If You Tell: A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood

1. General Impressions

Gather initial thoughts and broad opinions about the book.

• How did Olsen’s narrative voice help to immerse you into the reality of the Knotek family’s life? Did you feel like you were in each moment with the family, or did you feel like you were observing their lives from a distanced perspective?
• Olsen is a prolific writer of true crime books. What distinguishes If You Tell from his other works? Conversely, are you able to see the common links between Olsen’s works and suggest what draws him to cover a case for a book?
• Do you think Nikki, Sami, and Tori are happy to be free from Shelly and Dave? How might their experience continue to have affected them for the rest of their lives?

2. Personal Reflection and Connection

Encourage readers to connect the book’s themes and characters with their personal experiences.

• Do you have any siblings you are close to? What are the factors that allowed your relationship to develop this way (e.g., shared experiences, shared values, etc.)? If you don’t have this kind of relationship in your life, discuss any close siblings you might know, whether they are from your family or not.
• Do you think that suffering abuse from someone else gives a person license to leverage favors from them? How does this affect the power dynamic between the two people?
• How do you deal with family secrets? Is it important to have a confidante outside the family? Or do you feel a duty to keep that secret to yourself, no matter how it affects you emotionally?
• How might memory help to address family-related trauma? Consider the way the book was constructed from collective accounts and interviews. How might this have helped the Knotek sisters to engage with their trauma, speak truth to power, or both?

3. Societal and Cultural Context

Examine the book’s relevance to societal issues, historical events, or cultural themes.

• In a world where therapy has become increasingly popular, how might you characterize Shelly’s behavior within the scope of popular psychology? Is she a narcissist? A psychopath? Is she an abuser? A manipulator? How might you relate her actions to other people like her in the news or in pop culture?
• The nuclear family was a popular concept throughout the 20th century. What is Olsen’s position on the nuclear family unit? Is it an outdated institution that only engenders abusive power dynamics? Is it a potential venue for authentic solidarity? Discuss the evidence for your answer.

4. Literary Analysis

Dive into the book’s structure, characters, themes, and symbolism.

• Discuss the importance of including Lara’s perspective in the book. How does her experience influence your first impressions of Shelly?
• Explore how the dichotomy between “hunter” and “prey” functions in the book. Do all of the characters believe in this dichotomy? Do they respect it, even if they don’t agree with it? What does it suggest about Shelly’s worldview?
• What are some of the literary techniques Olsen uses to heighten the stakes of the narrative? Consider the ways the narrative treats time, moving things forward (or in some cases, moving things backward).
• Olsen draws from the lives of real people who experienced the pain and suffering depicted in the book’s pages. Does the book ensure that their stories are treated with dignity and respect without exploiting them for the entertainment of the reader? If so, how does it achieve this? What lessons can be learned by those who embark on writing true crime narratives?

5. Creative Engagement

Encourage imaginative and creative connections to the book.

• How would you approach a televised adaptation of the Knotek family story? Would you present it as a straightforward dramatic adaptation? Would you intersperse scenes with interviews featuring the real-life Knoteks? What could each of these decisions suggest about your thoughts on the material?
• Imagine you are one of the three Knotek daughters. Write a letter to Shelly to express your feelings about your life today. Feel free to call Shelly out for her abuse, but focus on embodying the feelings that the daughters have by the end of the narrative. What might your letter teach you about the ways the Knotek girls live with their trauma to this day?

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