My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey

After her surgery, Taylor continues her painstaking recovery process, sharing that healing requires her to recommit herself a “million times a day” (110). The author feels it is “painful” and an “agony” to try to test her left hemisphere skills, and her caregivers help her stay on course (110). It remains difficult for Taylor to submit to “the chaos of recovery” instead of the quiet, peaceful mindset she now has (110). To keep herself positive, Taylor focuses on the positive aspect of her experience: the fact that nirvana is accessible to people by tuning into their right hemisphere (111). Her major “stroke of insight” is that anyone can experience happiness and peace by learning to manage their “dominating left mind” and access more right-brained thinking (111). The fact that her family and colleagues believe in her potential to recover helps Taylor stay motivated, and over the course of eight years, she makes a full mental and physical recovery. The brain’s plasticity means that it can adapt and relearn skills after brain trauma (111). Sleep is essential for healing, and she needs protection from the onslaught of stimulation common in hospitals and public places. Taylor posits that if she had been admitted to a rehab facility where she was given Ritalin to maintain alertness and subjected to constant noise and television, she would have tried less, not more, in her recovery, and she remains a “loud advocate” for the necessity of sleep in recovery (112). Another thing the author finds is essential to her wellbeing is for others to accept her new self and her more right-brained personality that has new interests and preferences. She also feels that consistent challenges to all parts of her brain and avoiding the monotony of yes/no questions help her to recover her brain function.

Taylor sets herself the goal of presenting at Fitchburg State College in April on the four-month anniversary of her stroke. She hopes to speak for twenty minutes in a fluent manner, without anyone knowing she had had a stroke. To prepare, she watches a video tape of herself delivering a speech at a former event, studying her body language, volume, and cadence. She goes on to successfully deliver her speech, leaving her feeling triumphant (116).

Taylor participates in speech therapy for four months and also works on reading comprehension with her speech therapist, a subject she finds exhausting. She is excited when learning vocabulary helps her access other memories and associations. A few weeks after her surgery, Taylor’s left hemisphere begins to produce an inner monologue once again, and the author is “careful” about the self-talk she produces. She decides to limit depressing or self-pitying thoughts and not view herself as inferior to her pre-stroke self, focusing on her growing abilities with an “attitude of gratitude” (118). The author reiterates her need for careful and patient instruction, especially since relearning simple tasks often takes multiple lessons and reminders. She also values visitors, even though she cannot always communicate clearly with them, and feels she needs their positive energy (120). She also discovers that she has more awareness of her emotional life and feels she can direct her emotional experiences better than she did before her stroke since she can now monitor how her left hemisphere responds to people and events and access her peace of mind when needed.

Taylor feels that she has a great deal of agency about which parts of her brain and personality she chooses to recover. While her physical recovery from her surgery takes years to complete, Taylor shares that her emotional and psychological recovery is more arduous. Just two months after her surgery, Taylor boards a flight by herself to visit her friend, an experience she loves that motivates her to continue challenging herself. By three months after her brain surgery, Taylor’s mother begins teaching Taylor how to drive. Surprisingly, Taylor finds that the most challenging aspect of driving is not operating the vehicle but reading the road signs. Soon thereafter, G.G. feels that Taylor is ready to live independently, and she begins to slowly accept more work responsibilities at home and then at her office. These transitions are tiring for Taylor, who finds the commute stressful and struggles to keep her energy up while taking her prescribed medication.

Six months after her brain surgery, Taylor visits her home state of Indiana to attend her 20-year high school reunion, finding it an ideal way to explore memories of her past. That summer, she also attends the National Alliance for Mental Illness conference where she delivers a speech and thanks the other members for their support and encouragement.

Taylor’s physical recovery continues, and she frequently walks with weights and has massage and acupuncture to rebuild her strength and her relationship with her body. Just eight months after her surgery, Taylor returns to her full-time position although she still struggles with low energy and knows that she cannot perform all the complicated tasks she used to do. She asks to relocate to Indiana to be closer to her family and continue her work for the Brain Bank there. This move is grounding for Taylor, who cherishes being in her familiar home city (125).

Her psychological recovery progresses as she works with a therapist to try to remember and make sense of her stroke. Over time, Taylor’s memory improves enough that she can teach neuroscience classes at a university (126). Over the years, Taylor slowly regains her ability to multitask, move without looking at her feet, and do math. Her dreams also change from consisting of “tiny unrelated bits of data” to actual narratives again (129). Taylor presently splits her time between traveling for the Harvard Brain Bank, teaching at the University of Indiana, and working for the Midwest Proton Radiotherapy Institute. She remains a physically active and creative person and maintains a close relationship with her mother. She is happy to share her story and feels that her mission in life is “Helping people liberate their own inner peace, joy, and magnificent beauty…” (130).