Good Morning, Monster: A Therapist Shares Five Heroic Stories of Emotional Recovery

Danny recounts how he and his sister were suddenly taken from their parents by white people who came to their home. Danny and his sister were forcibly placed in a residential school. Gildiner as narrator explains that residential schools came about as a result of a government policy to force members of First Nations to assimilate into white culture. Danny was five or six and was immediately separated from his older sister. He believed his time in the school would be temporary.

One day he was physically beaten for speaking his language, saying hello to his sister whom he spots across the school yard. From then on, Danny stops speaking Cree and eventually forgets the language entirely. As he recounts this and trust builds between Danny and Gildiner, Gildiner recalls Danny’s insistence that he can live without joy. She vows to restore joy to Danny’s life.

Danny gradually reveals more about his time in the residential school. There, students were abused and shamed for their difficulties adopting the white culture that was enforced. Danny did well academically but struggled with this because of the cultural belief of many First Nations that it is unethical to applaud the accomplishments of a single person. Danny also enjoyed the work with animals and farming he was taught.

Danny reveals to Gildiner that he was repeatedly sexually abused by two priests at the school. He expresses frustration with this, unsure why he was singled out. When Gildiner suggests he was targeted because he was “handsome,” Danny storms out. When he returns for another session after much time has passed, the misunderstanding between them is addressed: Danny understood Gildiner’s description of “handsome” to be a compliment intended to “butter [him] up” (151) like the priests did before the abuse. Gaining an understanding of this trigger helps Gildiner to proceed more effectively with Danny. She notes that his method is often to process something alone, then return to it for discussion several sessions later.

Danny explains that his relationship with his parents was problematic after his time in the residential school. His mother, a Catholic, defended the priests when Danny’s sister tried to speak of the physical abuse she’d witnessed them mete out to Danny. Soon, the government took over the land on which his family had made its living trapping and moved families onto reservations. With no work, both of Danny’s parents fell into a life that Danny characterizes as violent and marred by alcohol misuse.

Danny recalls showing his father a medal he had received from his involvement in 4-H (a youth development mission); his father shamed him for it. Gildiner, while acknowledging Danny’s sense of belittlement, is able to help Danny understand why his father responded in this way and recognize the hurt that his father was experiencing. Gildiner considers this a turning point in the therapy.

In his third year of therapy, Danny speaks with his father for the first time in 18 years, telling him about the death of Danny’s wife and daughter. Then, he finally speaks to Gildiner about his wife, Berit, a Norwegian nurse whom he met in a Toronto hospital after being injured in a fight. He admits that the relationship was a struggle because of their differences in their expectations of intimacy. Danny maintained a cultural reserve, which he recognized with his daughter. He explains that he and his daughter, Lillian, were comfortable just being in one another’s presence and had no need to speak. Danny confesses to never speaking with Berit about his cultural beliefs and upbringing and, as a result, Berit found him to be a negligent parent.

Danny acknowledges that he is beginning to be able to access his feelings and feels sadness over Lillian’s death. One day Danny surprises Gildiner by explaining he is angered by a manager at work who uses a racial slur to name Danny, which the manager wrongly perceives to be an acceptable nickname. When Danny takes Gildiner’s advice and requests the manager not to use that language, the manager apologizes and obeys Danny’s request.

With time, Danny is able to speak more about the sexual abuse he experienced. He is upset that he had genuinely liked the priest and felt they had a friendship. The guilt of his trauma also caused later intimacy to become confusing for Danny. However, he is beginning to “thaw” (170), as he puts it, and even visits the graves of his wife and daughter to tell them the things he could not say when they were alive. He tells Gildiner that he likes his job because driving allows him to be alone.

Gildiner feels Danny has had success in Western therapy but wants him to reconnect to his Cree culture.

Gildiner encourages Danny to travel north to reconnect with his father and younger brothers. No one in the family has heard from his sister, Rose, in years; Danny believes it is likely she is not alive. One January, he reports to Gildiner that he has just returned from a visit.

Danny found his father in poor health. His father was surprised that Danny still wore his hair in braids. His brothers arrived, but none of the men spoke much. The brothers drank and became drunk, making jokes about Danny and accusing him of being white. Gildiner recognizes the hopelessness Danny feels—his father has lost everything and is now dying from the effects of alcohol use disorder. His brothers, too, have been impacted by the family’s trauma. Danny feels out of place, not accepted by his family as a “real Indian” (176). Danny’s lack of an identity causes Gildiner to worry he may experience suicidal ideation. Remaining numb to feelings has been Danny’s defense mechanism for many years, and this is what allowed him to function. The return of his feelings may be very difficult for him to process.

Danny sinks into a depression and misses both work and therapy sessions. Gildiner and Danny’s boss are able to help him begin antidepressant medication and, when he returns to therapy, Gildiner points out the evidence of post-traumatic stress in Danny’s life. She also points to evidence that Danny has successfully confronted much of his trauma. Gildiner is frustrated that Danny does not seem to realize the progress he has made but then worries that her own pressuring of Danny may have harmed him. She also notes how the experience of working with Danny has helped her move beyond a trauma of her own, being attacked by a Cree man years ago.

Danny continues to take antidepressant medication and Gildiner proposes Danny explore Indigenous healing. She believes the dreams he is having—imbued with Indigenous imagery—means his psyche would benefit from treatment not available in Western therapy. Danny is resistant, especially when Gildiner explains that such healing involves group therapy. She suggests that Danny start by relearning Cree, which Danny also resists. Gildiner relents, feeling Danny needs to adopt her suggestions in his own time.

In time, Danny does sign up for Cree lessons, and then goes on to connect to his culture through hiking and hunting. Danny learns his father has died but does not feel saddened by this news. He meets and connects with other Indigenous people, including a woman named Sasina whose parents, like Danny, were forced into residential schools. With time, Danny tries several different Indigenous healing practices and develops a romantic relationship with Sasina. He also comes to discover which activities are comfortable and meaningful for him and agrees with Gildiner that it is time to terminate his therapy.

Reflecting on Danny, Gildiner believes two traits were instrumental in Danny’s healing: what his mother termed his “stubbornness,” or, his unwillingness to give in or go against his principles; and his tendency for solitude. She also emphasizes that the strong foundation his parents provided before age five aided Danny greatly. Prior to their sessions, Danny relied on depersonalization to cope: essentially shutting down all feelings.

Gildiner stresses that Danny is an important patient because through him she learned the limits of Western psychotherapy. Educating herself on the healing techniques of Indigenous cultures was necessary. Danny goes on to work with Indigenous youth and frequently refers other Indigenous people to Gildiner for therapy. When she sets out to contact him regarding the book she is writing, she discovers Danny died of throat cancer in his fifties. However, his funeral was attended by hundreds of people whose lives Danny had enriched.