Good Talk: A Memoir in Conversations

Z is Mira’s son and the deuteragonist of her memoir. In the exposition, Z is six years old and recently discovered Michael Jackson. He begins asking questions about race and skin color, “Is his skin like my skin?” (4), wondering where he fits into everything. Z is a precocious child with a good sense of humor like his parents and grandparents. He is of mixed Jewish and East Indian descent, and his parents try to be as open with him as possible when he asks questions. Z was born with connecting eyebrows, a “high and fierce” (326) mohawk, and a full eight pounds to his name. He was born just days before President Obama was elected, and Mira views her son as a symbol of hope for a brighter future in America. In the conclusion of her memoir, Mira writes a letter to Z, telling him that his curiosity and search for solutions is what allows her to believe that America can change. Mira also sees her father in Z, as he has a similar personality and was born two years after her father died.

Mira wrote Good Talk not only for herself to be able to process her experiences but also to become a better mother for Z by reflecting on her life and how she can use those experiences to improve Z’s quality of living. Mira starts to worry when Z’s questions about skin color turn into questions about fear and hatred. He wonders if his own father is afraid of him and asks questions about Muslims and Donald Trump. These conversations between Z and Mira, and sometimes Jed, are interspersed throughout the memoir. Their placement within the narrative is intentional, as the questions Z poses often relate to either current or past political events Mira discusses. When Z asks difficult questions, he often gets difficult answers, but his childlike innocence also adds humor to these serious topics. When he asks about racism, Mira describes it as a feeling of superiority, to which Z replies, “I am superior at moonwalking” (80). Z also has deep insights for a child of six. He points out that there are no brown superheroes in the movies he watches and wonders if Iron Man is racist because he is white. It is clear that Z is confused about where he fits into the race politics of America, and his parents do their best to explain things for him. Like his mother, Z feels betrayed when Trump is elected because his parents told him he would never be elected, and his paternal grandparents seem to be supporting Trump’s racist ideologies. Mira is as honest with Z as possible about the realities of being brown in America, and when Mira assures him that he is an American citizen who deserves to be here, he is doubtful. All Mira wants is for her son to “feel good, welcome, and loved” (345) and tries to provide him answers that will achieve that.

Jed is Mira’s husband. He is a white Jewish American with thick eyebrows, black hair, and whiskers. He is a documentary film maker and remarks that he makes “more eye contact than anyone you’ve ever met” (146). Jed originally knows Mira from school, although they never talked then. Mira looks back at the way Jed was always there, and she never realized it:

I spent twelve years of my life with the person who would become my husband at my periphery. In elementary school, he was a dark head running around the playground, the one all the kids said was going to hell because that’s where Jews went. In middle school, he did a giraffe impersonation that involved a lot of slow blinking and licking his own chin.” (149)

She remembers that Jed staged a walk-out to protest the Gulf War in high school and remembers him as brooding and somewhat of a loner. They run into each other by chance on the streets of Brooklyn and instantly connect. Jed asks Mira out, and she immediately begins thinking he just sees her as a phase or a novelty because of her ethnicity. He proves her wrong quickly, however, and the two are married not long after. Mira feels like she can talk to Jed in ways she cannot talk to anyone else.

Jed has very matter-of-fact opinions about politics, relationships, and life, and he is not afraid to voice them. He tells Mira never to accept first offers for a salary, encourages her to pursue writing even when she doubts herself, and insists on sending his parents a violence-against-protesters video clip when they begin supporting Trump. He seems to have endless patience for Mira and allows her to have her moments of strong emotions without judging her or putting her down. He acts as her rock, and sometimes his calm optimism frustrates Mira as well. She feels as if he does not fully understand what she deals with as a brown American. Jed particularly struggles to see how his parents’ support of Trump affects Mira on a personal level, although he does see how it affects her life as an American. However, Jed does his best to listen and support Mira when she goes through these things, and he is fully against Trump as well. He also helps Mira sometimes when Z asks difficult questions that she does not know how to answer. Like Mira, Jed worries for the future that his son will have to live in if relations do not improve.

Mira’s parents are East Indian Americans. They immigrated to the United States in the 1960s, days before the death of Martin Luther King, Jr. Mira’s father wanted to be an open-heart surgeon and his mother insisted that he marry an Indian woman before leaving for America. He chose Mira’s mother because her photo was the most beautiful, and the two were married before ever having met. They insist that their arranged marriage is superior to the American variety of marriage and feel that not knowing each other in advance prevented any sort of disappointment from occurring. Later in their marriage, after Mira is out of college, her parents fall in love and become affectionate and close for the first time in their lives. This causes jealousy in Mira, who has yet to find the person she connects with in that way. Mira’s parents were “the third Indian family to move into the state” (29) of New Mexico. This did not seem to faze them, as they felt they were just as American as anyone else. Mira’s brother describes their childhood: “We were raised by wolves. It’s amazing we survived it all. Even now, I just live every day like kill or be killed” (31). This is all in good humor, but Mira agrees that some of her experiences as a child were ridiculous at best.

Every few years, Mira’s parents tried to move back to India, but it never worked out. They were shocked and dismayed by the state of ethnic relations in the U.S. and disappointed that the things they heard about America being diverse and open appear not to be true. By then they were Americans and decided to stay in the country. Mira’s mother and father have a good sense of humor, and this can be either a benefit or a downfall. When Mira becomes self-conscious about her dark skin, her mother either denies that her skin is dark at all or agrees with others that Mira is not fair and thus should not concern herself with her looks. It affects Mira’s self-image and sends her the message that even her own parents feel her skin is not acceptable. Mira’s parents also pressure her to find someone to marry and make it clear that they would prefer an Indian man. Mira loves her parents dearly and forgives their discretions over time. When her father gets cancer, he fights it for three years but eventually dies. Before he does, he and Mira share a day of smoking weed and enjoying the beauty of the world around them. That day, Mira’s dad says something that Mira knew but did not want to openly admit: “I will never know your children” (239). It becomes their epiphany, and Mira feels a connection to her father that is eternal. When Z is three, he asks about his Appa and suggests that Mira send the pages of her book floating into the sky so Appa can read it. In that moment, Mira knows that her dad is still with her in Z. When Mira is older, her mother tells her that she is proud of her and that she has “helped make this country great” (337); Mira feels the same way about her mother.

Jed’s parents live in Florida. They are white Jewish Americans, and Mira describes them as warm and loving, but they are also guilty of subtle acts of racism towards Mira. Although she sees them as family and calls them Mom and Dad, she is hurt when they plead ignorance to her struggles as a brown woman living in America. When Mira and Jed announce their plans to marry, Jed’s parents describe Mira to their friends as “about as not Jewish as you can imagine” (223) but assure her they love her as well. Mira feels that Jed’s parents are “mostly on the right side of nutty” (250) and describes the day Jed’s mother decides to hold a bar mitzvah for her dog Zuki. She invites all her friends from the dog park, and Mira witnesses Jed’s mother’s ignorance about racism for the first time. When two men at the party assume Mira is a servant, only Jed’s mother’s friend seems to notice. She tells Jed’s mother, who approaches Mira about it. At first, she tries to deny it, saying her friends would never act that way. However, when Mira insists that she knows what she experienced, Jed’s mother has a moment of clarity and feels guilt ridden. She apologizes to Mira, and their relationship appears to be mended.

When the Trump election begins, Jed’s parents announce their support for Trump. Neither Jed nor Mira can believe it, and both feel betrayed and hurt. Mira feels this more than Jed, however, because she knows that as a brown person, she is more affected than Jed by the hate Trump is stirring up. Jed attempts to convince his parents to change their minds about Trump by sending them a video of protesters being beaten and arrested, but this just upsets them and causes distance to grow between them and their son. Months go by in which Mira and Jed speak very little to Jed’s parents, and when they do Jed’s mother refuses to discuss politics. Eventually, Mira and Jed decide to go to Florida and visit them and attempt to begin mending the divide. Mira’s relationship with Jed’s parents serves as an example of the division that can occur in close, loving families when politics turn into hate and focus on differences.

Alison is Mira’s best friend in adulthood. She is white, but Mira feels like she can talk to her about her experiences with discrimination because Alison is willing to admit that many white people are ignorant about other ethnicities. Alison is a calming and understanding presence in Mira’s life, who helps ground her and remind her that she is doing the best she can as a mother. Mira confides in Alison about her struggles with Z and the questions he asks about his skin color and the hate toward brown people in America. Alison seems to know exactly how Mira feels and what she is thinking, making it very easy for Mira to open up with her. Alison also helps Mira learn about white American families and breaks stereotypes that were long held for Mira. When Mira assumes that most white families smoke weed together, Alison replies, “That did not happen. My parents were insanely strict” (225). Mira openly admits that she sometimes has a hard time understanding “a situation with a white person” (304), but Alison is patient and does not take offense to any questions Mira has. When Alison gets mad about the racism Mira experiences at work, Mira feels validated and relieved that someone who is white can see it too. When Mira’s in-laws start supporting Trump, Alison admits that many white people do not understand or see the racism around them because it does not affect them.