Heartbeat

Annie’s father, despite his presumed constant presence, is rarely mentioned in Annie’s narration. When he is, it is often in a moment where Annie looks to him to gauge his evaluation of the pregnancy and the baby. In “The Birthing Center,” Annie speculates that he seems nervous: “I think he really wants to be there / and to be a good husband and father / but he feels a little queasy about it, too / and me, I am so proud that I can be there / it makes me feel grown up / but I am also a little queasy” (103). Whether or not her perception of his feelings is accurate, it provides insight into Annie’s thinking. As she finds her relationship with her family changing with this new pregnancy and realizes that she has a new role and new responsibilities, she sees that her fears are a normal part of that role. Now that she sees her family as a team, she sees herself and her father as fulfilling similar positions as anxious observers.

When Annie’s grandpa takes a bite of her apple, she has an important realization that she can “draw / the apple that’s in [her] mind” (110). By coming to this conclusion, she recalls her decision to draw portraits of her grandfather, using them as preservation. It also indicates her interest in art and her commitment to the project. When her teacher displays apple drawings from each of the students around the classroom, Annie is amazed to discover that she recognizes her own drawings as being distinctively hers: “I know them instantly / as mine. / I know my line / and now I can see what Miss Freely / says about line” (112). Through the lens of her art project, Annie is beginning to see her unique identity.