Insignificant Events in the Life of a Cactus

The theme of self-acceptance and the need for belonging runs throughout the novel. Aven longs to belong: to have friends and be socially accepted like she was at her old school. But before that can happen, Aven must completely accept herself. Over the course of the school year, Aven learns that everyone is significant and has a light to shine, including herself.

Although Aven has a positive attitude about herself and her disability, she is still hurt and excluded by others’ stares. She thinks of herself as an expert problem solver, but also calls herself a “freak,” and believes that is often what others think of her. Aven’s initial blog posts are lighthearted attempts to downplay her armlessness, but Aven is self-aware enough to know that she is trying to convince herself as much as others that her disability does not matter. Aven, along with Connor and Zion, hides from fully participating in the school culture. Their withdrawal from others exacerbates their exclusion and shows that they do not yet truly accept themselves for who they are.

Aven wishes she could emulate the character Stargirl, from Jerry Spinelli’s novel of the same name. Aven admires Stargirl because the character does not fit in to her new school, but also does not care. Aven does care, though, acknowledging, “I wished I could say the same thing” (75). Aven longs to be “like everyone else” (212) and to feel included. The desire for friendship and belonging is a psychological need. Everyone wants to be an accepted member of a group, to give and receive attention. When people are included in a group, they experience positive emotions. When they are excluded, they can experience grief and depression. Ultimately, Aven does not wish to be invisible or stared at; she craves connection with the people around her.

Connor also wishes he could “pretend to be normal” (68). He dismisses the idea of belonging, saying bitterly that “I won’t ever be able to do anything with my life” (197). Aven’s influence helps Connor understand that he is self-sabotaging, and helps him step out of his shell. Connor stops pushing his mother away and braves the cafeteria with Aven and Zion. With his self-acceptance and celebration of individuality, he finds new roles in a larger social world.

Aven’s Dad helps her recognize that she is unique and significant and should not wish to be like anyone else, but should embrace who she is and let her personality “shine.” Aven bravely self-assesses and decides to do the hard thing, risking stares and ridicule, rather than to continue hiding in lonely safety. This choice allows others to see beyond Aven’s disability to her talents and personality. She makes new friends, gains self-confidence, and loses her fear of others’ opinions. Aven fully internalizes her own positive assertations, and now truly believes she “can do anything” (197). By the novel’s end, Aven’s final blog post is her most honest and inspirational, reflecting her newfound strength. Aven now proudly acknowledges that she is “totally an original” (258), recognizing her unique qualities as positive.

A major theme in Insignificant Events in the Life of a Cactus is the importance of friendship. Bowling explores what being a good friend entails and the emotional benefits friendship provides.

At the beginning of the novel, Aven is lonely. For the first time since kindergarten, her armlessness keeps her from making friends until she finds Connor and Zion. Friendship requires acceptance. Empathy and understanding over their shared experience of difference allow them to bond. The three friends feel comfortable and safe together because they unconditionally accept one another, much the same way Aven feels welcome at the Tourette’s support group. Aven especially appreciates Connor’s directness. Unlike most people, who either stare at her or fixate on her disability, Connor accepts Aven for who she is. Aven, in turn, tells Connor, “I like you just the way you are” (136).

Friendship involves sharing fun times like hanging out together, playing video games, investigating the mystery of Stagecoach Pass, and eating lunch together. But it also involves a sense of responsibility to one another. Aven tells Connor that “Friends help each other” (154). Aven believes that they should encourage each other, not bring each other down, or let any one of them get down on themselves, like Connor often does. Friendship means having the courage to defend each other against bullies and other forms of harm. It also involves looking after one another. After Connor and Aven fight, she tells Zion that she is not Connor’s “all-the-time-watcher…person” (215), echoing the Bible story in which Cain refuses to be his “brother’s keeper,” but Zion scolds Aven for not taking responsibility for her friend. Zion helps Aven see that their friendship is more important than their disagreement. Friendship also involves self-sacrifice and the courage to face your fears in order to support your friends, as Connor did by going to the store to buy Aven gummy bears.

The rewards of friendship are many: shared understanding, a sense of belonging, happiness, self-confidence, and emotional support. Aven’s final blog post lists the qualities of good friends that she has found in Connor and Zion. Aven advises her readers to seek out good friends and then to “hold onto them forever” (258).