I'm Thinking of Ending Things

The protagonist and Jake sit down at the dining table. The protagonist suffers from a headache but says nothing of it to Jake. Finally, Jake’s parents join them at the table. Their conversation centers on the mother’s struggle with tinnitus. Her phone rings during the meal, but she refuses to answer it; its battery dies soon after. She notes the similarities between Jake and his parents: “Seeing someone with their parents is a tangible reminder that we’re all composites” (96). Jake’s parents claim he was once there with his last girlfriend, though Jake has never mentioned this to the protagonist before.

Jake’s mother proposes they play a game of imitation. They have the protagonist go first, but she is uncomfortable imitating Jake. When it is Jake’s turn, the protagonist is astonished at his uncanny impersonation of her: “He’s becoming me in front of everyone” (99).

The protagonist is lactose intolerant and can’t eat the creamy dessert Jake’s mother has prepared. She notes that Jake’s mother has changed her dress between courses. As the rest eat dessert, the protagonist is shocked to discover she has been biting her nails during the meal and tries to hide her bloody nailbeds. She is disappointed in Jake’s silence during the dinner, as he is usually a good conversationalist.

The protagonist excuses herself to the bathroom. Once there, she notes the incredible cleanliness of the room as well as its lack of a vanity mirror. She is about to leave the bathroom when she suddenly feels as if someone has followed her to the bathroom and is standing outside the door. She opens the door and notices her slippers, which she removed before entering, have been turned the other way around.

Leaving the bathroom, the protagonist walks past the open basement door, through which she hears a whirring sound. She decides to explore the basement. She finds storage boxes and a painting easel holding a painting but no supplies. The painting depicts the basement and two figures: one a child and the other a tall being with elongated fingernails. She finds stacks of similar paintings on a bookshelf nearby. The paintings remind the protagonist of Jake once telling her that humans communicate through symbols, allegory, and metaphor.

The protagonist can hear Jake’s parents arguing through the vent. They are worried about their son quitting his job at the lab and being misdirected in his career path. She leaves the basement, noting how the trapdoor that conceals the stairs had a lock on the inside, so the door can only be locked from below.

At the end of the chapter, the Speakers discuss how Jake bled out in the janitor’s office from multiple puncture wounds.

After leaving the basement and finding neither Jake nor his parents in the kitchen, the protagonist goes upstairs to see Jake’s childhood bedroom. She finds an envelope in his desk drawer labeled “Us” that holds close-up pictures of various body parts. She remembers Jake enjoys photography, noting the photos hung up on the walls but then realizes that has never seen a photo of Jake. On a shelf the protagonist finds a photo of a young blonde girl the protagonist assumes must be Jake’s ex-girlfriend, though her appearance doesn’t match the description Jake told her. There is a man in the background of the photo who isn’t Jake and is watching the girl in the photo.

Jake’s father enters the bedroom, concerned for the protagonist as she is trembling. They talk about Jake’s love for stories and writing. He invites the couple to spend the night, but the protagonist responds that it should be Jake’s decision because he must work in the morning. The father thanks the protagonist for being with Jake and for visiting them, saying, “We were starting to think he’d never bring you home, after all this time” (117). Jake’s dad apologizes for his wife’s strange behavior and assures the protagonist she is not crazy, only deaf. He confuses the protagonist with Jake’s ex-girlfriend, the musician Steph, and says, “You guys are a good match. Not that you need me to tell you. Certain things like math and music, go together well, don’t they?” (118). Before they leave, Jake’s mother gives the protagonist a plate of leftovers as well as a folded-up portrait of Jake. She warns the protagonist to wait to open it later, as the protagonist is not yet ready to see it.

In the car driving home, the protagonist begins to feel exhausted. She has not slept for several nights. She asks Jake about Steph and learns that they were together just after high school. He doesn’t know who the man in the background of the picture is but suggests it might be his brother. As the protagonist has never heard him talk about a brother before, she is shocked and wants to know more. Jake explains that his brother suffered from psychological instability, would follow him around, was perpetually alone, and struggled to connect with other people. Eventually, Jake cut him out of his life. Both Jake’s brother and his mom struggle with trichotillomania, or pulling out their hair in times of stress.

Jake’s willingness to share intimate details about his family complicate the protagonist’s decision about ending things, as she now feels closer and more emotionally attached to Jake.

At the end of the chapter, the Speakers discuss the reputation for psychological problems that Jake displayed at work in the time leading up to his suicide. Notebooks have been found full of Jake’s writing, which one of the Speakers plans to read.