Locomotion

“Was I ever your baby, Mama?

and Mama looked at me all warm and smiley.

You still are, she said.

Then she went back in the kitchen.

I felt safe then.

I held Lili tighter.”

This memory recounts how when Lonnie was young, he held his sister and asked his mother this question. This is a significant memory for Lonnie because it demonstrates a moment of love and a feeling of comfort and safety, feelings he has been lacking since his parents’ deaths. This memory comforts him.

“And for those few seconds, Mama’s alive

again.

And I’m remembering

all kinds of good things about her like

the way she laughed at my jokes

even when they were dumb

and the way she sometimes just grabbed me

and hugged me before

I had the chance to get away.”

When Lonnie inhales the scent of honeysuckle talc powder, what his mom used to smell like, memories flood back to him. He feels her presence as if she were still alive, and this comforts him. The fact that “again” is its own line draws attention to the idea that memories, like the scent, repeatedly help him cope and feel as though his family is still with him.

“Be quiet! Miss Edna said.

Hush, Lonnie, Miss Edna said.

Shhhh, Lonnie, Miss Edna said.

Children should be seen but not heard, Miss Edna said.

And my voice got quieter

and quieter

and quiet.

Now some days Miss Edna looks at me and says

You need to smile more, Lonnie.

You need to laugh sometimes

maybe make a little noise.

Where’s that boy I used to know,

the one who couldn’t be quiet?”

Lonnie describes how when he first arrived at Miss Edna’s house, she complained that he was too loud, but now she worries that he’s too quiet. This poem highlights that Miss Edna, although strict, has concern and compassion for Lonnie because she worries that he’s too quiet for a boy his age. In addition, it indicates that not only the trauma of his parents dying in a fire, but also his experience as a foster child have changed him significantly.

“Now Ms. Marcus wants to know why I wrote that the lady is white and I say because it’s true. And Ms. Marcus says Lonnie, what does race have to do with it […] Ms. Marcus don’t understand some things even though she’s my favorite teacher in the world. Things like my brown, brown arm. And the white lady and man with all that good food to throw away. How if you turn on your TV, that’s what you see—people with lots and lots of stuff not having to sit on scratchy couches in Miss Edna’s house. And the true fact is a lotta those people are white. Maybe it’s that if you’re white you can’t see all the whiteness around you.”

Lonnie writes this prose poem about a commercial in which a white woman makes a delicious dinner for her husband. Even though Ms. Marcus asked students to include details, she dismisses the description of the woman as white. Lonnie’s thoughts indicate that Ms. Marcus herself is white and that she doesn’t recognize her white privilege. This suggests that she considers the commercial everyone’s experience, but Lonnie notes that it’s far different from his own. Because he has dark skin, he views the commercial as just that—a break from the regular show, or from what his life is really like. Even though he likes Ms. Marcus, she doesn’t fully understand him.

“They come looking like regular boys

Going through your drawers and pockets saying

You better not tell Counselor else I’ll beat you down.

the monsters that come at night snatch

the covers off your bed, take your

pillow and in the morning

steal your bacon when the cook’s back is turned

call themselves The Throwaway Boys, say

You’re one of us now.”

Lonnie uses a metaphor to portray the boys at the group home as monsters. Instead of being stereotypically terrifying creatures, however, they look like him but treat him meanly, the worst of which is calling him just like them. “Throwaway Boys” refers to the impression that no family wants them, that they’re just waste or leftovers. At first Lonnie thinks this is a monstrous thing for them to say, but by the end of the poem, he believes it’s true. The impact of his experience at the group home is that he thinks less of himself and feels like he’s unworthy and unloved, just a throwaway.

“That stupid fire couldn’t take all of them.

Nothing could do that.

Nothing.”

After sharing memories of his parents, Lonnie states this. His memories keep them alive even when they aren’t physically with him. The line and stanza breaks are significant because they underscore how connected he feels to his parents. By repeating the word “nothing” and setting it apart by itself as the poem’s final line (and stanza), Lonnie emphasizes the depth of his love for them, even in their absence.

“In my head I see a fire. I see black windows.

I hear people hollering. I smell smoke.

I hear a man’s voice saying I’m so sorry.

I hear myself screaming.

Never seen nothing, I say.”

Lonnie’s friends describe traumatic things that they’ve seen. When it’s Lonnie’s turn, he remembers the fire that took his parents lives so clearly but tells his friends that he has nothing to share. This contradiction highlights that sometimes people carry things with them that others may not know about. Also, Lonnie’s description of the fire includes not just what he saw but what he smelled and heard; the robust imagery indicates how traumatic it was for him. Furthermore, the repetition of “I hear” followed by a crowd, then a man, and then himself, emphasizes that these voices will never leave his memory because they’re an onslaught of sound.

“I hear Miss Edna calling her job saying she won’t

be coming in. I hear her say Dear Lord, remember me.

I hear her putting water on to boil

and smell the ginger she’s chopping up to make me

     some tea.”

On the four-year anniversary of his parents’ death, Lonnie wakes up physically ill. These lines describe Miss Edna’s reaction. Without hesitation or complaint, she does what’s necessary to care for Lonnie, missing work and immediately making tea to ease his nausea. Her compassion contrasts with Lonnie’s description of her earlier, showing that she truly loves and cares for the boy as if he were her biological son. Like his memories of the fire, Lonnie’s vivid description includes sounds and smells.

“Those days I’m not scared about pigeon crap on my head because the way they fly—just slow back and forth and the sun getting all bright orange behind them and them making those sounds that after a while sound a little bit like a song—all of it together makes you look up into the sky and believe in everything you ever wanted to believe in.”

In this prose poem, Lonnie begins with a diatribe about how nasty pigeons are and how they “crap on your head.” Right before this passage, one line includes only the word “But,” indicating a shift in perspective because then he describes his neighbor Todd who keeps a pigeon coop on his roof. Surprisingly, Lonnie sees beauty in these pigeons, and they give him hope. Also, the unexpected contrast in the two paragraphs underscores a pattern in the text that a person’s (or in this case an animal’s) identity isn’t always what most believe. Like the assumptions that Lonnie is a dangerous Black boy or a quiet nerd, his initial belief about pigeons as “sky roaches” is inaccurate.

“But sometimes Lili’s new mama don’t want me to

    come there

and she don’t want to bring Lili to Miss Edna’s house

so we meet at the agency. Like today.”

After describing how far Lonnie must travel to visit Lili in her new home, he explains that sometimes her adoptive mom prefers that they meet at the adoption agency. These observations suggest that Lili’s adoptive mom makes assumptions that Lonnie isn’t a good kid and that he doesn’t live in a good place; therefore, he isn’t welcome in her home. Additionally, because Lonnie is the narrator, he’s aware of these assumptions about him.

“Me? I’m slouching down and staring

out at the rain, city

so gray you’d think we live inside a big old gray box.

Clouds hanging so low they look

like aluminum foil

Reynolds Wrap sky.”

In this rare moment when the class is writing poetry, Lonnie doesn’t want to participate. Ms. Marcus has asked them to write about his family. Although Lonnie often pens lines about his parents and sister, he’s angry now. The description of the weather mirrors Lonnie’s gray, cloudy mood and how he feels about his situation in life and at this moment: trapped and stifled as if in a box or covered in Reynold’s wrap. The resulting tone of the poem is angry and sad.

“Some days I hate poetry.

The way good ideas be going

to somebody else.”

This poem highlights Lonnie’s jealous side: He’s frustrated that Angel has an idea that makes Ms. Marcus smile. Poetry has been a way for Lonnie to cope with difficulties in life and to bear the loss of his parents, but today it fails him. These brief lines highlight that no coping mechanism is perfect.

“Outside the sky looks like it’s made out of metal

and the cold, cold air is rattling the windowpanes

and coming underneath them too.

I seen Lamont’s coat.

It’s gray and the sleeves are too short.

It’s down but it looks like a lot of the feathers fell out

a long time ago.

Ms. Marcus got a nice coat.

It’s down too but real puffy so

maybe when she’s inside it

she can’t even tell January from June.”

When Lamont and Ms. Marcus argue about a topic for an occasional poem, she suggests that he write about his birthday. He complains that his birthday is in June, which is far away since it’s January. The weather outside mirrors Lamont’s situation and how he feels about his old, too-small winter coat. When Lonnie compares her nice, warm coat to Lamont’s outgrown and worn jacket, he highlights the disconnect between the teacher and her students, noting that she can’t tell the difference between January and June. Meanwhile, students like Lamont scrape by with less than what they need.

“You know you got some pretty eyes, LaTenya says to me

My eyes just eyes but LaTenya’s looking at them

like she’s seeing them for the first time

and maybe later on I’ll go back to Miss Edna’s house

and look in the mirror at my eyes

try to see what she’s seeing.”

When LaTenya flirts with Lonnie and compliments his eyes, he’s surprised because they’re “just eyes.” Lonnie’s desire to go home and look in the mirror to search for whatever it is she sees indicates that he doesn’t think highly of himself. He needs to “try to see” the good others observe in him.

“The last time Miss Edna came home and found me

crying she said Think

about all the stuff you love, Lonnie.

Let those things fill your head.

Popsicle

Icicle

Bicycle

      Sickle cell.

Popsicle

Icicle

Bicycle

      Sickle cell.”

When Lonnie learns that Eric is hospitalized with sickle cell anemia, he’s upset and trying to control his emotions. He draws on a coping method Miss Edna taught him: thinking of things he loves to take his mind off the pain. However, he can only think of positive things that rhyme with sickle cell, so his mind keeps coming back to the disease. This illustrates that despite Lonnie’s best efforts, he can’t forget the pain and sadness he has heard, much like how he’s struggling to move forward after losing his parents.

 “I ain’t writing no poetry, Lamont says. No black guys be

writing poetry anyway.

I already have my poetry notebook open but I close it

      real fast.

What about Richard Wright, Ms. Marcus says. And

      Langston Hughes.”

Lamont’s comment that “no black guys” write poetry pinpoints the stereotype that Black men are neither intellectual nor sensitive, something Lamont believes. When Lonnie closes his notebook, he reveals a fear of being viewed as either of these things. Additionally, Ms. Marcus’s response attempts to debunk that stereotype by providing examples of successful Black poets.

“Hip Hop Rules the World, Lamont said

grinning like somebody had told him

he’d just won the lotto.

But all it was was Ms. Marcus saying

Of course rap is poetry!

One of the most creative forms.”

Lamont’s opinion about poetry changes when he learns that hip hop and rap lyrics are poetry too. Unlike the examples of Richard Wright and Langston Hughes, musical artists are people the students can connect to because they’re familiar with the music. Hip hop, rap, and written poetry all provide the students with examples of successful writers who look like them, which inspires and motivates them. Later, Lamont takes pride in calling himself a poet, which he refused to do previously.

“Please Lord don’t let Miss Edna’s mind be gone

’cause I was just getting used to living here

Please Lord me and her don’t always get along but

she’s all I got right now.”

When Lonnie comes home one day to find Miss Edna dancing in the kitchen, he worries that she has lost her mind. His silent prayer reflects his affection for Miss Edna and his growing sense of comfort in her home. His “getting used to living” with the woman indicates that he likes it there, and his noting that she’s all he has suggests that he finally feels loved.

“The #52 bus takes a long time coming and even though

it’s the first day of spring it’s still a little cold so when

the #69 comes real fast, I think That’s God. And when

the heat’s turned up real high inside the bus and I

ain’t shivering no more, I think That’s God too.

And then I’m walking the blocks to Lili’s new mama’s house

and when I get there, I see Lili standing at the

window waving and grinning and I think

There’s God.”

Lili asked Lonnie to read the Bible and find God. Although he has read the book, he doesn’t understand some of it. Instead, he finds God in the positive and beautiful things in life. At the start of his story, Lonnie struggled to see beauty in the world, but now he embraces the little things, like a warm bus on a cold day, and truly cherishes those he loves, especially his sister. This passage highlights the shift in Lonnie’s outlook.

“It’s almost May

and yesterday

I caught a firefly in my hand.

First firefly I

seen in a

long, long time.”

When Lonnie catches a firefly, he notes that he doesn’t see them very often. As a result, this seems like a magical moment because he not only saw one but accomplished the difficult task of catching one. This moment symbolizes hope. Lonnie is starting to possess optimism and to love his new life despite the loss of his parents. The fact that Lonnie can catch the insect in his hands represents the notion that hope isn’t just an idea but something he actually holds within himself.

“Now Rodney puts his arm around my shoulder

We keep walking. There’s a park

eight blocks from Miss Edna’s house

That’s where we’re going.

Me and Rodney to the park.

Rain coming down warm

Rodney with his arm around my shoulder

Makes me think of Todd and his pigeons

how big his smile gets when they fly.”

When Lonnie spends time with Rodney, the boy feels happy. He compares the feeling he gets when Rodney puts his arm around him to the joy his neighbor Todd feels when he sees his pigeons flying. This passage highlights how joy can come from unexpected sources. Earlier, Lonnie recounted his dislike of pigeons, yet he sees beauty in them when he’s with Todd. Here, Lonnie is without his family but feels something like familial love when he’s with Rodney, someone who isn’t his blood relative. Furthermore, in past poems, rain signified Lonnie’s melancholy mood, but here it doesn’t relate to his emotions: He’s content despite the weather.

“What’s up, Dog? We say to him

and he just looks off, nods real slow

like he’s seen some things

we’ve never seen.

Knows some things

we’ll never know.”

When Eric returns to school after being hospitalized with sickle cell anemia, he’s quiet and withdrawn. He looks off into the distance but stays silent, as if he has witnessed something horrible. This contrasts to Eric’s depiction earlier in the novel, when he teased Lonnie for never having seen anything. Lonnie’s silence is because he can’t talk about the horror he witnessed; now Eric has experienced something terrible and can’t talk about it either. The irony is that those who are silent about what they’ve seen in the world have endured much more than their silence indicates.

“I want to say You sure are beautiful, LaTenya.

I want to say You sure are something.

But my lips get stuck over my teeth

And my mouth dries up.

And all I can do is reach out and touch

those tiny bumps that once was fingers

look at LaTenya, smile and let out a little whisper

No.”

When Lonnie and LaTenya sit together at recess, he asks about the bumps on her hand. When she confesses that she used to have extra fingers, she asks if he thinks she’s weird and if he’ll run away. Although he’s tongue-tied and can’t say all the positive things he’s thinking, Lonnie shows his compassion by touching her hand and telling her “no.” His one-word response, on a line of its own, emphasizes that the answer to her question is simple and clear to Lonnie. This demonstrates not only his compassion but also irony: He’s a poet who has no words.