I Am Still Alive

Content Warning: This section contains descriptions of violence.

The Canadian wilderness is a central motif in I Am Still Alive, transcending a static status as the setting to become a dynamic challenge and conflict for Jess. Thus, the wilderness becomes a character in its own right. When Jess first awakens on the morning after the cabin burns down, she senses an atmosphere of threat and danger in the wilderness around her, and her descriptions reflect this sentiment: “The sunlight is weak and thin through the thick gray mass of clouds, which hang so low they shroud the jagged tops of the trees. The forest has never looked so much like teeth” (10). Surviving the wilderness becomes her central goal, and she does this while dealing with grief and a painful disability. Jess’s ability to survive despite her initial lack of experience is a testament to The Importance of Perseverance, because without it, she would never survive.

Jess has a complex relationship with the wilderness that develops over time, finding it both terrifying and comforting. She also contemplates its harsh and impersonal nature and asserts, “The indifference of the wild is terrifying—I want to be remembered, to leave a mark. And it is freeing, knowing that the forest does not care, does not judge” (107). After spending time with her father, Jess starts to become “out-in-the-wild educated” (127), and once she is on her own, she learns through her own mistakes. While living in the wilderness, Jess notices the endless demands and countless factors that she must consider, including the weather, food sources, shelter, safety from wild animals, and her disability. She becomes tired and agitated at times, but she always fights through it. By the time Jess leaves the wilderness, she no longer hates it or feels separate from it; instead, she leaves feeling like she is leaving a part of herself behind.