I'm Glad My Mom Died

Nonfiction | Autobiography / Memoir | Adult | Published in 2022

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Chapters 5-6Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Chapter 5 Summary

The chapter opens with Jennette rushing her family to get to church on time. Her family belongs to the Church of the Latter Day Saints, but they did not begin attending church until her mother was diagnosed with cancer. Jennette loves church because it is three hours away from her home that she hates. Their home is in Garden Grove, a neighborhood referred to by others as “Garbage Grove.” Jennette’s grandmother and grandfather also live with them, and even with all four adults working, it is not enough to pay rent.

After her mother became sick, she began hoarding. The garage is filled to the ceiling with junk, and often stinks of the dead animals that get caught in traps placed by her father. The bedrooms are so full of trash that everyone sleeps on makeshift mats. In this chaos, Jennette attempts to predict any mistake or disaster that will upset her mother and make them late to church. Despite Jennette’s efforts to clean everything up and get her family ready, her mother gets upset, setting Jennette’s predicted events into motion. She wonders what she could have done differently.

Chapter 6 Summary

Her father walks through the door three hours late from his shift, and Jennette grows anxious as she realizes her parents are about to fight. Desperate to diffuse the situation, she runs up to her mother and tells her that she loves her. Jennette’s brothers are playing video games, unaware and unbothered by the conflict. Jennette suggests they watch Jay Leno, which the family always does together. She is dismissed: “And I’m out. She has spoken. I am silenced. I thought for sure Jay would work” (49). Her mother flies into a violent rage, attacking her father and spitting in his face. He tells her that she needs help, which frustrates Jennette because that will only make it worse. Jennette cheers her mother on. Her mother pulls out a knife and screams at Jennette’s father to leave, which he does. Her mother collapses to the ground and wails as Jennette hugs her.

Chapters 5-6 Analysis

Her mother is a hoarder, and no one has a functional bedroom or bed. The amount of clutter even becomes dangerous, as the only way to access their fridge is through a broken automatic garage door. Jennette’s home makes her feel anxious and uncomfortable, both because of its physical state and the emotional tension: “This house is shameful. I hate this house. I hate how being inside it makes me feel tense and anxious, and all week long I look forward to my three-hour escape into the land of testimonies and pine-scented tile cleaner” (41). As a result, church is Jennette’s respite; its calm and predictable nature is the opposite of her home life.

In an attempt to sort through the chaos and ensure her escape to church, Jennette seeks order, trying to find a way to control the family’s behavior. As her brothers eat on the floor, they spill milk, and Jennette springs into action. She imagines her mother’s future reaction if she steps in the milk:

I know that the second she steps onto the milk-sopped carpet, she’ll rip off her tights, fly into hysterics, and demand that we stop at Rite Aid on the way so that she can get a new pair of tights. If we stop at Rite Aid, that will cut into my three-hour-escape (43).

She tries to clean up the mess, but her mother steps in it anyway, making them late to church. Jennette’s attempts to diffuse situations and be hypervigilant signal a strong need for order and a sense of autonomy.

This is emphasized further when her father comes home late and her mother flies into a rage. Jennette is frustrated that her father does not read her mother’s emotions like she does. Despite her young age, she attempts to insert herself in the situation: “I’ve got this, I can keep her calm” (48). When she is pushed out, she can only watch as her father makes mistake after mistake: “Dad starts taking off his shoes, thinking dumbly that maybe it’s over, maybe Mom’s mood has shifted and she’s back to normal. How can he not know? How can he never know?” (50).

These two chapters establish a strong sense of responsibility that Jennette feels to try to calm and appease her mother and a sense that she is the only one who can do so.