I Will Save You

One day, after Devon visits, Kidd follows him. He watches Devon play chicken with an oncoming train, laughing and jumping off the tracks just before getting hit. After observing Devon in the park and at a gas station, he trails him across the highway and under a bridge. There, Kidd discovers Devon’s “secret life.” In a spot littered with mattresses and trash, Devon sits with a homeless girl and woman. The girl, who seems familiar to Kidd, tries to kiss Devon. Pushing her away, he talks about hurting another person because violence is in his DNA.

Kidd becomes obsessed with following Devon. One night, he shadows him and the girl to a giant drainpipe. After a while, Kidd peeks inside and sees them half naked. Uncomfortable, he leaves with more questions than answers. Each night, Kidd senses that Devon knows he is being followed, and Kidd’s questions only increase. One night Devon visits to say that Kidd is better off without him. However, he warns that if Kidd is not with him, he is his enemy. When Devon walks away, he breaks into Red’s work shed and spies on Olivia. Kidd becomes paranoid that Devon is plotting to hurt Olivia, and decides to confront him.

Kidd glides to where Red and Peanut sit with Olivia. It is lighter than usual, and a ship sits closer to shore. They discuss Red’s son, Ben, who was quiet like Kidd. Red confesses that no matter his age, he never feels like an adult. Because of this, Red always worried about messing things up with Ben, and now he worries about Kidd. Olivia shares that she is waiting for Kidd and will not go to New York yet. Red calls them an odd match. This whole time, Red wears a new sombrero, a gift from Kidd that replaced the old one he got from his son Ben. He tells Kidd he loves him. Moved, Kidd realizes how much he cares for Olivia and Red. Olivia shares that Kidd tried to divulge his struggles, but she did not understand. As she continues, Kidd floats back to his prison. When he wakes, he feels empty.

One night, Olivia invites Kidd out to the kelp beds. Even though he is scared after the riptide, he agrees to go. The girls stay on the beach while the guys paddle into the freezing water. Apprehensive, Kidd desperately wants to be seen as a regular guy. Beyond the breaking waves, the water is flat, and they quietly arrive at the kelp beds. Kidd feels like he belongs until he remembers his old life. As this thought surfaces, Devon approaches on a dingy surfboard. Kidd is uneasy, but eventually, they all paddle back to shore. Only Devon stays at the kelp bed. When Kidd walks back with everyone, he sees Devon in the water and senses something ominous between them.

The narrative shifts to Kidd in the present. He has no sense of time and cannot remember seeing guards. Then he worries that someone in Devon’s revolution has him and that Devon is not dead. Kidd screams, but no one comes. Closing his eyes, he remembers Devon paddling in the water and creeping around Olivia’s campsite with a knife. He knows he did the right thing to push Devon.

After the kelp beds, Devon seems to be everywhere. Kidd worries because Olivia notices Devon for the first time at one of Red’s surfing lessons.

On a train to Torrey Pines State Beach, Olivia admits that she believes in fate. As they ride, Kidd wonders how different his life would have been if he were born here instead of in Fallbrook. At their stop, they hike through a forest, and Kidd blurts out that someone is stalking Olivia. When he struggles to explain, she asks him to stop talking about a stalker. Eventually, they emerge into a clearing that overlooks the ocean. Olivia mentions two people who died by suicide together by jumping off the cliff, and Kidd deems it a terrible way to die.

Tentatively, Olivia explains that she has a rare skin condition that causes a permanent, enlarging on her scalp and face, which is why she wears the ski cap. Olivia’s dad has promised to take her to New York for a laser treatment to remove it, and she admits that she is just “going through the motions” until then (231). Then, with tears streaming down her face, Olivia removes her hat. When she says how ugly she feels, Kidd tells her that she is beautiful. Instead of saying anything more, he traces the mark, and they kiss. Kidd feels as if they have both been saved.

Alone, Kidd debates whether Olivia likes him. On one hand, they held hands after kissing. Olivia showed him the mark on her face, they have both felt loneliness, and she wrote the song for him. However, Kidd dwells on their differences. Unlike him, she is white, wealthy, and likely to go to college. Around her parents, Olivia pretends she barely knows him. Although she is sad about the mark on her cheek, she can get it removed. Meanwhile, Kidd’s internal scars will never disappear.

One early morning, Red and Kidd sip coffee and watch the waves. Before Red goes surfing, he invites Kidd to dinner that night to celebrate his son’s 18th birthday. He tells Kidd to invite Olivia. Later that morning, Kidd, Olivia, and Jasmine all watch Red surf. As the girls talk about Red’s past, Kidd spots Devon, who looks at Kidd and moves his hand across his throat before pointing at Olivia. Meanwhile, Olivia carefully watches Kidd.

At the restaurant, Olivia and Kidd sit down with Red and Maria, Kidd’s old counselor. Kidd is happy to see Maria but is also reminded of terrible things at Horizons. Maria repeatedly expresses delight at seeing Kidd, while Olivia is self-conscious without her hat. When the drinks arrive, Red toasts his son. Eventually, the conversation turns to how Horizons allowed Kidd to come work for Red. Kidd stays silent.

Before leaving, Maria talks privately with Kidd. Tears fill her eyes as she tells him that she is proud of him. His mind dredges up repressed memories, like repeatedly banging his head on the shower wall. As Maria continues to talk about Kidd’s progress, he feels ill. Heart racing, Kidd whispers that he is scared he will mess everything up. Maria reassures him that everyone, even she herself, feels that way sometimes. She hugs and encourages him, promising to see him at the grunion run.