the best person to break the news. However, this could potentially harm their relationship: Revealing the truth now also reveals that Felix has been lying to her.

“I’m trembling myself, partly at the memory of what I saw, and partly because, for Zelda, my story has made her parents dead.” 

Zelda’s parents were the first dead bodies that Felix had ever seen. They were also the first example of overt violence he had been exposed to. This traumatic moment continues to haunt him.

“I’ll tell you the truth. I got you the boots because everybody deserves to have something good in their life at least once.”

Felix is touched that Barney got him new boots: He has never had footwear this nice in his life. This quote is echoed at the end of the novel, and it gives a glimpse into Barney’s motivations. He knows that the children in his care have suffered greatly and will likely suffer more; because of this, he has taken it upon himself to improve their lives with what little means he has. 

“It’s on Barney’s face, I can see it.

He’s telling the truth.

Oh, Mum.

Oh, Dad.” 

When Barney reveals that the Jewish people who are going to the “countryside” are actually being sent to death camps, Felix must face the truth that his parents are dead. 

“I never want to hear another story. I never want to write another story. I never want to read another book. What good have books ever done me and Mum and Dad? We’d have been better off with guns.” 

Felix’s denial has turned to anger with the knowledge of the death of his parents. For a time, this causes him to reject storytelling, something near and dear to him that he inherited from his parents. Ironically, the Polish Resistance, who killed Zelda’s parents, shares this sentiment. 

“I lie next to the bookcase and tilt it forward so all the books slide off the shelves and onto me. With one hand I arrange books over all the bits of me that feel uncovered. It’s not easy in the dark. I pray to Richmal Crompton that I haven’t missed any bits. Then I slide my hand under the pile and stay very still.” 

In this passage, books both put Felix at risk and save his life. Distracted by Just William by Richmal Crompton (who now replaces Hitler), Felix is nearly caught. He uses books to cover his body, meaning storytelling literally saves his life. 

“She can’t help what her father did. Plus he’s dead now and so’s he mum and I don’t know if she’s got any other living relatives but after what we’ve been through together that makes me one and I say yes.” 

Felix is willing to accept Zelda as a member of his chosen family despite the fact that her father was a Polish Nazi. Neither of them has any other family, so, to Felix, this intensifies his bond. He is willing to risk his life for a girl who until recently was a complete stranger. 

“I know he won’t let the others suffer any pain. He’s a good dentist. He’ll tell them a story about a long and peaceful sleep, and it’ll be a true story.”

Barney managed to hold onto the dental anesthetic he warned Felix not to touch. He has essentially sacrificed himself, remaining on the train to comfort the children who could not jump out rather than escaping. Barney, who has heard of the horrors of the death camps from the man who escaped one, will not let the other children suffer under those conditions.