My Best Friend's Exorcism

Chapter 2 switches to the past tense. In 1982, middle-class nine-year-old Abby is in fourth grade and obsessed with the movie E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial. She’s planning an E.T.-themed birthday party at a roller rink, and invites her class, planning on impressing everyone with her skating. A few days later, a wealthy classmate named Margaret Middleton invites the class to her family’s polo plantation to ride horses on the same day as Abby’s party. The teacher reassures Abby that her classmates will have time to attend both parties.

Abby and her parents arrive early at the rink to set up E.T. decorations and the birthday cake. Eventually, a new classmate named Gretchen Lang arrives with her mother. Mrs. Lang encourages the girls to talk, but Abby is distraught that no one else came to her party, and Gretchen seems to feel awkward at the situation. Mrs. Lang presses Gretchen to give Abby her present—a children’s Bible. Abby knows she’s supposed to thank Gretchen, but doesn’t. Abby’s parents press her, but she runs to the restroom, mortified. Later, Gretchen enters the restroom, crawls into Abby’s stall, and starts a conversation. She thinks horses are unimpressive and admits her mother picked out the children’s Bible. She also admits her mother wanted her to go to Margaret’s party, but she insisted on attending Abby’s because her invitation was first. This touches Abby, who offers to teach Gretchen how to skate. Gretchen accepts and they have fun, even though Abby bumps into an older boy named Tommy Cox and falls—requiring stitches on her face.

At school on Monday, Margaret demands to know why Gretchen didn’t come to her party. She also asks what happened to Abby’s face. She doesn’t believe Abby’s explanation, even though Gretchen backs her up. Tommy Cox enters their classroom and apologizes to Abby, handing her a cold Coke for her face. The teacher makes him leave after he clarifies that Abby is telling the truth.

Abby takes Tommy’s Coke can home, and keeps it as a souvenir without opening it. At lunch one day, Gretchen confesses she’s never seen E.T. and claims her parents won’t allow her to go to movie theaters because they’re in the Witness Protection Program. On the weekend, Abby convinces her mother to drop off her and Gretchen at the mall so they can see E.T. unbeknownst to Gretchen’s parents. Abby’s worried Gretchen won’t like the movie, but Gretchen loves it and cries, strengthening their friendship. Gretchen’s parents have bizarre rules due to being in the Witness Protection Program: Gretchen can’t listen to rock music, eat sugary cereal, wear two-piece swimsuits, or watch most movies and shows. At a sleepover, Gretchen confesses she lied about her family: The real reason her parents are strict is because they’re Reagan-era Republicans who are concerned about their family’s image. Abby’s not mad, but feels like she owes Gretchen a secret so they can trust each other. She shows Gretchen her father’s pornography magazine, which becomes an inside joke between them.

Over the next six years, Abby and Gretchen remain best friends. Abby’s family lives in an area of Charleston, South Carolina, called Creekside, and Gretchen lives in Old Village, a racially segregated (white) neighborhood. Due to financial insecurity and learned racism, Abby loves Old Village because it makes her feel safe. Mrs. Lang cleans Gretchen’s room twice a month and throws away stuff she doesn’t want Gretchen to have anymore. The girls love making lists and taking magazine quizzes. In sixth grade, Abby’s father loses his air-traffic-controller job and gets a lower-paying job as an assistant manager at a carpet-cleaning business—only to get laid off again. Abby’s family moves to an affordable house in a different neighborhood, which she is ashamed of, so she no longer invites Gretchen over. In 1984, Walter Mondale runs for president with Geraldine Ferraro as running mate, and Abby gets excited about a potential female vice president. She puts a Mondale/Ferraro bumper sticker on Gretchen’s mother’s car until one evening Mr. Lang arrives home, demanding to know who placed the sticker. Abby is afraid she’ll be kicked out, so Gretchen takes the blame.

Mr. and Mrs. Lang hate Madonna, but one time when they’re not home, Gretchen and Abby dress up like her and sing. However, Mrs. Lang catches them, then beats Gretchen with a hairbrush until she cries. Mrs. Lang leaves the room, and Gretchen says she wants to kill her mother. Abby remembers another time when Gretchen took her father’s gun and pretended to shoot her with it. Soon, the Langs bring Abby on a 10-day vacation to Jamaica. Gretchen spills nail polish on Abby’s Weird Al tape and says it was an accident. They fight but make up.

In seventh grade, a girl named Glee Wannamaker loses her retainer in the trash at lunch, and Gretchen wants to help her find it. Abby resents this idea because her own parents can’t afford orthodontia. Abby’s mother is an in-home nurse and her father was working in the dairy department of a dollar store—but got fired. Now, he has a sign posted in town saying he’ll fix any lawnmower for 20 dollars. A collection of lawnmowers has amassed in the family’s yard, and he doesn’t talk much anymore. Abby starts to feel hopeless, but resolves to get a job and focus on the good things in life. Therefore, she decides to make sifting through garbage to find Glee’s retainer fun.

In eighth grade, Halley’s Comet, which only comes by every 75 years, passes. Abby and Gretchen watch it, and discuss if they’ll still be friends the next time it passes, when they’re 88. They agree to always be friends.

In sophomore year, Abby and Gretchen are close with Margaret Middleton and Glee Wannamaker. They still attend private school, with Abby on scholarship. The four girls are drinking on Labor Day weekend on a boat, with no parents at Margaret’s lake house. Margaret asks the other girls to take acid with her. She claims she stole it from one of her older brothers, Riley, who drugged and raped girls in the past—but managed to avoid charges with the claim that his life would be “ruined” if charged. Now, he is a drug dealer. In reality, Margaret stole the acid from an arrested stranger. Gretchen worries about losing her mind if she takes acid, but eventually agrees. The girls take it, and Margaret talks about how Satanists give children LSD, which makes them murder their parents. Gretchen and Abby go to look at fireflies alone, and Margaret makes a anti-gay joke about them. Abby promises to stay with Gretchen during her acid trip, and after a bit, Margaret tells them to come inside.

After five hours, the girls still don’t feel different, and think the acid didn’t work or was fake. Glee is bored, so she does math homework. Abby suggests they go skinny dipping. They go outside, and Gretchen starts running to the lake. However, Margaret yells at her to stop because the water is shallow due to low tide. Gretchen keeps running, then jumps. When the other girls catch up, they can’t find her anywhere, and she doesn’t come out of the water. They search the woods and Abby sees a tall figure, whom she follows, thinking it’s Gretchen. She loses the figure and finds an old outbuilding in a clearing. She hears a man say her name, but sees no one. The girls check the house but don’t find Gretchen. In the morning, Abby returns to the outbuilding and sees an eyeless figure, who disappears. Gretchen appears, with no memory of what happened. She’s crying and wants to go home. There’s “blood” and Satanic graffiti in the outbuilding.