Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time

Chapter 26 advises readers on the means of communication and persuasion after creating content. Readers are encouraged to craft an image and identity that correlates to the goals and mission of their personalized brand. Instilling generosity, vulnerability, accountability, and candor provides a direction for this brand. Part of creating a brand for oneself involves “expanding people’s view of your capability” (293). To accomplish this feat, it is important for readers to develop a personal branding message (PBM), package the brand in visually and rhetorically appealing forms, and broadcast that brand across different social mediums—both physical and digital. Readers should craft a message using specific words that best describe the mission and goals of one’s future career. Additionally, the authors reiterate previous recommendations for establishing a brand through the expansion of one’s network: attend and speak at conferences, write articles for online and company platforms, send mass emails as informational newsletters to people in and outside of the network, and complete the tasks that others don’t want to do in an efficient and successful manner.

Chapter 27 advises readers on how to distribute and market their content. The principles of effectively promoting a brand include using visuals, emotions, and curation of others’ content. These techniques will capture the audience's attention through their sense-perceptions and feelings. Likewise, content curation—that is, promoting and starting conversations about other people’s content—saves time and establishes credibility. The next strategy the authors propose is to manipulate the media. Starting relationships with journalists and public relations firms can help facilitate the broadcast of a brand. The authors also caution readers that sometimes the story that the media wants to write and the one that someone wants to tell can be two different narratives. That is why it is important to be careful and pay attention when a reporter asks to write a story because it could end up disparaging one’s reputation. Ferrazzi narrates a personal example of when he overzealously agreed to talk to a reporter who ended up writing an unflattering profile of him.

People should become their own PR representative by reaching out to the media themselves. Every journalist wants a good story to write, so seize on that desire to convey one’s personal mission and goals. Additional means of broadcasting a brand include: marketing to a local audience; making one’s story sound original and fresh; keeping reporters happy (and interested); mastering the art of the sound bite; dropping the names of recognizable people in the story; focusing on the message and not one’s personal fame; and sharing the article or story to people in one’s network once it has been published.

Chapter 28 teaches readers how to meet and interact with people in positions of authority. This category of people includes politicians, influential news reporters, mass media personalities, and celebrities. The “hard truth is that the ones who get ahead are usually those who know how to make highly placed people feel good about having them around” (318). The authors recommend joining organizations that allow for the opportunity to meet famous and influential people. These include the Young Presidents’ Organization, political fundraisers, conferences, nonprofit boards, sports (especially golf), and online platforms. After joining a group or having the opportunity to meet a person in power, it is important to keep in mind that these people also have a goal and mission in mind. By practicing generosity and helping others with their objectives, individuals can ingratiate themselves to these people.

Chapter 29 emphasizes the importance of creating a community around one’s unique brand. An association of people with shared interests becomes a collective identity. Relationships are built through passion and generosity. These principles can be physically cultivated when an intentional community of diverse and like-minded people gather together. To add credibility to one’s community, people can engage with an authority in the respective discipline or field. Using social media, like LinkedIn and Facebook, can encourage people in different locations to interact. Once a community has been built, a connector can increase the authority of their own brand and start to interact with other networks. The Connector’s Hall Of Fame Profile in this chapter is about Benjamin Franklin. Franklin’s entrepreneurial spirit and success can be partially attributed to his ability to create communities. Franklin’s tenacity to organize communities helped him to excel financially and politically, and his networking abilities also helped the American Revolution succeed. This profile encourages modesty in work and emphasizes the power of teamwork to make a difference in the world.

Chapter 30 begins with a cautionary tale about Ferrazzi to warn readers against the dangers of arrogance when creating a network. When Ferrazzi met the founder and editor of the National Review, William F. Buckley, Buckley was a powerful and influential conservative who also happened to be an alumnus of Yale University, like Ferrazzi. While running for and then losing the city council of New Haven, Ferrazzi met Buckley. After Ferrazzi’s campaign, New York Times wrote an article about his efforts. Buckley reached out to Ferrazzi and invited the young man over to his house for dinner.

At the meeting, Buckley and Ferrazzi talked about politics and business. Ferrazzi pitched an idea for a foundation that would represent the conservative voices on Yale’s campus. Buckley apparently liked the idea and agreed to support it. Without actually confirming Buckley’s commitment, Ferrazzi left the meeting and began bragging about his new, big-name donor on campus. He even raised money by name-dropping Buckley to other Yale alumni. However, Buckley had never officially agreed and didn’t remember the conversation. Soon after, funders started pulling money, and Ferrazzi’s name was dragged through the mud. The authors tell this story to caution readers that arrogance can ruin the goals and missions of one’s career. Moreover, a responsible and gracious leadership style was developed out of this negative experience. The authors advise readers not to give in to hubris when building their network.

Chapter 31 is about identifying mentees and becoming a mentor. Mentorship in both directions—as mentor and mentee—can be “one of the most effective strategies to get the best out of each and every individual” (342). Mentoring is defined as “a lifelong process of giving and receiving in an ever-ending role as both master and apprentice” (343). Ferrazzi recalls the greatest mentors and mentees whom he has had the privilege of knowing and interacting with in his lifetime. The mentors include his own father and Pat Loconto, CEO of Deloitte. Both of these people instilled in Ferrazzi the idea that mutually beneficial relationships are the keys to success. Finding a mentor who can develop one as a successful person and professional is more important than just pursuing a higher salary and position.

Ferrazzi also acknowledges the importance of mentoring others. This practice can professionally develop the mentor just as much as the mentee. New worldviews and business perspectives are available through the mentoring of others, no matter the age. The two most important aspects of mentorship involve reciprocity in the relationship and emotional connection. Both parties will succeed when they work to ensure the beneficial utility and positive emotions in a mentorship relationship.

The Connector Hall of Fame Profile in this section is Eleanor Roosevelt, who developed a network of mentors and mentees in her lifetime that made her an influential figure in world politics and civil rights. As First Lady, Roosevelt connected to people without compromising on her own principles. She used her network to leverage her influence over social issues, such as civil rights; for example, she invited Marion Anderson, an African-American opera singer, to perform at The White House after the Daughters of the American Revolution refused Anderson.

Chapter 32 attempts to debunk what the authors consider the myth of work-life balance. Ferrazzi uses anecdotal evidence about his schedule—“Ferrazzi Time”—that has him waking up at 4am taking calls, attending conferences, meeting with clients, and taking people out to late-night business dinners, non-stop. Ferrazzi does not recommend that everyone adopt “Ferrazzi Time.” Rather, people need to find their own schedule that works for them. The authors recommend developing a schedule that focuses on the relationship between people. A “relationship-driven career” is one where balance is unnecessary, because one becomes surrounded by people and things that truly fulfill them. “[I]t isn’t self-help we need […] it’s help from others (358). Connecting allows people to serve their interests both for work, for family, for others, and for the self.

The final chapter serves as a recap and a call to action: “[T]he more everything becomes connected to everything and everyone, the more we begin to depend on whom and what we’re connected with” (361). Success does not only depend on the hours spent in the office or the number of publications one has in a given field. It also depends, perhaps even more so, on the number of meaningful connections one makes in one’s life and career. With the digital and internet revolution in full swing, the importance of creating meaningful connections matters even more. In the future, the measure of success and innovation will not be a new technology or company. Instead, it will emerge from how people work together, interact, and help each other evolve in an ever-changing world.