On My Honor

Fiction | Novella | Middle Grade | Published in 1986

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Summary

Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Chapters 1-3

Chapters 4-6

Chapters 7-9

Chapters 10-12

Character Analysis

Themes

Symbols & Motifs

Important Quotes

Essay Topics

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Chapters 7-9Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Chapter 7 Summary

Joel begins riding his bike homeward as the teenagers leave. He remembers that his mother called him “the worst keeper of guilty secrets” (47). Joel predicts that everyone will blame him for Tony’s drowning. With fear and guilt, he begins riding to Starved Rock State Park to avoid going home. He considers hiding in a cave in the bluffs. The absurdity of his plan dawns on him, and with dread he turns homeward: “Home, the narrow tires sang against the pavement. Home” (48). He considers various alibis for himself, thinking the events “could have happened the way he had it figured out” (51). He panics as he passes the bridge over the Vermillion River. He goes down to the banks and sees Tony’s clothing scattered all over. He arranges it neatly, then, realizing that Tony never would’ve done such a thing, messes it up slightly. He fully accepts that Tony has died.

Chapter 8 Summary

Joel is lying down in his bedroom. He hears his father yell angrily from downstairs. Joel responds rudely to his father’s questions and expects to be punished, thinking “his father had never hit him, but he would now” (55). Mrs. Zabrinsky, Tony’s mother, knew that Joel was home because Bobby, Joel’s younger brother, saw him returning home alone. Joel lies to his father that Tony went to Starved Rock alone. His father, he learns found out that Tony lied about his mother knowing he was going to the park. Bobby begs Joel to join him on his paper route; Joel is annoyed with Bobby but lets him join. Joel feels that the “stink of the river had followed him home” (59). He changes clothes but still notices the odor. Joel’s mother arrives home and shows concern, but Joel insists that he is fine and nervously avoids her questions.

Chapter 9 Summary

Bobby joins Joel on his paper route. As they are preparing the papers for delivery, Joel criticizes Bobby but then feels bad, and his “anger is replaced by shame” (63). The paper route drags on as Joel hears “Tony’s voice, challenging, teasing” (65). He remembers some of their misadventures: two failed schemes, one to sell bait from mashing worms together and one to sell decorative pennies that left them with “forty-nine pennies they couldn’t spend” (67). Joel thinks that he must teach Bobby how to swim so that he will never drown. They finish the paper route, and Joel sees his parents and the Zabrinskys speaking outside the house. He is filled with dread as he leaves his bike in the garage. He waits for a moment until he finally steps outside where they are standing.

Chapters 7-9 Analysis

Joel’s inner monologue is the focus as his guilt progresses. The author gives a direct line into Joel’s mind and heart. There is very little action taking place, and everything seems normal, but there is intensifying tension for Joel as the hours drag on and he still does not divulge what he knows about Tony’s disappearance. Through the intimacy of the personal narrative, the author creates sympathy for Joel. Repeatedly, Joel is close to telling his parents but proves incapable of doing so. As he continues to grieve Tony’s death, he feels anger toward his father for allowing them to go and anger toward “Tony, crazy Tony” for suggesting the idea at all (49).

Joel’s anxiety and isolation are on display as he struggles to pretend that he doesn’t know what happened to Tony. He feels at fault for Tony’s death but has moments of rationality when he thinks that “just because he didn’t follow his father’s orders, that didn’t make what happened to Tony his fault” (49). He is terrified of being punished for what has happened but also craves punishment and is angered that no one could tell he was lying, thinking, “Didn’t anybody around here pay attention to anything?” (61). The imagery of Joel lying in darkness for hours “in the middle of his bed staring at the darkened light fixture” (53), followed by his strange and secretive behavior, shows how lying and keeping secrets is damaging him. He is unable to release himself from his guilt over Tony’s death because he has not yet spoken the truth. He can see that he is creating a prison for himself by keeping the secret but is still too frightened to confess. The author represents Joel’s mounting anxiety through his body language, with his hands trembling and his shoulders slumped “like a turtle retreating into its shell” (69). These chapters demonstrate how isolating lies and secrets can be.

Joel wishes for punishment to relieve him of the burden of guilt he is carrying. He opens “the screen door, letting it slam behind him…hard” (61), seeking out physical pain as a palliative for his emotional pain. His father doesn’t punish him and is only concerned for his well-being. Even when Joel is being impudent to get a rise out of his father, telling him “it’s my house, I can come here if I want to” (56), his father is only frustrated. As Joel’s dad is a loving father, Joel himself is a loving brother to Bobby despite his annoyance and frustration with the boy’s babyish whining. Toward the end of the paper route, Joel thinks of Bobby’s safety: “Bobby was afraid even to get his face in the water. Joel would start working with him right away” (68). Though he is wracked with negativity, he thinks of protecting Bobby from a tragedy like the one he experienced.

The stages of grief are apparent in Joel’s emotional responses as he veers between anger, sadness, guilt, and “the deep calm that had taken hold of him” (55). As he rides his bike on the paper route, he thinks of Tony’s laugh and “almost smile[s]” for the first time since the drowning, the memory bringing him a brief respite from guilt.