On My Honor

Fiction | Novella | Middle Grade | Published in 1986

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Summary

Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Chapters 1-3

Chapters 4-6

Chapters 7-9

Chapters 10-12

Character Analysis

Themes

Symbols & Motifs

Important Quotes

Essay Topics

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Discussion Questions

Symbols & Motifs

Joel Calling Out Tony’s Name

Joel repeatedly calls out Tony’s name, but Tony either does not hear him or chooses not to respond. After riding up a steep incline on the deserted highway toward Starved Rock, Joel receives “no answer [then] turned around to see where Tony was” (13). When they are riding their bikes, Joel feels a protectiveness reminiscent of an older brother toward a younger brother, checking on Tony and trying to make sure that he is following closely behind him. Tony does not respond because he is very far behind, peering over the bridge toward the Vermillion. The foreshadowing accomplished by this pattern is apparent when Joel calls out Tony’s name after the race and realizes that Tony is gone forever: “Tony [...] where are you?” (29).

This calling out of Tony’s name is a symbol of the care that Joel has for Tony while also providing subtle hints of the circumstances of Tony’s disappearance in the river. The repetition creates a narrative thread linking the events in the first several chapters and builds dramatic tension as Tony is increasingly distant from Joel each time he calls his name: First they are only a few feet apart, then they are further apart on the deserted highway and on the bridge, and finally they are completely separated by life and death.

The Vermillion River

The river is a multi-faceted symbol that changes as Joel’s perspective on the river develops following Tony’s death. The river is a symbol of nature’s power and of the fragility of human life. The author foreshadows Tony’s drowning and shows the truth in the boys’ humor when Tony says that the Vermillion’s red hue “comes from all the bloody pieces of swimmers the ’gators leave lying around” (16). Initially, the boys both underestimate the river’s power.

The river’s red hue makes it a rich symbol for the loss of innocence that Joel experiences when Tony drowns. When Joel enters the water, he describes its turbid waters and deceptively smooth appearance, revealing nature’s quiet strength and its power to easily destroy life. After Tony drowns, Joel describes the river’s depths as “a black hole in space” (30), a void where all things disappear. The river is contrasted with the clean, chlorinated public swimming pool, a man-made object that is far safer than the river.

After the accident, in a dark parallel to the lighthearted banter between him and Tony earlier, Joel characterizes the river as a monster that preys on children; however, this time Joel really believes that the river is evil. The river’s stench is a symbol of Joel’s guilt, following him everywhere. As he comes to terms with his feelings of guilt, he finally recognizes that the scent was a figment of his imagination.

Darkness and Light

Joel considers running away to hide in the caves, a place of complete darkness. He notes that the park is called Starved Rock because the Indigenous people who hid out in the caves were starved by an enemy group. The story of the Indigenous people connects the caves with death, darkness, and escape gone wrong (48). Joel seeks to run away from his life by hiding there but realizes that the woods are far more dangerous and that he cannot survive this way.

When Joel feels guilty and cannot face his parents or the Zabrinskys, he stays in his room, which becomes increasingly dark as the shadow that had been “a small blob” becomes “an elasticized gray spider” stretching across the room’s ceiling (53). The condition of guilt is associated with darkness. Joel considers himself non-existent in his darkened room: His entire sense of self is eclipsed by darkness. When he comes back to his room after showering, he “didn’t turn on the light in his room” but just “headed for the dark shape of his bed” (73).

After finishing his paper route and dropping off his bike in the garage, Joel steps “into the staring light of the driveway” to face the Zabrinskys (69). Opportunities to tell the truth are filled with light, whereas moments when Joel has lied are linked with a despaired wallowing in darkness. When Joel tells the truth at the end, surrounding by the policemen, his father, and the Zabrinskys, their faces are described as moons emitting light: “The five faces bent toward him were like five pale moons, but it was his father’s face that loomed the largest” (80). His father’s looms largest because he is closest to Joel physically at that moment, but also as a symbol of Joel’s emotional connection to his father and fear of disappointing him: The light his father’s face casts is like a light shining upon his guilt that encourages him to tell the truth.