49 pages • 1 hour read
Matt de la PeñaI Will Save You
Fiction | Novel | YA | Published in 2010A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Pages 62-122Chapter Summaries & Analyses
Pages 62-87 Summary
Kidd sees Olivia again after an unsuccessful surfing lesson with Red. He sits on the cliff, hidden behind bushes, watching Olivia and her friends below. Kidd cannot capture his feelings for her in his journal.
Red appears, teasing him and then apologizing for the surfing lesson. Changing the subject, Red wonders if the people from Horizons will come looking for Kidd; he hopes not because the boy is a good worker. He asks if Kidd misses his friends. When Kidd is noncommittal, Red lectures on the importance of having friends. When Red mentions Olivia, Kidd asks why she wears the ski cap, and the man comments that girls can be complicated.
Kidd wonders how Red knows he is lonely, and is interrupted by another voice. This time it is time Devon, who calls him “Special” and a “perv” for spying on the girls. He grabs Kidd’s notebook and reads about Olivia. Devon accuses Kidd of feigning innocence and stupidity. Kidd thinks about the last time he saw Devon when Kidd broke off their friendship. Calmly, Devon told Kidd that Kidd would be lonely and miss him, and he was right. Kidd remembers Devon appears happy but struggles with his mental health, having intentionally harmed himself and attempted suicide.
Devon says that Olivia is not bad even though she is rich. Kidd feels sick. Devon laughs thinking about what will happen if Kidd is brought back to Horizons, which reminds Kidd of when Devon dubbed him “Special.” Devon shouts to the girls below. Hopping on the fence, he poses for photos and flirts. Devon instructs Kidd to meet him after work the next day so they can steal clothes. Despite his reservations, Kidd is lonely and remembers Red’s advice about having a friend, so he agrees.
Devon does not appear for a few weeks, but when he does, he and Kidd make the rounds at local clothing stores. Devon goes inside, looking casual as he surreptitiously stuffs clothes in a bag. Kidd watches the door for security. Everything goes smoothly until the fifth store, where the clerk closely monitors Devon. Devon slips outside with the clothes; the woman sees too late and tries unsuccessfully to chase the boys down. Devon is thrilled at the prospect of almost getting caught, which makes Kidd think of what his therapist at Horizons told him about Devon: The boy has a death drive. He engages in risky behavior because subconsciously, he believes ending his life would not be bad. Devon once told him that he is not a person because if he died no one would care. He tells Kidd that they are the same, which Kidd denies; his parents loved him, even if his dad was sometimes abusive. Kidd’s therapist said that Devon has a death drive like Kidd’s father, which is why Kidd is drawn to him.
Devon splits the clothes between them and shows Kidd the money in his wallet. He explains that stealing is justified because rich kids get so much handed to them while kids like them do not.
Pages 88-90 Summary: “Philosophy 3: About How a Bad Thing Can Turn Good”
In a letter to himself, Kidd remembers Olivia had told him about a book written by a man who was paralyzed. He also remembers when his dad beat his mom, and she was hospitalized. When Kidd saw her, he cried. She told him not to because she would be stronger and not allow this to happen again. Just then, the doctor walked in. When he said hello, the boy told him not to use the name his father gave him.
Pages 91-109 Summary
One day, Red stops by Kidd’s tent. Red congratulates him on finally getting new clothes, and Kidd feels uncomfortable. The man tells Kidd that there will be a bonfire at the beach that night, and Olivia will be there. He encourages Kidd to introduce himself. He spots a hickey on Kidd’s neck, but Kidd is confused and thinks it is a rash. Later, Kidd watches the bonfire from afar, feeling like an imposter. When two girls walk toward him, Kidd panics. They give him a drink, teasing him for calling one of them “ma’am.” They ask his name, so they do not have to call him OCM (Operation Campsite Maintenance) anymore. The girls drag him to the bonfire and introduce him to everyone. After getting food, Kidd sits with a group of guys. They talk of Red’s surfing and his son, which makes Kidd think some things are too sad to talk about.
At midnight, the kids go on a walk, and Olivia, wearing her trademark ski cap, joins them. Kidd feels like he belongs. As they walk, Olivia maneuvers close and says hello. Kidd returns the greeting without thinking. She tells him about the book written by the man who was paralyzed and asks if good can come from bad. Kidd does not know. She reveals that the writer died five days after the book was published.
Abruptly, she asks why Kidd followed her at the park. When he denies it, she confesses that scaring him cheered her up. When Olivia asks about the hickey on his neck, Kidd is embarrassed. Even though they do not talk for the rest of the night, he is happy. Eventually Kidd finds himself alone, and for the first time, he does not mind. He feels like a regular kid.
The narrative shifts to his recollection of the night in the hospital with his mom. After the doctor left, his mom reassured him that this horrible thing has helped her understand how she needs to change things. Remembering this, he vows to tell Olivia that good can come from bad.
Pages 110-111 Summary: “What I Miss About Being Free”
Pages 112-122 Summary
One weekend, Kidd spends an entire day at the beach with Devon talking about girls. Kidd prefers blonds while Devon likes girls with dark hair and darker complexions. They talk about each other’s races, never really naming what they are, but how people never know what Kidd is. Devon tells Kidd that he will never fit in with the campsite kids because they are rich and white, and Kidd is neither. After walking back to the campsite, Devon claims to know everything Kidd thinks, which unnerves Kidd. In the middle of the night, Kidd wakes up to the sound of rain pelting the tent. He cannot write about Olivia, even though he tries.
Pages 62-122 Analysis
This section explores The Impact of Trauma on Mental Health and Identity. Kidd is so vulnerable and hurt by trauma that he divorces part of himself and creates a separate being. Devon is really a part of himself. Kidd doesn’t understand this and speaks of him as his friend, a separate person. As a result, Kidd can acknowledge the toll trauma has taken on him—he speaks of the trauma as having impacted Devon rather than himself. Devon (really Kidd) feels as if he lacks value, that no one cares for him: “[…]if he disappeared one day nobody would call an AMBER alert or even wonder where he was” (82). Because of his lack of self-worth, Devon possesses this death drive, the thrill of putting himself in harm’s way without care of the consequences. As Kidd thinks: “He’s missing that part of your brain that worries about getting caught or hurting another human being” (83).
Devon embodies Kidd’s most destructive qualities. This parallels an adult novel, Fight Club (1996) by Chuck Palahniuk. In Fight Club, the unnamed narrator befriends a man named Tyler Durden. Tyler is destructive, charismatic, and violent. He is an illusion the way Devon is an illusion, embodying the most disinhibited elements of the narrator. As Tyler becomes more destructive, the narrator tries to stop him. In the end, he tries to die by suicide to kill off Tyler and the toxic aspects of himself, much like Kidd, at the end of the novel, pushes Devon—really himself—off a cliff.
These chapters show how Devon is a negative influence. He is mean and manipulative and cajoles Kidd into doing the wrong things, like steal. Kidd thinks: “I promised myself I’d never become friends with Devon, but for some reason I did anyways” (73). Kidd clings to the relationship because he is so desperate for connection with another person, even if that person is not truly there. Devon’s presence, although unhealthy, provides Kidd with companionship, and Kidd cannot resist because he is so lonely. When Kidd tries to end the friendship, “[Devon] just smiled and said [Kidd] was making a huge mistake and how as soon as [Devon] walked away [he’d] be totally, alone” (71). Despite Devon’s negative influence, Kidd still misses him. Without him, his isolation makes him vulnerable.
Red is compassionate. He is a moral touchstone, with the novel conveying its values and core beliefs through him. Red empathizes with Kidd’s loneliness and advises him to find at least one good friend, not a manipulative one. He understands the positive influence genuine relationships have on a person, and recognizes that Kidd is missing them. Red’s well-intentioned remarks stick with Kidd, proving The Power of Human Connection. This is underscored when Kidd notes what he misses most from the summer, particularly the people he loves who empowered him to feel happy and free.
Despite his vulnerability, Kidd strives for change. Through him, the novel explores The Struggle for Healing and a New Beginning. Olivia teaches him that good things can come from bad and pushes him to look at things from a different angle. This echoes his mother’s words about not feeling sorry for herself, and the power and need for resilience:
Sometimes things happen that we don’t necessarily want to have happen. Obviously I didn’t choose to end up in this hospital bed, right? […] But I’m here and now I have to make a choice. I can either lock myself in a room when I get home and sulk and say ‘poor me’ or I can look myself in the mirror and accept what’s happened and come up with some sort of plan that will prevent it from ever happening again (89).
By choosing to change, Kidd’s mother searches for a way to heal. She could ruminate on the situation, but she maps out the future instead. Although her plan is destructive, she attempts to give Kidd a fresh start in life. In the aftermath of her death, he realizes that she was protecting him, and that even though her absence is hard, she will never be hurt again. Kidd shifts his perspective to cope with her death and heal.
Kidd’s father is a destructive influence. Kidd tries to separate himself from him, going so far as to create a new identity for himself. For example, he instructs the doctor not to call him by the name his father chose. In this way, the novel shows how names are important. They are not just placeholders but signify relationships and identity.
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By Matt de la Peña
