Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time

“Everyone has the capacity to be a connector.”

The principles of Never Eat Alone are meant to be accessible to everyone. This democratic tone ensures that the audience feels empowered and capable of putting the authors’ recommendations into action.

“I’ll sum up the key to success in one word: generosity.”

One of the keywords in the theme of GVAC, generosity, plays a huge role in being a connector. By giving to and helping others, one can achieve greater success and establish meaningful relationships.

“Every successful person I’ve met shared, in varying degrees, a zeal for goal setting.”

Goal-setting is a crucial theme in the book. It helps leaders to establish clear objectives and allows them to plan and outline steps in order to achieve those goals. Ferrazzi and Raz use examples of historical and popular figures to make this point, too.

“Human ambitions are like Japanese carp; they grow proportional to the size of their environment.”

This sentence uses a simile to illustrate the positive benefits of networking. The more that connectors connect, the bigger their networks and opportunities will grow.

“Imagine, for a moment, that all of your family and friends and associates are a section of a garden. Take a stroll through that relationship garden. What do you see?”

The authors use a metaphor of a garden to prompt a question to the audience. This metaphor encourages readers to “plant” and “grow” more relationships by using the connections that one already has.

“The best way to deal with this anxiety is to first acknowledge that our fear is perfectly normal. You are not alone. The second thing is to recognize that getting over that fear is critical to your success. The third is to commit to getting better.”

This quote is one example of the authors providing encouraging and motivating advice to readers. Using the collective word “our”, they acknowledge that everyone feels anxiety when making new connections.

“When you look back upon a life and career of reaching out to others, you want to see a web of friendships to fall back on, not the ashes of bad encounters.”

This sentence uses a mixed metaphor: a spider’s web and a pile of ashes. Typically, mixed metaphors confuse readers; however, the simplicity of both makes the concept easy to understand.

“Find a way to become parts of those things that are of most interest to them, and you will have found a way to become part of their life.”

With a tone of direct address to readers and use of the imperative, this sentence urges readers to build connections that turn into lasting, meaningful relationships.

“First, I sat down and established ninety-day, one-year, and three-year goals in my Relationship Action Plan. Each goal required me to connect with and develop different parts of my network.”

This sentence provides readers with clear steps to develop in the Relationship Action Plan. It also uses the first-person singular to express how the author, Ferrazzi, practices what he preaches.

“My soapbox aside, the first rule of new interactions is to meet someone on their terms, wherever they’re most likely to listen.”

The authors express humility in their tone by addressing their preaching in the opening phrase using colloquial language. They then emphasize their point that creating opportunities using smart tactics in social settings is the key to making new relationships.

“In building a network, remember: Above all, never ever disappear.”

This sentence reminds readers that staying in touch with people is the key to maintaining an active network. Using a tone of direct address, the authors give readers a clear piece of advice.

“In fact, FOLLOW-UP IS THE KEY TO SUCCESS IN ANY FIELD.”

The authors write this sentence in all-caps to emphasize the importance of their argument in Chapter 13. Like the use of bold letters, it is a visual reminder that makes the book conducive to easy rereading and revisiting.

“So what should your objective be in making small talk? Good question. The goal is simple: Start a conversation, keep it going, create a bond, and leave with the other person thinking, ‘I dig that person,’ or whatever other generational variation of that phrase you want to use.”

The authors start this quote with a rhetorical question about making small talk. The colloquial tone followed by the practical series of advice persuades readers that the method is doable.

“Connecting is a philosophy of life, a worldview.”

This quote encapsulates the theory behind Never Eat Alone. It is an example of a short sentence throughout the book that returns the main idea to the reader. The authors insist that connecting is not just a practice in business, but a way of living.

“You start with the philosophy, the worldview, that every human is an opportunity to help and be helped.”

This sentence develops the philosophy outlined earlier in the chapter by answering the how and why of connecting as a worldview. It reflects the idea that the concepts in the book are meant to be actionable.

“But if thirty years ago power was attained through a monopoly of information (and a whole lot of angry people), today the system is more akin to social arbitrage: a constant and open exchange of favors and intelligence…”

The authors contrast the business practices of the 20th century with the modern-day styles of leadership and social interaction. The sentence conveys a sense of innovation and novelty to the readers.

“Performing social arbitrage when your financial and relational resources are thin is actually not too big a hurdle. The solution is knowledge, one of the most valuable currencies in social arbitrage. Knowledge is free – it can be found in books, in articles, on the Internet, pretty much everywhere, and it’s precious to everyone.”

The authors encourage a population of readers, who may not have the financial resources of more experienced connectors, to use knowledge as a means of social arbitrage. Knowledge can be used and obtained at any level of a career. This passage is designed to engage, and not alienate, a wide range of readers.

“All successful people are planners. They think on paper. Failing to plan, as they say, is planning to fail. And a plan is a list of activities and names.”

The passage underscores the importance of goal-setting and the Relationship Action Plan. Both these methods need to be written down on paper in detail in order to be effective, and so this advice contributes to the paratext created by readers.

“To guarantee you’ll catch the information flu, create a dense network with yourself in the center.”

This quote tells readers to use their research and knowledge to become an indispensable member of their network. The metaphor of a sickness reflects the contagious quality of becoming an expert in a subject.

“Powerful content communicated in a compelling story can energize your network to help you achieve your mission.”

This chapter builds on the goals and mission planning of earlier chapters to show readers the importance of integrating these concepts into a compelling story. Persuasive narratives can incite people on an emotional level and instill loyalty to one’s brand. This exemplifies the metatextual references to storytelling throughout the book.

“...I realized that finding a talented, experienced mentor who is willing to invest the time and effort to develop you as a person and a professional is far more important than making career decisions based purely on salary or prestige.”

The authors stress the importance of mentorship by detailing how and why someone becomes a mentor to others. This relates to the theme of GVAC. The authors remind readers that a career should not be filled with only one mentor, but many in different fields throughout one’s lifetime.

“Tell me why you’re special. Tell me what we have in common. Express gratitude, excitement, and passion.”

Here, the authors directly address the reader to give practical advice on connecting with others through branding strategies. The effectiveness of a brand comes down to the level of interest one has for a subject and their audience. The prompt to explain “why you’re special” engages the reader to think about their response.

“When our lonely lives catch up with us, we turn to self-help literature for answers, but it isn’t self-help we need, I’d argue, it’s help from others.”

The authors address the allure of the self-help genre with a twist. By italicizing self, they argue that the true method of personal improvement is creating relationships and community with others.