Jennifer Chan Is Not Alone

“Reagan has that best-friend way of reaching into my brain and knowing what I’m thinking—even before I do.”

Mal’s friendship with Reagan is one that began with them mutually supporting one another through their insecurities. However, the friendship also becomes unhealthy when Mal becomes completely dependent on Reagan to assuage her fears and tell her how to behave. Mal finds comfort in knowing that Reagan can read her mind, but she is unaware that what she thinks is Reagan’s perceptiveness is really Mal relinquishing her own opinions. Reagan knows what she’s thinking because she tells her what to think and Mal follows.

“Dad said, in his typical Dad-language, ‘She’s exploring an outward expression of her inner feelings.’ Which made me feel worse. It wasn’t an outward expression of anything. It was just makeup.”

When Mal’s mother, Mrs. Moss, notices Mal wearing eyeliner, Mal becomes self-conscious and almost cries because she feels judged. Her father supports her desire to change her look and experiment, but Mal resents being analyzed so openly. Mal wears the makeup Reagan gave her to look cool and feel older, but when her father tries to validate her “inner feelings,” Mal denies that the makeup signifies anything. The scene demonstrates how much Mal refuses to acknowledge her deeper feelings and motivations, and her lack of self-examination provides context for how she could end up bullying someone because of her insecurities.

“Then she looked me up and down, and the dizzy, unpleasant rush of being watched smacked into me. […] I wasn’t ready for her to judge me. I wondered what she was thinking, what kind of person she was seeing. My stomach twisted.”

Mal’s discomfort when Jennifer looks at her illustrates her lack of confidence and hypocrisy. Her intention when she decided to meet Jennifer was to judge her, and the reversal causes Mal to resent being in a position where she is not in control. Mal also assumes that Jennifer’s glance is meant to size her up, which contradicts Jennifer’s bubbly personality when they first meet. To Mal, meeting a new person is competitive as she tends to rank people in terms of where they belong in the social hierarchy.

“[T]he Florida humidity had given us a break tonight, too, because apparently not even the weather could say no to Jennifer Chan.”

Mal personifies the weather to connote Jennifer’s optimism about the cosmos and her infectious enthusiasm. For their sleepover, Jennifer set up tents in the backyard so they could sleep under the stars. Mal, who normally has anxieties about sleeping away from home, is surprised to find herself comfortable with Jennifer. The weather is not typically humid and stifling, which allows them to enjoy the wide open night sky. The serenity of the scene demonstrates Jennifer’s liberating influence on Mal, who can break away from the constraints of conformity when she is with Jennifer.

“I had to make her understand that this mattered—what people thought had everything to do with who she was. Because how do we know who we are without knowing our place in the world?”

One of the ironies in Mal’s impression of Jennifer is that Mal thinks she is doing Jennifer a favor by providing survival tactics on how to socially fit in. Mal believes her place in the world is determined by others, whereas Jennifer determines her identity for herself. Jennifer’s concept of her place in the world is to think beyond the boundaries of her own planet and explore the mysteries of the cosmos. Much of Mal’s growth during the novel comes from unlearning these initial ideas about social conformity.

“But then came a sharper feeling, too, like a shard of glass in a box of cotton balls. Annoyance, almost. Because she should have felt embarrassed and worried. […] It didn’t seem fair for her to ignore all the things that mattered.”

When Jennifer pays no heed to Mal’s attempt to teach her the importance of conforming, Mal becomes angry and resentful. The simile of glass in cotton foreshadows Mal’s jealousy and the ways she will figuratively and literally tear at the things that Jennifer values. Rather than find inspiration in Jennifer’s self-confidence, Mal considers their difference as an injustice. The more unique Jennifer reveals herself to be, the more insecure and aggravated Mal becomes.

“She said most people follow trends, but the best people set them. […] It’s the coolest thing, she once said, to worm your way into how people think.”

Reagan tells Mal that having influence over people is an important part of becoming popular and gaining followers. Her word choice of “to worm” connotes connivance and decay, and she believes getting people to copy a trendy turn of phrase that she’s invented is an indication that she’s superior and “the best.” Reagan values her influence on other people as a form of power that serves her ego rather than as a way to inspire people to do good things and make a positive impact on the world.

“The problem is, going to Ingrid would be betraying Reagan. It would mean taking a step backward, toward the person I used to be—toward a person I never wanted to be again.”

Mal’s misguided sense of loyalty to Reagan leads her to think that seeking the help of unpopular but intelligent people like Ingrid is a regression. Mal fears that spending time with people outside of her clique violates the rules of the school’s social hierarchy. She also thinks she will revert to her nervous and insecure ways if she breaks her metaphoric bubble with Reagan. These lines highlight the severity of Mal’s insecurities and her inability to see that her real betrayal was to Jennifer—a girl who considered Mal her friend, and whom Mal ostracized and bullied.

“She’s the kind of person who’s great as a friend and terrible as an enemy.”

In a flashback, Reagan describes to Mal how quickly Tess spread gossip that Reagan planted about her mother being struck by lightning. Reagan intentionally told this lie to mask the painful truth of her mother’s abandonment. Her encouragement to Mal that they become friends with Tess alludes to a Machiavellian principle of surrounding oneself with one’s enemies to avoid being under their attacks. Reagan chooses friends strategically to manage her public image rather than to build bonds based on mutual admiration and respect.

“[M]y parents and Ingrid and the other kids at school—looked at me and saw a scared little girl […]. But when Reagan looked at me, she saw someone different. Someone brave and fun and trustworthy.”

Mal describes how she feels like her parents and Ingrid infantilize her, whereas Reagan’s gaze emboldens her. Mal’s dependence on Reagan to improve her self-esteem is so strong that Mal gets anxious and depressed without her. The relationship provides Mal with security, but she neglects to build her self-worth from within. Mal’s eagerness to please Reagan and not risk losing her validation causes Mal to become a passive follower rather than the “brave” person she imagines herself to be.

“Sometimes when I don’t know how to react, I think about what my friends would do. Tess would clap back. Reagan would make a joke like she didn’t care at all. But neither of those responses seems right. Instead I say, ‘Maybe I was wrong.’”

After seeking Ingrid and Kath’s help, Mal continues her path to self-improvement by questioning her tendency to follow other people’s leads to guide her actions. When Kath points out how Mal and the other kids at school never took Jennifer seriously, Mal decides to reflect on her own attitudes. The scene depicts how Tess typically responds to criticism with an insult, and Reagan responds with feigned indifference. In this instance, Mal accepts the criticism as true and begins to admit to her own misjudgments. Rather than deflect opinions that challenge her, she opens herself up to change.

“I feel a hot flash of embarrassment—and then the shame that follows. I hate that there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to be seen talking to Kath and Ingrid.”

Mal’s embarrassment about being seen with Kath and Ingrid illustrate how she is still heavily reliant on her clique’s approval of her image. Although Mal admits to not liking Tess very much, Tess’s opinions still have priority over those of the girls who actually listen to Mal and are trying to help her. This episode demonstrates how Mal’s perspective is determined by others and how she struggles to formulate her own opinions.

“It’s hard to do it alone, of course, because the world is easier with someone who gets you. But if I have to do it alone, I can do it for him, and for me. I have my research, and my courage, and my strength. And that’s everything I’m ever going to need.”

Jennifer’s journals offer more context for her life at home, and in her entry titled, “What I Need,” she reveals her thoughts about her father’s illness and impending death. The journals demonstrate how Jennifer’s hobby is not something to mock or something that is foolishly bound up in sensationalism. Rather, her passion for aliens allows her to explore deeper issues of her family life, honor her father, and think resiliently about the strength she needs to make an impact on the world. Unlike Mal, who fears relying on herself to face the world, Jennifer acknowledges that doing things alone are challenging, but she knows that she has a purpose, and this motivates her to strive.

“Malaise […] What are our concerns about safety and negative consequences?”

Ingrid devises an action plan for finding Jennifer and outlines three major steps she labels “MALAISE, METHOD, and MESSAGE” (98). The terms function as a guide for conscientious behavior, coordination, and thoughtful communication. Malaise specifically addresses risks and consequences, and Mal at first tries to repress any reminders of how her bullying contributed to Jennifer’s disappearance. Toward the end of the novel, Mal employs the three terms to help her think through her plan of finding Jennifer. Mal demonstrates that she can navigate her decisions with foresight, consideration, and care.

“But do you think humans would ever care about other people, or other species, more than themselves?”

Ingrid’s question reveals her belief that humanity may never overcome its faults of selfishness and insularity. Both Mal and Kath are more optimistic and believe that progress is possible. The three girls illustrate how Jennifer’s search for extraterrestrial intelligence functions as an allegory to explore questions of human nature and whether someone can be inherently good or bad. Mal’s belief in progress allows her to trust that she can become a better person despite her previous cruel behavior.

“It’s like your reality merges with the rumors, and you aren’t sure what’s real anymore. You can’t trust your own memory.”

On the day of the capoeira incident, when Pete bullies Jennifer, Mal can’t clearly recall how the events transpired. Her inability to distinguish between rumors and reality point to the ways information can easily become distorted. Mal’s inability to trust her own memory also suggests how little faith she has in herself to see objectively and truthfully. On the other hand, not trusting her memory also suggests that Mal considers other points of views and not solely her own.

“But some kids wanted a show. And deep down, I worried I was one of them. I knew I wasn’t, mostly. But it was hard to know myself one hundred percent. It was hard to be sure there wasn’t a scrap of me that wanted something exciting to happen.”

In a moment of honesty and introspection, Mal acknowledges that she didn’t intervene in Pete’s bullying of Jennifer because a part of her enjoys witnessing drama. By recognizing her complicity, Mal learns that if she wants to truly know who she is, she needs to examine her motivations and her actions and not simply follow other people’s opinions. Mal also demonstrates that being worried and feeling shame is not always a sign of low self-esteem; it can be a healthy part of her personal growth and shows her acceptance that she’s done something hurtful and wrong.

“I stood there thinking, I want to be different.”

The capoeira scene contextualizes Mal’s spiteful treatment of Jennifer and reveals Mal’s underlying feelings of resentment and jealousy toward Jennifer’s self-confidence. Jennifer succeeds in defusing Pete’s bullying and getting other people to appreciate her for being different. She upsets the logic of conformity and “the popularity chain” that Mal unquestioningly follows (113). Jennifer proves that she can be accepted on her own terms. For both Mal and Reagan, this undermines more than their authority as the popular girls in school. Jennifer makes them feel like they are nothing special, so she becomes a scapegoat for their insecurities.

“It’s like God.”

The novel portrays various belief systems as valid ways of understanding the world and one’s place in it. Mal compares Jennifer’s belief in aliens with a belief in God, whereas Tess, whose religious upbringing emboldens her to cast judgment on others, completely disagrees and discounts Jennifer’s beliefs as “wrong.” However, Mal discerns that Jennifer’s belief, like people’s faith in God, provides her with the comforting idea that she is part of a bigger world and is not alone.

“You are literally the nicest person I’ve ever met, and she said you’re evil. That’s just beyond.”

To goad Mal into bullying Jennifer, Reagan invents a narrative and casts Jennifer as the mean person. Reagan uses both rumor and the knowledge of Mal’s low self-esteem to control her behavior. In many ways, Reagan manipulates other people’s weaknesses in the same way Tess does by striking at their vulnerabilities in the guise of friendliness and concern. The scene reveals how Reagan hyperbolizes tensions and escalates conflicts for drama.

“Maybe this was how the world worked. But maybe it wasn’t how the world should work.”

At the end of the Incident, Mal feels that she has reestablished the social hierarchy at school and that things will return to normal. However, her conscience troubles her, and she begins to question whether the status quo is worth maintaining. Instead of thinking about power imbalances as inherent or a matter of having a realistic outlook, she considers challenging them. Mal’s comment points to the ways young people can feel empowered and believe they can make a difference.

“I finally read what Jennifer wrote—the words she asked me to read months ago. Here is Jennifer, with all her heart, and seeing her fully feels a little like skin peeled back, emotion scraping against something raw. I feel what she feels, and knowing that I hurt her…hurts.”

Mal experiences empathy when she reads Jennifer’s journal and feels the hurt that she has caused. Her simile of “skin peeled back” connotes Jennifer’s vulnerability and pain as well as the painful truths in her life that are “raw” but real. Until this moment, Mal has been avoiding getting to know Jennifer on a deeper level, and she has also avoided examining herself with the same introspection.

“Then we’ll face it and learn to be better. […] Don’t you want to make this right?”

In the car ride to find Jennifer, Mal shows that she has shifted from blaming others for her actions to owning up to her faults and accepting the consequences. Despite Mal’s prodding, Reagan rejects confronting her culpability. Her reluctance is a mixture of fear and dejection. In this moment, Mal sees herself as a leader rather than a follower and learns to become more independent. The scene contrasts from the beginning of the novel, when Mal would wait anxiously for Reagan to text her back and tell her how to feel. By the end of the novel, Mal knows what needs to be done and does not need or seek Reagan’s approval.